Has anyone felt like the father just doesnt seem to be involved enough? Like the father of my child hasnt bought one baby thing yet....and im 29 weeks along. All he does is rub my tummy. But i feel he isnt here enough emotionally for me... Am i just being overally concerned..or should i talk with him?? Thanx! ↓
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Name: mlscott | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 12:27 AM
So ironic I would get up out of bed unable to sleep because I am feeling similar feelings... Then I come online and read your post first thing. I am steaming mad right now. This is such an important time in my life to me! I have told him repeatedly that I want mat photos taken. He didn't like the prices when I told him how much it would cost. I have been trying to find someone that fits his budget better and now I am 39 weeks and pissed! At least you would think he might take a bloody hint and pick up the camara and offer to take some pics of me himself if he knows it is so important to me! He hasn't taken a pic of me since December when I was barely showing and basically had to push my stomach out! On top of that, about 6 weeks ago I got into my 2 piece bathing suit to go to the pool and he made me feel like I should be ashamed of my body - I hadn't gained but 25lbs at the time and to this day have not popped a stretch mark. I am SO MAD right now!!! I've already spoke to him once and if I do it again I am going to blow up! ↑
Name: mlscott | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 12:30 AM
Sorry, I vented a bit to much there. I would talk to your man. It is the only way we have a chance of not continuing to be dissappointed and this is such an important time in our lives, we want to look back and remember how beautiful it was - not how dissappointed we were in our partners. ↑
Name: bubbasmom | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 12:08 PM
mlscott, if you want pictures, I would recommend walmart or the picture people. My hubby was not into the pictures either (although I made him take monthly pics of me) so I decided to go to the picture people on my own. They were wonderful and did a lot of nice artistic shots. My favorite is where I'm lying down with my shirt pulled up with little baby shoes on my stomach. My hubby hates the pictures but did agree to get ones done together at walmart which are more traditional. For a while, we were thinking we would only have one child so I was so happy I had pictures taken. This time around, I have pictures taken with my son. ↑
Name: mlscott | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 1:39 PM
Thanks for the suggestion bubbasmom! I will check out picture people since they got you some good artistic shots! It took us years of trying to get pregnant with this one and in the back of my mind there is always this nagging thought that it could be my only pregnancy experience. ↑
Someone told me that a woman becomes a mother as soon as she's pregnant and a man becomes a father as soon as the baby is born. My husband isn't super involved...but I know he will be when the little guy comes. I have reminded him that his chance to talk to the baby in utero or to feel his kicks is something that will be ending soon. He has said he feels disconnected since he isn't carrying the baby....so when I told him that these little things that are happening will be over soon..he started to take more of an interest. They are so disconnected that I think they need to be reminded. We feel it ALL day and ALL night long. I can't get angry that he is not constantly reminded. Don't be mad...it is just so different for them. ↑
Name: mlscott | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 2:49 PM
homeworkwithheather, who ever told you that is so WISE! I failed my glucose screen and had to go for the 3 hour test. The day I got the results I called my husband immediately to share with him. I told him I just got the results back and... then he cut me off to inform me he was out for lunch with a friend - he would call me back when he was done. I was so hurt I cried - how could he want to wait to find out something I had been counting down the minutes to find out. ↑
Name: mlscott | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 2:51 PM
PS I had the same conversation with my husband last week regarding feeling the kicks and talking to the baby - he has taken more of an interest since then too... ↑
YAY! So glad you passed your test. What a relief...I passed mine as well...and sorry about your DH...I am having a down day with mine as well...but I keep telling myself that he will never "get it". Nonetheless, he still ticked me off...but I guess that is bound to happen from time to time...good luck with everything...our husbands are going to be thrilled when they come home to us...haha
be well
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Name: julepowers | Date: Jul 24th, 2008 9:30 PM
I hear you with the DH situations! My DH has been pretty good during the pregnancy, but all in all he has no idea what I'm going through. As I'm tired, big and feeling unattractive, he is bent on having his last few months of fun. ughhh...sometimes he acts so selfish. During my first tri I was so sick and we were so excited about finally getting prego that he was very supportive. Second tri I was feeling a bit better and could go places, but every time we went out I was his designated driver. That got old really fast and by third tri (I'm 35 weeks) I didn't have any desire to go anywhere. I just felt so uncomfortable. He goes out at least three times a week and stays out pretty late. When I tried to talk to him about it, he says that if he was home, I would only be sleeping anyway. what a jerky thing to say! He doens't get that I worry about where he is and that he's being safe and have a fitful night's sleep if he's not home. I'm really sick of it, but I hate to feel like a burden to him. In a perfect world, this is not how i wish that my pregnancy would go with him and I wish that he was ultra supportive and came home to make me dinner every night! But, the reality is that he's probably scared of the huge life change ahead and has regressed a bit and is going out to make the most of the time he still has. Gosh, it sounds like a death sentence to me! I could care less about going out becuase I'm so excited about the baby. Men are such idiots sometimes. down the road, I'm sure they will regret being so selfish and self absorbed. You can't gget back time. I'm just hoping that once the baby comes his attitude changes and he is more supportive. My fingers are crossed for all of us! Hang in there girls :) ↑
Name: angelhdfd | Date: Aug 16th, 2008 2:56 PM
Well i talked with him. And it didn't make a difference he procrastinates... we have about 7 weeks left till this babies born and thats if the baby doesn't come early!
He still hasn't bought shit.
And it makes me mad because he doesn't want me to work, but yet he can spend his money on useless things. We don't even have diapers bottles not even a car seat. It seems like he expects other people to buy us all this stuff. And he acts like he's going to have all this money and time once the babies here to go buy it! Ridicoulous to me. and it doesnt help that he has to have surgery and will b laid off for three months and is starting college august 25th what shud i do? ↑
