Okay I am 22 years old, august 3rd will make 7 years my husband and I have been together August 4th will make 1 year of marriage for us.We have two beautiful boys Dante (turned 3 years march 8th) and Zaiden (10 1/2 months will be 1 year september 2nd). Both my husband and I are work construction in Las Vegas, Nevada. We are plumber pipefitters. I know it sounds like a icky job, but really its awsome! We get to be part of building all the casinos on the strip which is cool to tell people who arent from Vegas. As for my backround...I was born in vegas when I was about 2 we moved to Buena park california, Stayed there til I was 7yrs old. My father ended up in prison for steeling millions of dollars of computer equiptment from the company he was working for. Which meant my older sister, little bother mother and I had to Move to Vegas to live with my grandfather for finacial support. My father got out about 2 years later, He as well moved to vegas were we have stayed since. my father got arrested for a DUI about 6 months after his return and then got shipped back to cali for unsinished buisness I guess you would call it. my father never returned, by choice, and only had contact with him once since then and that was about 2 years ago. My mother is crazy pulled me out of school in the fifth grade after i got expelled forbeating up a boy and breaking his nose for calling my friend fat. I never returned to school. my mother was verbally and very physically abuseive. When I was 15 and she found out I was dateing my now husband, she started beating me on our coffee table until I passed out, when I woke she was kicking me on the floor telling me to stop pretending. I got up with the clothes on my back and left the house and have been on my own since. My mother and I still talk and have a distant, but pretend close relationship. I got my GED when I was 16 and I am in college now. I am a very sarcastic and outgoing person. I dont hate ANYONE in life but dont like everyone either. My role model is my mother, because I have used her and still do as a description of exactly what I DONT want to be like as a person and a mother. I love life and all the challenges it comes with. everyday I feel like a stronger person. My kids and my husband are my world and life. I became pregnant for the first time 2months before my 18th b-day, I had a miscarriage and went completely insane, started drinking heavily, abuseing pills and pot, Dh and I even split and I moved in with a friend. 2 weeks after I moved out I found out I was pregnant (Dante was concieve with a condom), I havent touched a drug since then. After Dante was born, about a year and a half later we decided to have another, after a second miscarriage (the 2nd one was easier, because i saw it comming) we ended up pregnant with zaiden. Now 10 months later we just went through a chemical pregnancy (unplanned pregnancy) It had been a horrible past few weeks, but we are okay and getting better. No plans anytime soon for another though. I have endometriosis and I am in pain 95% of the time, but I am a optimistic person, and love and deal with all of it because it is a part of life. My husband and I are very lucky financial wise, we have double income and double benifits, and make way more then most 22 and 23 year olds gat to see in their life. I am proud of everything we have because we have earned everything we have with no help from others.Life is great and our next step is buying a house. we are repairing our credit right now, so we can stop renting and finally own a home...Okay I will stop rambling now, i talk too much also if you havent noticed............and I have a MAJOR phobia of CLOWNS!!...lol...okay not funny seriously clowns are bad! ↓
Oh and I must add that I hate when people judge someones age with maturity level. I am 22 years old married with two kids. I have been through alot like most of you have. my story may seem long, but it really is condensed as much as I could....There is SOOOO much more to it.. I was forced to grow up at a early ahe so I am beyond my years...So for those of you on here who tell the teens, you are too young you are too young....seriously dont judge when they are already pregnant. Most teens grow up alot faster then they should these days and are GREAT parents. No they shouldnt be starved of their teenage years, but shit happens and there is nothing you can do about whats is already done. Some of the best parents I have ever met or known have been teenagers....I love you all, and those of you who have been on here and really know me\. Thank you for always being right there. I have been on here almost eight years and I am still comming back so obviously this forum and the peopl on it do a great job ; ) ↑
yea OUR parents suck but we dont =)...thanks for the goodluck on the house buying, well need it, we have a long road ahead of us. my credit got all messed up when I was 18-19, I had TONS of medical bills and thought I was being reesponsible by putting them on my credit card, instead my credit card went to collections and now it looks like we went on a shopping spree on my credit report. We just got inrolled and accepted into a credit program that settles all our debt and puts it into one payment every month, he said he could probably settle most of our debt to half. I am excited because we are finally getting this ball rolling and we can actually afford to do something about it now. ↑
Well. I have always had ton of little medical problems. I have HORIBLE stomach problems that sometimes cause me a few night stays in the hospital, I have random problems with my blood pressure, I am anemic, lactos intolerant, now I have endometriosis....There is just a ton of little things that have caused little medical bills here and there, emergency room visits left and right...Not as many emergency visits now days, but up until I was about 20 I was in and out of the hospital several times a year....My biggest medical exspence, has been my migranes. My migranes use to be so bad when I was going through puberty that I would have seizure from them, that made for a abulance bill and a emergency room bill. from july 2002-january 2003 I racked up over 80,000 dollars on medical bills. Luckily I dont have to pay those, but I almost did....I just have a lot of little problems that dont sound like much but they all add up to be one big pain in the ass. ↑
Oh and I never mind ANY questions being asked. I am a very open person with EVERYTHING. It comes with growing up around secrets, liars, and manipulators...turns out I want NOTHING to do with any of that, and the best way is to have a VERY open personality =) ↑
I'm like that too :) I don't mind answering anything. A lot of people tell me how shocked they are about how open I am, even with people I really don't know haha. ↑
Lol I get alot of "i didnt need to know that" comments. I think it is funny how so much honestly and being open can make people blush and get all shy ↑
Haha yeah, I don't know. My psychologist, whom I fired because she's dumb, told me I'm "too open" and that I might make people uncomfortable because I don't hold back. I responded, well their loss. I'm perfectly comfortable with my life and who I am and feel no need to hold back ^_^ ↑
Therapists-they just don't understand people who want to live their lives like open books. LOL!! Its funny I had a therapist tell me I was too open when I was 15 too. Only thing is that I'm not as confident as you guys. I do worry about what people think of me and that's something I've been working on lately. I guess that's my "growing up" thing for now. ↑
That's so weird, I was 15 when she told me that too! I guess there's just something about being 15 that makes you an open book haha. ↑
Name: durante baby | Date: Jul 24th, 2008 11:29 AM
all 3 of us were probably loud mouth teenagers, thats all...lol they had to think of a way to try to shut us up. I was fine when i started seing mine then she literally drove me crazy, and had me so doped up on medication, i was a zombie. ↑
Pretty much the same thing happened to me. I was depressed because of my family issues, I didn't have any friends, I was raped, I just felt like my life wasn't where it should be. So I sought out help and got worse and worse and worse. Finally I was like you guys suck at your jobs, so forget it. Then I was much happier. I think that when you analyze every little detail of your life like that, you're pretty much forced to go crazy. Its better to let things go and move on. ↑
Hell Amanda, I'm the opposite. I'm always analyzing every detail of EVERYTHING. So therapy helped. I went to therapy at 15 and was diagnosed with ptsd, a sleeping disorder, anxiety disorder, depression, etc. I got transferred to another therapist about a year later who pissed me off beyond belief because he always said my problems stemmed from the fact that I'm a very angry person. I'm like wtf....I'm never angry. I'm way too nice to people. Years later I realize that he was right. I'm angry but i don't know how to express it in a healthy way. I internalize it and beat myself up or let it make me obsessed with perfecting everything. I don't know how to put the blame where it belongs. As for the drugs...I know the zombie feeling. They tried to put me on them in the beginning and I went along with it hoping it would be the fix-it but one day I found myself in bed half dead and suddenly I saw raindrops coming from my ceiling and my skin tingled and felt wet like water was hitting me. Let's just say I was done right then. Well actually I was done after I spent two hours checking to make sure the ceiling wasn't leaking. LOL! ↑
lol I analyzed everything too. Therapy was just encouraging it when in my case they should have been like "drop it, leave it alone, move on." I analyzed everything so much that I blamed myself for things that weren't even close to being my fault. I would twist the story around because it was hard for me to believe at the time that a lot of bad things could happen totally unprovoked and that I was just a good person who a lot of crappy things had happened to. It lowered my self esteem so much that I felt like I really didn't deserve to be happy. I got rid of everything that was good in my life and left myself with nothing. When I left my therapist was a breakthrough for me, because I left because it wasn't making me feel better. So that was the first time in about four years that I had ever done something good for myself. That's when I realized that none of the things that were making me depressed were my fault. Then I was at peace with myself and learned to really love myself. And once that happened, it was easy for me to put away my sword and walk away. There's no use dwelling on things that have already happened, there's no use hating anyone, especially yourself. When you have that kind of respect for yourself it's like an invisible shield, people can try to break you down as much as they want, but when you really know that you're better than that, it really doesn't do anything to you. It's pretty cool, haha. ↑
It always pissed me off because, they tried to say all of my problems were my fault. Like V I over analize everything, so the way I looked at it was, Yes the problems were my problems and It was my fault I let them get to me so much, noone should make me depressed, insecure, angry or anything, for that matter. I as a indivisual should be stronger then that, but at the same time they try to force you into believeing it ALL your fault. That just makes it all worse, you have to realize yourself that it shouldnt get you so much. I am still the type of person that if you try to force me into doing something or try to force beliefs on me I will go the opisit way....It wasnt til I said screw this and took myself all the meds that I was clear headed enough to realize all of this. I am sorry that you got raped, I never had to go through anything like that, I was molested by a boyfriend who was 6 years older then me when I was 11, I refused to have sex until I was ready....Which I did. I am proud of myself for. I didnt have sex til I started dateing my husband. We didnt wait very long into our relationship but I felt I was ready, and he was the one I wanted to do it with....Guess I made the right decision. The guy who molested me was angry I wouldnt have sex with him so decided to try to force it when we had been drinking. He decided to do it in front of my friends (who were mostly guys) and when I couldnt get him off of me I yelled for help, (which was about 20ft away) and they kicked his ass. I really didnt know for years if they killed him or what, because that was the last time I saw him til I was 17. He came up to me and acted as if nothing had ever happend. In the neiborhood I grew up in i wouldnt have been surprised if they killed him. its ironic though how things work because was the first guy that I ever REALLY kissed, and he ended up molesting me......It ironically taught me alot, and made me stick to my decision of not haveing sex til I was sure I was ready. I am 22 years old and have been with 3 guys. dh and i split for nine months and I started seeing someone else in that time. I really got to experiment and learn alot in that time too. I dateed someone else, and it turned out he had a fiance and I was "the other woman"...haha yea that was drama and ended in a T.P.O, and then i had my one night stand with a good friend of mine, who needless to say isnt my friend anymore (great guy just cant be friends after that)...So I learned to appreciate my husband alot more and he learned the same......Man life is amazeing, and puts you through hell just so you can learn ↑
Yeah I get you ladies, Im still a work in progress. One problem I have is that I'm surrounded by negativity and triggers. My mother being one major one, and she is the only support I have where I live. The thing is that I'm deeply in need of it and she gives it, but it backfires at times. What I need to be able to get to the point you guys are at is a new start. To be somewhere more positive around more positive people. People I can trust. I'm living in a town where I feel paranoid no matter what I do because of my son's grandfather being a crooked cop here, his family being everywhere, and even my own sister believes that everything in that whole situation was my fault!!! I'll get there! ↑
db- Your situation was actually pretty similar to mine. I met this guy, who I was slightly attracted to. He was that kind of mysterious type so I was pretty intrigued, but never considered a relationship with him. I hung out with him a few times and he tried to get physical a lot, but I always refused. Well, then I met my now fiance and it was love at first sight. I just had a feeling when I saw him that I was going to spend my life with him. So I hung out with him a lot. All the time really. And Tony (the guy who raped me) started getting really jealous. I was upfront with him and told him nothing would happen between us. He was really depressed when I told him, but determined to prove to me he was better than Harold. He would buy me flowers, write me poems... But I refused everything he offered. After a while he started waiting for me outside my house, following me when I went to the store or to a friends house, always trying to talk to me. I tried ignoring him without any luck, so I stupidly agreed to meet with him just to tell him to back off. And I did, but he was furious when I told him. He threw me in the back of his car, held me down and raped me. I screamed and cried as loud as I could, but no one was around to hear me. After he finished up I tried to get out of the car, but he had the stupid childlocks on. I huddled myself in the corner and cried. When he saw me crying, he started crying too. I guess when you're not raping someone tears mean more? Anyway, he said he was sorry, that he loved me, and that he would leave me alone. He was good to his word, drove me home and the second I got out of his car I told my mom, who called the police. Unfortunately him leaving me alone worked almost too well. I didn't know his last name, his phone number, where he lived, how to reach him, or even anyone else who knew him. It was almost like he was being careful the information he told me, like he was planning it the whole time. V9653- I support you!! I think you're intelligent enough and have enough will power to get anywhere you want in life. You've already proven yourself to be a strong woman, all you need is a step in the right direction. ↑
DB!! I feel I need to ask your permission for this.. lol.. well my husband was on the forum here looking at everyones childrens names and such. And he saw you named your son Dante. He said "wow, I love that name... " and now he's listed it as one of the names for if we have a boy. >< Would you mind if we used it?? ↑
