We had the best relationship. She is the most amazing woman that i have ever met, and I love here more than ANYTHING. However, we found out about a month ago that she's pregnant. I knew something was wrong b/c she went from being loving, affectionate and caring, to having nothing for me. It's as if all of her love for me died, and it's killing me inside. I try and be there for her, but she simply doesn't want me around, and it hurts terribly. I recently went on a vacation w/ her and her family, and we got in such an argument that she told me she wanted me out. She made me leave a family vacation in which I went with her family. I love this woman more than anything, and can't wait to be the father of her child, but I don't know if I can handle the hurt I feel on the inside anymore. This is breaking my heart, and I am a complete disaster. All I hear is the hormones, the hormones, the hormones. Can pregnancy really be this difficult? What can I do? I am completely lost. ↓
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Name: Rob | Date: Mar 28th, 2006 5:13 AM
I think it can be that difficult. Once my gf was pregnant she didnt really have time for me anymore and spent most of her time with her friends, she didnt want to spend any time with me. We did split up. But later on in her pregnancy she started talking to me more and we got on a lot better and ended up getting back together. After our daughter was born she went off the rails with PPD and that was a nightmare. I think hormones can do crazy things! My gf couldnt bond with our daughter and she ended up hitting me and I had to throw her out. But she got help and we are back together now and shes great with our little girl. Was your baby planned? She may be feeling scared of becoming a mother, and with you being the closest to her, lashing out at you. I think the only way to sort things out is to sit her down and talk everything through, from how she feels about the pregnancy, to why shes lashing out at you so much. Sorry I cant be much help, its difficult cos everyones different and has their own way of dealing with things. Just to know you're not the only one! ↑
Name: Italianhuney | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 1:47 PM
For me being a pregnant woman... YES... it's hormones, hormones, hormones... trust me... don't worry about it.. they will eventually go away especially since she's in her first trimester. My poor bf feels just like you in fact I thought this was like a secret post of his lol. He always asks what can he do for me... HONESTLY... all i want for him is to listen to how i feel and not get mad, if I want to be alone for a couple hours and take a nap... LET ME! If I want to go shopping alone... LET ME! Alone time is a big must during pregnancy... to me at least... and if you guys are fighting... try your best to be the good person and end it..... it's stressful enough being pregnant!!!!!!!! ↑
Name: stephgts | Date: Apr 17th, 2006 7:14 AM
My boyfriend left me because of my hormones. He pretty much thought I was lying when I would tell him that I was upset because of my hormones raging. He thought it was all just ME. He told me that I was crazy, told everyone around me that I was crazy. I got on medication because I was so worried that everyone would hate me and now I"m a lot better. Mind you, I never did anything horrible. I got snappy with him for not bringing home things that I wanted from the store, or the wrong things. I got angry because he wouldn't call when he was going to be late. Pregnant women are very needy. Whether they need you there, or they need alone time, they definitely need what they need.
Just please remember that, however unreasonable she might seem, she really does love you...even if she's telling you that she doesn't right now. Hormones can make your whole attitude do a complete 180. Just be sweet to her and if it gets really bad, maybe she should talk to her doc about methods of controlling her emotions. ↑
Name: Ducky | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 5:37 AM
When I was pregnant I was the same way. Im pretty sure it was because I didn't know if I wanted to be with my boyfriend. But he did every thing he could for and didn't complain at all. When I would get mad at something (usually some thing little) he would let me yell and yell and when I was done he would talk it out with me. He never started any fights and tried to avoid them as best he could. I ended up staying around and we are very happy with our 1 month old son. Try and be there for her as much as possible. Try talking about the baby and see what her reaction is. Talk about baby clothes and baby information. If she doesn't seem to be happy with that then try to talk to her about something else. If she doesn't want to talk to you at all then ask her if there is any thing she would like you to do and just leave her alone. Put her above you for a while and see where that gets you. A pregnant woman always wants to know that her man cares and is excited about the baby. If there seems to be no way of getting to her you can try one last thing that usually works. Take her shopping and walk around with her. Just you and her. You can shop for baby things or even maternity out fits. What ever you do make the whole thing about her. Good luck. ↑
Name: LollyM | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 6:37 AM
Pregnancy hormones can be so hard for a couple to endure! Try to hang in there, she may be scared and even feeling resentful if it wasn't planned. Try talking to her about it and tell her how you're feeling. I had to realize that my hormones weren't only affecting me, but my fiance as well. He tries so hard to be patent with them still ( im 24 weeks now) but I am much better about realizing when I am having a mood swing and try not to be so hard on him. I used to cry and carry on in the middle of the night when I was in my first months, I would blame him for everything and I felt so bad when I realized what I was doing, but it took him confronting me about the hormone problem for me to see it. Pregnant women can't help but feel kind of self centered early on because after all, they hurt and are sick and as much as their significant other tries to sympathize, he is a man and can not truly know how she feels. In a way, being pregnant lets a girl let out all kinds of emotions because she has an excuse to do it now. If your relationship was good before, it will likely be good again, it will take patience. Just talk to her, maybe try romance even, and remind her of how much you love her and are looking forward to being a dad. Good luck! Remember, her hormones will calm down at some point so just be there for her, but give her space if she needs it. ↑
Name: Cynth | Date: May 15th, 2006 11:49 PM
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I myself can say it is true about the hormones...I am not pregnant anymore, but a week ago I was ten 1/2 weeks (I lost it). I didn't really know I was pregnant, cuz I'm usually late. What I can tell you about you is that I lost my husband because of my crazy hormones. I think back and remember how I was treating him and omg, I would never say those means things to him now, I kicked him out of our house and now we are separated. I feel so sorry and try to explain to him that I could not control myself. Honestly I look back and I was a bitch, picking at him for every little thing, stuff that really didn't bother me before. I felt so tired, I felt like I hated him, I had that thought constantly in my mind. And the truth is that I love him and I want to be with him more than anything. We already have a daughter together, we've only been married 3 years, and we have had our problems, but most of them were always because of him. All I can tell you is that hopefully her love and yours is strong enough to get back together when the baby comes. I don't know how long it will be before the hormones stop making her decide things she probably (like me) never really wanted. Reading your story makes me understand how my husband felt and I don't know what to do to make him come back. The worst part is that we do love eachother, we've seen eachother and been together, but he won't come back cuz I really hurt him with my words (real mean and evil) he is afraid of me kicking him out again and for him not to have a place to go. It's really bad. Hopefully she won't realize too late what she is doing, it's hard to even aproach a woman in this condition and try to be understanding. Like I said maybe your love (which does seem to be strong) will overcome this and at least you have some knowledge now. Good Luck! ↑
Name: Mikinho | Date: May 16th, 2006 6:56 PM
Yeah this has definitely been the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life, and more importantly I think this pregnancy has been a test of love. Unfortunately, on my part, our love and relationship couldn't withstand the heartache. I miss her, and love her more than I ever thought possible. Sometimes I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. But there's nothing I can do about any of this. She says it's all my fault, and it was I who didn't try. It's all too sad. We had such a future together. Now all I can do is stay positive, and be there for my child. ↑
Name: MissTessa | Date: May 20th, 2006 3:42 PM
I'm 25 weeks pregnant, and everyting I read says I should feel so much better. I don't. I know what your going through, I did the same thing to Stu. I had no idea I was pregnant, and our relationship headed sour. We found out and he was happy, and I was happy and scared. Now I feel like my body is falling apart, I have to keep up this appearance for family (especially soon to be family), I lost my job early on and sit at home alone all day. I don't really have friends that have kids, and my closest friend is getting married 2 weeks aftr my due date so she's wrapped up being bridezilla. I take it all out on Stu. Even while I'm upset and crying I know I'm being stupid and hormonal. I can't stop for some reason. He's lost at what to do. He tells me that he's just begin a guy about it. It crushes me. She'll come around. Make sure she knows you want to be with HER more than anything, and this baby is one of those extra bonuses tht come with the great package now. Let her know that it won't change the love you have for her in a bad way, but for the better. SHe's probally freaking out about all the changes to her life. ↑
Name: jrcreations | Date: May 30th, 2006 5:41 PM
Women go through a lot during pregnancy, men do too (the good ones), everyone will go through changes, and I am sure she don't hate you. Remember it's nether her or your fault about the pregnancy. It's a wonderful thing, a life, that you produced. Wait it out, I never been in this situation, (hopefully I will), and I can only go by what I have been told. It's a special thing, life is, not everyone has the priveledge, keep that in thought. I wish you the best of luck, and terribly sorry I couldn't help you in anyway. ↑
Name: electronicandy | Date: May 31st, 2006 5:42 AM
Not sure if you still check this question, but I am on my second pregnancy, and I have to tell you, it most likely IS hormones. It really messes with your head, and I know you probably don't deserve the treatment you get sometimes from her, and you don't have to just accept it, but do try to understand it. Now, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I suddenly lost all feeling for my boyfriend. I felt like I didn't want him in my life at all. I actually left him. After I had the baby, and my hormones went back to normal and stabilized.... I realized that I had made a horrible decision. I begged for him back, but he was so hurt that it really took us a LONG time to get on track again. Anyway, I'm just trying to tell you that I don't know how she will react to what's going on with her, but you are sure to have some tough times. I'm sure she really does love you alot, but she's confused. ↑
Name: Mikinho | Date: May 31st, 2006 1:40 PM
Yeah, well we split up about 2 months ago. I still try and show her that I love her, and can't wait for our baby, but unfortunately she hates me. We had a few disagreements in our relationship from time time, and we both made some minor mistakes, but I never did anything to deserve this. All I can do is take care of me until the baby is born. There's nothing left in me that can believe she does, or ever did, care for me. After all that's been said and done, it's just too much for me to deal with. But I do greatly appreciate all of your replies to my post. It does give me a linger of hope. ↑
Name: p43rw | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 5:18 PM
Well my friend i myself dont know what else to do, the first 3 months she was so loving and caring then suddenly it started she hates me she doesn't love me anymore she packed up everything and left, now she doesn't even wanna tell me how the baby is doing she is in her 6 to 7 month is that normal? she is friendly to everybody except me..... and i love her like my life , so what should i do i dunno ↑
Name: poppy | Date: Aug 15th, 2006 7:27 AM
I hope it's hormones. I say that because I am hoping my changed feelings towards my partner is hormonal. We tried for 6 months for this baby and were both really pleased when we found out I was pregnant. Things were going fine until end of week 7, then almost overnight I went off my partner. I am now 10 and half weeks pregnant and we are having problems. I can't bear for him to even hold my hand and I am pleased during the day when he is at work and I have some space. I cannot understand myself, but I am struggling to like him at all and wondering if we even have a future together. i hate hurting him, but feeling so negative towards him is hurtung me too.....I hope I am just another hormonal woman... ↑
Name: bigpop | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 4:45 PM
Dude,
I'm going thru the same thing. My girl left 5 weeks ago. All her stuff is here and her mail comes to my house. But she says she doesn't want to be with me. I 'm going crazy myself. You and your girl gedt back together yet? ↑
Name: tristansdad | Date: Sep 4th, 2006 2:02 AM
Hormones affect different women in different ways, had you ever spoke about children in the past, maybe she had a set way of doing things ie:marriage then children etc.... and having become pregnant this has "broken her rules" and men will get the blame. Do her family know? What do they think of you as a person? could you talk to them about what she is putting you through?
I would say communication is the key ↑
Name: hopefull_dad | Date: Oct 15th, 2007 1:08 PM
Hi there did any of you have any positive outcomes in your relationships, mainly polly and Mikinho, i am going throuhg the same and would like to know how your situations turned out
Thanks ↑
Name: somefungus | Date: Nov 2nd, 2007 12:53 AM
Hey bro i am going through that same thing you are right now, my girl is happy with everyone else and she absolutely hates me right now, and it is eating me up just as much. we just got a new apt together and she is living with her mom right now because she needs her space from me. it hurts a lot she won't call me or even talk to me right now and we had a strong relationship b4 she got pregnant. that best advice is just work as much as you can, call her everynow and again and make sure she is ok but just stay out of her way. ↑
Name: e. l. d. | Date: Mar 4th, 2008 4:29 PM
My girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant and i've only known her for 9 weeks. It was a shock to both of us when we found out less than 3 weeks ago and it's been difficult to deal with emotionally since. We seemed to have fun together before, but she's spoken to me only once in the last week and only communicated through texting and won't answer my phone calls. I've tried to express how I feel and how I want to make it work and that I am willing to change my life for her, but i also acted like a real jerk when she stopped talking to me because I didn't understand. Today I asked if she still considered me her boyfriend and was relieved to hear "yes i just needed space". Trust me it kills going through this and I think I've learned a lot about myself the last couple days. Reading these have helped. Any advice on helping me function as a human being in the mean time? ↑
Name: brd8808 | Date: Mar 5th, 2008 9:14 AM
e.l.d. My situation is similar to yours, except there is no chance for me and the mother to ever be together. This is my choice. At first I was very frustrated with the sudden change and angst that seem to be, pointed directly at me. I realize that a lot of it was hormones and fear. What I did was tell her that I was here when she needed but I would leave her be until she asked. I don't know whats up with women and text messaging I guess there's a reason why they like them so much but I ended up blocking my Babies mother from texting me because she'd say really evil things to me via text which, gets old at 3 in the morn. Anyway how I deal with it is I talk to her Family first to let them know. No matter what I'm going to be there for our child( mind you she'd kill me if she knew I did this), and I ask them to please keep me informed, luckly they were very respectful and agreed. Next I started spending more time with my friends who have children to learn what to do. This also keeps the coming child a reality which can get hard when your seperated from the mother. Now she's about 22 weeks we found out it is a girl, which is what she wanted so she seems to have calm down somewhat. Your situation will probably get better quicker than mine because I my b.m. was pretty messed up before I got her pregnant. But ( I hate hearing this but it's true) just be patient let her be because she's scared and worring about her relationship with you is probably just added stress. I know it's instinct to want to help, but really just assuring her your there for the kid, and space is all the help you can give right now. Also when she gets angry at you, drop the conversation as soon as it starts, just agree with her, or get ready for a long night. Rationality and sanity appear to go on vacation especially during the first 20 weeks or so. Luckly I have a few good friends who let me vent to them about my situation, and I know it never leaves the room. If you dont have that with anyone I'd suggest a clergyman or a counsler, because you will get pissed at times and you definatly don't want her to see that. I have the temperment of a bo tree, and there have been times in the last months where I beleive I could of chewed nails I was so angry.
Other than these things i'd say just keep doing what you need to prepare for fatherhood. Focus on finaces and the removal of any vises you may have that you don't when the kid comes. Hope This helps. Good luck to ya bro. ↑
Name: e. l. d. | Date: Mar 5th, 2008 11:10 AM
Well I just found out today through a good friend of mine that there's a chance it's not mine. Apparently she was dating someone right before we met. This is a question I asked her that was weighing on me within a few days of when we found out because we hadn't been together that long. She told me that was not a possibility and proceeded to be pretty upset I asked that question. At this point I'm not going to mention anything to her, but just wait and see. If she never brings it up I'm eventually going to need to know myself. I'm not sure what to do now?? Wait until the baby is born to get a paternity test or bring up the fact that I know what I know any sooner? ↑
Name: brd8808 | Date: Mar 5th, 2008 1:25 PM
I personally would never sign a birth certificate for any child with out a paternity test, i know too many guys that have been played for suckers that way and are stuck supporting someone else's child. Medicare will pay for the test if you don't sign. how to go about sharing this news takes tact. I'm a pretty upfront person so I just told her I didn't think she was a liar but there is no way for me to be sure without the test. I put it off on myself saying i'm a naturally mistrusting person, I hadn't known her long, and I been screwed over a lot blah blah blah. My b.m. took it quite well but this was as soon as we found out, and she hadn't started freaking out yet. Still I'd be up front with what you know and how you feel now. she may get pissed but it will give her more time to get over it before the kid comes. Thats just my opinion though i'm no expert but I always try to take care of hard situations as soon as possiable. Keep in mind the worse she handles it the more likely she is unsure herself, so the more reason for the test. Since I told My b.m. the first time it hasn't even been brought up again it's just a given. ↑
Name: Gavino | Date: Jul 7th, 2008 5:28 PM
Registered because I just wanted to thank all the women in here for their honest input. My girlfriend is struggling to find anything to like about me at the moment - now I know it's normal - according to the books she's supposed to be very romantic about now. She's not and my heart is breaking, but I can wait for her now I know it's not out of the ordinary. Thanks ladies. ↑
Name: t2k888b8rd | Date: Aug 1st, 2008 11:42 AM
Wow! I'm so glad I found this site! I'm 1mnth preg and I've been feeling soooo confused! My fiance and I had plans to get married b/4 our unexpected preg, now I'm just all over the place on how I feel. I had this idea of how my life was to be.... expericnce life as married couple then have baby, cuz the baby will change everything....I'm afraid the baby will change our relationship in negative way. So many emotions! Thank you everyone for your input! Now, I feel like this is normal, and I'm not as crazy as thought I was, haha. Thx! ↑
