So i have a little girl,will be 2 next month. She is the joy of my life!
How she came into this world is not so great. It my first night with alcohol and i had too much. My boyfriend at the time came over and we were kissing he started to go further than i wanted, altho i told him no he continued, and well you can guess what happened against my will. End of the month came and i knew i was pregnant. I was only 15. I soon got the courage to leave him. Went through my pregnancy and delivery without him.
Because i had government assistance(not welfare, only a medical card for what my insurance wouldnt cover) i had to fill out child support papers so the state could get their money back!
The boy is in the army and is only forced to pay 10 dollars a month. He has only paid once and it was a year after the court had settled the matter so I got a check of 120 dollars for an entire years worth of child support...Lame i know!
He talks to his underage girlfriend about Stephanie(my daughter) all the time. So to everyone it looks like he cares about her and everything, and yet can't do the simpilsts of things like pay 10 dollars to buy a pack of cheapie pull ups?
I get bitched at by people who talk to him and take his side, and because i am 2 hrs away i cannot defend myself or our situation. So i always look like the bad guy!
I mean in the bio fathers household there are 2 convicted sex offenders of minors...yet NO ONE takes that into consideration and think that i should allow my daughter at that house without me being present...Tell me i'm not crazy for thinking that is a bad idea?!?!?!
I want him to sign his rights off because my fiance wants to adopt my little girl as soon as possible and as smoothly as possible...
In the state of Illinois a Step parent cannot even attempt to adopt the child until after a year of marriage. I am getting married next month to a wonderful guy that had taken on the role of Daddy so wonderfully!
I guess there wasnt a question here just a vent. But feel free to give me whatever advice you may have or if you have been in a similar situation!
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Name: kay101 | Date: May 25th, 2008 5:18 PM
My question is....who in the HELL decided your child support agreement? Do you work? When I went to court 4 years ago I was working and my daughter's father was ordered 300 a month and he had just joined the army. His now second wife is divorcing him and he has to pay 430 a month for her plus half of daycare. Somebody has screwed you horribly in that department my dear. You may want to refile through the court if you need the money. I've been with my husband since I was 5 months pregnant with my daughter and he'd adopt her in a heartbeat. Daddy dearest however won't sign his rights over even though he doesn't call or visit. It sucks but you have to learn to make the best of the situation. ↑
Name: kay101 | Date: May 25th, 2008 5:19 PM
I meant he has to pay 430 a month and half of daycare for his other daughter.....not his wife haha ↑
Name: preggo_momma | Date: May 25th, 2008 7:01 PM
I do not know the name of the lawyer dude that set all this up. At the time of the court date(jan 07) the bio dad hasn't gone into the army yet and they said that when he did that they would raise the amount that he was supposed to pay. Well he is going off to another army summer thing this year and they still have not raised the amount. I got a letter last month but it was saying is that they are going to be taking the 10 dollars out of his army checks before he even gets it...WHOOPIDY DOO! Ten Fing Dollars....it'll cost more to make the check and mail it to me then 10 dollars.
When my hubby goes to adopt her i will make sure the court strips his rights from him or that i will pursure MORE child support and get it so high that his only choice is to back out :D
i'm evil i know..but its in my daughters best interest.... ↑
Name: preggo_momma | Date: May 25th, 2008 7:03 PM
And yes i do work. Now..but its only minimun wage. which is 7.50 here in illinois which LUCKILY! Next month it will be going up a dollar. But the price of everything else is going up too >.< ↑
Name: COLLEEN084 | Date: May 27th, 2008 9:18 AM
Hey preggo mama, I'm glad to hear you are going to be getting married to a great man...but just keep in mind you must take care of yourself too! I just mean don't forget to finish school and possibly continue on if you can. That way you will not be stuck at minimum wage the rest of your life! So are you pregnant again now w/ your fiance's child? ↑
Name: preggo_momma | Date: May 27th, 2008 3:50 PM
Well, i have already finished high school, i graduated a year early. And as for college i don't know what i want to do. I was thinking of applying to be a Hot Topic model. Everyone says i am photogenic and that i just make gothic type pictures beautiful. So thats a goal.
And no i am not pregnant at the moment. I thought i was last month. ↑
Name: COLLEEN084 | Date: May 28th, 2008 9:16 AM
good to hear you're all done with high school...college can wait for now until you decide what you'd really like to go for...otherwise you'll just end up wasting time and money. i'm glad you clarified on the being preggo part b/c you had me a little confused there. ↑
Name: preggo_momma | Date: May 28th, 2008 12:06 PM
Yea..my name is just my email. I made it when i was pregnant with my little girl. I just use it when i sign up on things that need a log in name... ↑
Name: WeeJulz | Date: Jun 6th, 2008 8:58 PM
Hey, I dunno much about the child support in the US but in the UK its something stupid like £5 a week!! So i completely sympathise with u on that front! Take Kay101's advice and get it checked out tho cos if thats what she got then there def is something fishy going on!!
As for not sending your daughter to his house where there are sex offenders, fair play to u, i would feel dodgy about that as well!
And even if the bio father doesnt sign off the rights, the whole adoption is just for show on paper. Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy.
Good luck to you both!
xx ↑
Name: Teddyfinch | Date: Jun 7th, 2008 7:30 AM
yeah but in the UK don't you get govt assistance anyway if you have a child? ↑
Name: Teddyfinch | Date: Jun 7th, 2008 7:31 AM
preggo: don't let anyone gripe at you. next time they try, tell them to ask him how much he pays to help support this daughter he pretends to care so much about. it would be funny to see what he says and offer proof of his lies when you know that he will lie to them. don't let him get away with it. ↑
Name: preggo_momma | Date: Jun 11th, 2008 6:54 PM
I know...it horrible and i got worse news..about 2 weeks ago i got a child support check...for NINE FREAKING CENTS...the paper and ink cost more than that!!! I was so mad...and then this girl who got mad at me because she doesnt like my bff, and she went on how about im a slut(she chose to become a mother at 16)and that she hopes the bio dad pushes for custody and that he would be a better parent than me. I work almost every day, my fiance works everyday. We do what we have to support our family. The bio dad got MY daughters name tattooed on his back, something that would've cost about 200 dollars and then i get a 9 cent check..how in the hell is this fair?!?!?!! I got bitched at by the same chick for having three tattoo's, all of which are small and only cost about 130 total, and i only got them when i had extra money to spare... The bio dad is off to another summer of basic training stuff for the military, maybe i'll get be gettin a little bit more money...i doubt it tho...stupid bastard and a bunch of other words i probably shouldnt say on here... ↑
