Question: Well I am 3 months pregnant ( I'm 21 ) and my sister is 6 months pregnant ( shes the youngest and is 17 ) this is my issue... My parents bought a new house which is a 4 bedroom..they bought it before I found out I was pregnant..I said the room that my mom picked out for me was fine because it seemed alright and was away from every one else ( I'm moving back home because I need time to destress). And my sister was going to have her own room and the baby was going to have her own room. First I was a little ticked that my sisters room was bigger than mine but I got over it. Well I found out I was pregnant at 1 month and then after 2 months I told my mom..she was fine with it and I was under the impression that my sister and my babies were going to share the room...well aparently not. I was on the phone with my mom today when all of a suden she said " I hope the baby's crib will fit in your room" ( my room is pretty tiny and doesn't even have a closet ). And I was thinking wtf...so I said " uh...wasn't our babies going to share that big room? ( oh yea my sister's baby room is bigger than my room ) and my mom was like " the room is too far away from your room..how would you hear the baby cry, even if you have a monitor then you wouldnt know the difference between your sisters baby or yours". well by now I'm a little ticked off because I just don't think its fair. Then I suggested that my sister share her room with the baby and then keep that one room as a spare until the babies are big enough to have their own rooms to share. Well that totaly pissed off my mom because she thought I was accusing her of picking favorites then put the guilt trip on me saying shes so stressed out and I'm making her misrible and now shes not excited to move into the new house and yada yada...I wasn't trying to piss her off I was just stating a point cause it is totaly unfair. Also my parents are making me pay rent and not my sister....she wont even pitch in for food. I also just found out a year ago that my father isnt my biological father which he is to my sister but hes been there since I was 9 months old...I think my sister knows because she always says shit like well you dont have to worry about dads side of the family for genes....also I know she will get a kick out of this whole situation with her having a nice big room and me having this tiny room...she will yell at me and treat me like shit...she is pretty controlling and if things don't go her way she snaps.... I just need advice on this whole thing...just your thoughts from mothers point of views. ? ↓
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Name: lunamoo | Date: Jun 21st, 2008 3:49 AM
Well you mom is going to be raising her grand children in her house....so things are going to be the way she says....as tough as it sounds... I think it is fair your mom to charge you some rent--ask her if she can put into a bank account for your baby--, maybe she won't charge you for babysitting...It is a coincidence both of you are single and pregnant and living at home? ↑
Name: Bilmes123 | Date: Jun 21st, 2008 8:45 AM
Well the rent isn't the issue...well it kind of is because my parents are not going to be charging my sister rent. she has a job and more money saved up than me. And the fact that her baby gets its own room and doesn't have to share a room with my sister. Her room is also going to be bigger than mine. I was just saying I think it would be fair if she shared her room aswell. I don't think its fair that I'm going to share my room which is cramped for space and doesn't have a closet or anything and she gets to be spoiled and basicly have two rooms. Shouldn't my mom try to do things to make things fair? And the rent money is going twords helping them pay their morgage...not towards saving money for my baby. ↑
Name: 123abc | Date: Jun 21st, 2008 1:21 PM
ok, well, your sister is still a minor, so technically your parents HAVE to take care of her. you are an adult and your parents are letting you come back to their house after you had already left. Also, once your baby is born, trust me, you will not want to be away from ur child. you will want your baby close to you, especially if you are breastfeeding. You're going to be up every couple of hours, do you really wanna be going and having to get up and leave your room every few hours? not only that, I would rather have my baby close to me, then having him sleep in another room.. My son turned one and I had a hard time putting him in his own room. hope everything works for you ↑
Name: iona | Date: Jun 21st, 2008 1:39 PM
Good point 123, you mom is under no obligation to support you so sadly enough you have to bite the bullet and do it the way she wants. As lunamoo asked, why are both you and your sister at home single and pregnant? Hope you don't mind the question. Also can you IMAGINE the financial and physical stress you both are putting your parents through. Talk about a double whammy! Hats off to your mom. ↑
Name: Bilmes123 | Date: Jun 21st, 2008 10:33 PM
Well...my sister has been sleeping around since she was 14 and took advantage of her then virgin bf before pressuring him to have sex..she wasn't on the pill and they didn't use condoms. She also wanted to have a baby and does not seem the least worried about anything. As for me, I was on the pill but it obviously did not work, and I am worried shitless about all this. I honestly don't care about paying rent or having the child in my room with me. I was just stating that my sisters room is way bigger than mine, and her baby's room is bigger than mine and that it would be fair that she share her room with the baby as well and that when they get older they can share that one spare room. Also I don't want to be paying rent when I know she will act like she owns the place, boss me around, yell at me and treat me like crap. She is constantly screaming at me and no its not just the hormones..its been like this since we were kids when she would hit me...then run to my mom fake crying saying I hit her..then when my mom went to go yell at me and I told her my side of the story my mom wouldn't listen and ground me. You guys don't know my sister..she will shove this in my face saying shes the favorite and that I am stuck in a small room with no space. She also wont help around the house with cleaning and stuff. I don't care that my sister is a minor...she needs to learn to do things on her own and not cry to mommy all the time. One time I got to have the last chicken soup and my sister poured it all over my lap...and did not get introuble for it. She is always verbally abusing me and just saying nasty stuff too me that makes me really depressed. One time I went to go visit my mom and was going to tell her the news of me being pregnant, I told my sister that I was going to do it and she freaked on me, streaming at me not to then told me to leave and never come back. She forbid me not to tell my mom until my dad came back from texas because she thinks of my mom as weak and would have a mental break down...well I finaly told my mom after not being able to take my sister treating me like shit any more and my mom was upset that I did not tell her sooner...when I told her that my sister threatend me she didn't belive me. My mom is blind to all of this and has been for many years. I know I will not be living in that house for long. I will prob move to another city so I can just get away....even yet my parents told me if I have a girl I have to name her after my grandma and my sister was my grandmas favorite and my grandmas snubed me. Its part of our religion to name your child after some one who has died in the family....I'm just stressed...I was able to handle it before but now that I am pregnant it has just gotten worse...I even wrote in to Dr Phil.....I'm just at my whits end. ↑
Name: 123abc | Date: Jun 22nd, 2008 10:18 PM
after reading ur post, i gotta say you're brave for even wanting to move into that crazy house. I couldn't live with my parents and it wasn't nowhere even close to what you are going through.. mine were very strict, to the point where I was an adult and I couldn't even go to the mall or stay at home and watch tv past 10 pm.. My advice to you is to move out. Get help from the government if you have to as you know that this is temporary. It is not good for you to be stressed and carrying a child. The baby will feel this. Your sister sounds like an evil little girl that has gotten her way too many times, but unfortunatelly it is not up to you to deal with her. The other thing I may suggest (not sure if you're working now or not) but since you're only 3 months pregnant), work as much as you can, save your money for now and find your own place. Do you reall want your sister to mistreat your baby as well as she has been mistreating you? also, i'm wondering, you're 21 and ur sister is 17. how is she able to boss you around? if she assaults you tell her you'll call the cops on her and do it. that's not right. she needs to be taught a lesson and you need to stand up for yourself. I'm sure your mom sees everything that's going on, but like you said, she is either too weak or doesn't have the energy to deal with her. also, as for your baby, name him/her whatever you want. if you wish to respect their wishes, maybe give your baby their middle name, but certainly make your own decision as for the baby name. Good luck, i'm here if u need to talk. ↑
Name: Bilmes123 | Date: Jun 23rd, 2008 7:20 AM
well everytime i brought up the fact that my sister was mistreating me my mom ignored it or turned it around saying that she is stressed out and wishes that my sister and i would get along...would never talk to her about anything...but I am moving in and my room is far away from the others so it will be like I have my own place...but I know eventualy and hopefully soon i will. My friend was suggesting I find a place with her, she said shes used to babies since shes been around them all her life and has been babysitting pretty much most of the time. its funny cause my sister acts like my grandma, and everyone in the family outside of ours hated her....well so did the wifes because she did not think that they were good enough for my uncle and dad. and my sister gets her temper from my grandma and dad....my dads isnt bad, he just yells sometimes, but with my sister having the two put togher...is like a tornado lol. ↑
