Still bf'ing an 18 month old. Getting alot of flack for it.
Name: Kristin72 | Date: Jun 11th, 2008 12:24 PM
My dh wants me to stop bf'ing as he says my lo is way too old to be doing so. I must admit she loves the boob. Goes to sleep by the boob and still does not sleep through the night (it's crazy) I know the bf'ing is such a good thing and she seems to be thriving from it. But why do people look at you in disbelief when you continue to do the best thing for your lo. I do not give into the pressure. But was wondering what others thought about bf'ing until the lo is 2. That is my goal..unless she weans herself..which I doubt very much will happen. I have no idea how to wean either. She does not drink cows milk very much but will take it (very little if I mix it with chocolate milk) and she seems very attached to the boob. I am ttc now. I do get regular af's but have not become pregnant in 5 months of trying. I did fall pregnant when lo was 9 months but that ended in an ectopic. Anyway that is another story in itself. But anyone else out ther stil bf beyond 18 months. How is it going for you? What are your plans for weaing? How do you deal with the pressure of others wanting you to wean? Thanks ↓
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Name: Kiersten | Date: Jun 11th, 2008 3:07 PM
Personally, I only plan on bfing for a year. I think this is something you and your dh should decide together, although your dd may solve things for you and wean herself if you fall pregnant. I've heard it can really alter the supply and taste of the milk when you're pregnant and nursing, so who knows? Good luck ttc and with your decision. Just remember that no matter what advice you get, it's YOUR guys' decision. Some moms feel 18 months is way too long while others go for 4 years. Couldn't pay me to do that! Our thinking in this was after a year ds can have cow's milk and it really bothers (probably not the right word I'm looking for-more like "really?!") us to see older kids run up to their moms and root around like they're newborns. Honestly, we're having supply issues right now so I'll just be happy if I make it to a year. As to how I'll deal with pressure...I'll say what I say about anything else we get "advice" on. "Thank you, I appreciate your concern and input. My husband and I are doing our best raising our child and are making what we believe to be the wisest decisions for him". Depending on who's offering the advice I may tell them that when they go through hours and hours of labor and have another one, they'll have the chance to do what they think is best with THEIR kid. :-) You'll always get pressure from folks, even though most have the best intention at heart. So sorry about your loss. I hope you guys are able to get pregnant again soon and have a healthy, hearty baby! ↑
Name: mjvdec01 | Date: Jun 11th, 2008 4:42 PM
I think that once the child is old enough to start asking for the "boob", then it is probably time to wean. My opinion may not be the most popular, but it is just that, my opinion. ↑
Name: E586467 | Date: Jun 11th, 2008 9:04 PM
Kristin72 I commend you for breastfeeding for so long. My ds has just turned 1 & I am 10wks preg with #3 so I will have to stop soon as I am just toooo tired :( (plus he has become fussy & only wants to feed 1-2 times a day). The world health organisation (WHO) recommends breastfeeding until 2yrs as research has shown that the health benefits for those that are bf for that long are quite significant. I'm sure if you google it you will be able to find all the recent data. I understand where mjvdec01 is coming from about being too old for boob if they're asking for it, but my 1yr old has been asking for it at 10mths calling it 'boo' & there was NO way I was stopping just because he started asking for it. Anyway only you & your baby no when it is right for you to stop, so don't feel pressured just because others feel uncomfortable with your decision. That said I would try to wean her off the night feeds as there is no reason why you should be loosing sleep when she is physically capable of sleeping through the night. When we were weaning ds of night feeds, hubby (& only hubby so he didn't smell the milk) would get up & give him a drink of water, & he soon learned that it wasn't worth the effort of waking up as he ONLY got water & mum WASN'T coming in. ↑
Name: Kristin72 | Date: Jun 12th, 2008 1:10 PM
Thanks for your responses ladies. Kiersten, I think it is great that you are bf for a year congrats on that. Unlike you I don't think bf is something that a dh should or should not decide for me. I think it is more of something he should support no matter which way you decide to go. Most women only nurse for a year because they go back to work at 1 yr in Canada. ( I live in CAnada)In th U.S. they often do not last the full year as it is often difficult to pump an supply diminishes...and many have to return to work after 3 months. I NEVER thought I would be nursing this long. It just seems completely natural and as E586467 mention (and thank you for that) the world health organization does recommend 2 years for numerous benefits to mother and child. Not only that the babies immune system is not fully developed until they are 2. By giving your lo cows milk or other options I can not see how that is better. Thank goodness nursing is a choice. If a child is able to ask for the boob I think there is nothing wrong with that either. mjvdec I appreciate your opinion and you're right that it is your opinion but for me it is more hurtful as I am only trying to do the best thing. My lo has been signing for the boob since she was7- 8 months. She has also said "booby" since 9 months. I have never been a public nurser..so I don't see how this is bothering anyone except maybe my dh whom it seems to bother the most. I also get alot of flack when I admit to my "dirty little secret" of nursing an 18 month old to my inlaws and my dh's brothers wife. E586467~thanks again for your response..I guess I was looking for support more than anything. I am aware of the water offering thr the night..I think I may start that very soon. Thanks again ladies. ↑
Name: Kiersten | Date: Jun 12th, 2008 1:42 PM
Kristin, I guess I didn't word that right. When I said that I thought you and dh should decide together I just meant that bfing affects everyone. My dh is happy that I'm nursing-it's healthy for ds and is (let's face it) free. However, if the time should come when we needed to supplement, he would fully support that as well. You've already mentioned that your dh is bothered by it. Is it worth hurting your marriage over? This may end up causing stress in your home if it hasn't already. Talk with him about it and see how he feels. GL ↑
Name: rislerb | Date: Jun 12th, 2008 3:37 PM
I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are still nursing. My son is only 7 months old and I plan to nurse until he weans or is 2 years old. i agree that it is solely you and baby's decision and your dh must be able to respect and support whatever you decide. My inlaws give me flack for still nursing my 7 month old! Seriously!!!! No one in their family or mine breastfed so I am quite the anomaly! Keep it up though! Mother knows what's best! ↑
Name: cors1wfe | Date: Jun 13th, 2008 9:37 AM
My sister in law didn't wean her youngest until he was 2 years old - and the issue is the people feel uncomfortable with but since you don't too bad for them - the first time or 2 he would crawl on her lap and latch on it was weird for me but he was such a happy healthy kid that after that I was over it - I never said a word to her because it really wasn't for me to say - I know that La Leche League recommends the breast for 5 years i met a lady like that too - you have to do what you feel is best for you and your baby like Kiersten said - that's what I pretty much tell overly opinionated people like my mother in law..LOL ok thanks for sharing but this is MY baby and I will raise him/her the way I see fit....and even though they may have good intentions it's annoying when a mom gets unsolicited advice....I am due in 2 weeks with my 3rd and final baby and I plan to breastfeed as long as I possibly can it's such a wonderful experience plus I am not working right now - if I go back to work right away I may not last as it is very stressful to pump at work ..etc....but you go girl! I commend you on your decision ↑
Name: tryingx3 | Date: Jun 13th, 2008 5:00 PM
I found most people assumed I had stopped bfing and were shocked when I told them she still nursed (at 20+ months). My dd was weaned this week due to medication that I had to take - just a few days short of 21 months. It has been 3.5 days and I still want to mourn the change. I know my dd is missing it too and I am trying to spend time with her in different ways. She has been crawling into my lap to sit and patting my arm and things like that - like to say Mommy I still love you! I commend you for the commitment to your daughter and KNOW KNOW KNOW how hard and rewarding this has been for you. I NEVER thought I would nurse past 6wks, then 3months, then 6months, then 1 year and look at me now - BOO Hooing because it is over at almost 2 yrs. I do slightly feel a little "free" - like I have my body back for the first time in YEARS! :-) Best wishes! ↑
Name: K | Date: Jun 14th, 2008 3:37 PM
I think bf'ing until your dd is 2 is great. It is a special bonding time that is extremely healthy for babies and there is no need to rush it. That is the norm in pretty much every country except for the U.S. and is recommended by the World Health Organization. I planned to just try it for 3 mths, and then I planned to make it 1 yr, but I also wound up going 2 yrs as dd loved the "boo" at naptimes and bedtime. At 1 year, our pediatrician and my Doctor both said not to rush her and she would probably wean herself around 18 mths and that it was great to go that long, but she did not. About that time we started telling her "no boos at 2", to get her ready. When she hit 2, we told her it was time. At that point, she only nursed at bedtime. DH had to put her to bed with me shut away in another room for several days and a few nights we caved and I gave in, but eventually ( a week or two) she quit asking. My dh and family pushed me to wean before 2, but I just quoted the WHO and other countries and ignored them. What was best for dd came first. She was hardly ever sick in her first 2 years unlike the kids of my friends who didn't bf or quit early. As for your opinion mjvdec01, my dd was an extremely early talker her 1st word in context was "boo" and it came at 3 1/2 mths old. (dh and I never thought about the fact that we called it "the boob" all the time, until it was too late). No one was more shocked than us, but she knew what she was asking for; only said it when she was hungry and she meant it. She would grab for them when she said it too, so there was no question the word was intentional. So based on your opinion a 3 month old would have been cut off in our situation ↑
Name: dani. | Date: Jun 15th, 2008 11:22 PM
I dont have any experiance here, but am interested in it, Im 18 weeks and contenplating breat feeding. What about using a breast pump so your child stilll gets all the nutrition while getting used to a bottle? ↑
Name: Kristin72 | Date: Jun 16th, 2008 11:01 PM
Thank you! Thank You! Thank you Everyone...Thank you for all your responses..I feel so much better that I am indeed doing the best thing for my lo. Like some of the others mentioned, I NEVER EVER thought I would be nursing this long. But after dealing with a colic baby until she was 7 months old and then pressures of inlaws and the dh...to give her formula..I am so happy I was able to perservere. I also fell pregnant while bf'ing when lo was 8 months..but unfortunately it ended as it was an ectopic. I was given a chemo drug and had to refreain from breastfeeding for a week..but I pumped and dumped and was able to resume. I am currently ttc..thought the lo would have self weaned by now..but it has been a god send in many ways not only for it's health benefits..but for travelling (I will make a long story short) where we went to Cuba at 15 months and she caught a lung infection on the way there..would not eat a thing had a high fever and was VERY ill.. she would only take the boob..for the entire week I am just lucky my boobs were hygenic and were able to nourish her and comfort her when she was ill in a country where we did not have any of the comforts of home. No bottles, no expense just perfectly designed nutrition for a 15 month old. Anyway, I appreciate everyone who is supporting bf'ing..we really do need support each other..as it is the most underated BEST thing you can EVER do for your child in their lifetime. One more thing..yes, it ties you down, it can be a drag..as you lose alot of your life for the time being..but you will never regret the benefits of doing the best thing for your child. thanks again.. ↑
Name: Kristin72 | Date: Jun 16th, 2008 11:06 PM
oops correction lo had only just turned 9 months when I fell pregnant while bf with an ectopic pregnancy (she was actually 8 months at the the time when I first found out).
But by the time my hcg went back to normal...it took 7 weeks and she was 9 months. bye for now. ↑
Name: jenna32 | Date: Jun 28th, 2008 3:24 PM
i wouldn't stop if i were you, you are free to do so until they are 2 or 3 if you wish! i don't think i will make it as long as you,although i would love to!! it just gets so hard sometimes. hopefully i will continue for atleast the first year. ↑
Name: Teddyfinch | Date: Jun 29th, 2008 8:08 PM
it's really up to you. some women i have read from have bf until their child was 4 1/2 years old. as for me, i believe the child is too old to bf when they can ask for it. and i think of it as if you bf a child for so so long like the 4.5 year ladies, they go to school at 5 so what are they going to tell their classmates when they spill the beans in school. and you are feeding your LO something other than just breastmilk right? ↑
Name: Calleiah | Date: Jul 5th, 2008 4:53 PM
I nursed my dd till she was 2. It's been very difficult for both of us to stop and she tells me she still misses it (we stopped 2 months ago). Yes, I've gotten some negative feedback from people but you know what? I don't really give a rip what they think. My dd started life as a premie with severe jaundice but is extremely healthy, has only been on antibiotics a few times in her whole life, is nearly the size of a 3 year old and is just perfect. When people criticized me over my choice, all I have to say is it's MY child, Im going to continue to do whats BEST for HER, not what makes them comfortable or what they think is politically correct. In the end, you only have to answer to 2 people. You and your child. ↑
Name: Jamie | Date: Jul 6th, 2008 2:21 PM
I nursed my older daughter til she was nearly three. She still asks to nurse, but unfortunately I have to say no - I have a 4 month old who was suffering a foremilk-hindmilk imbalance because her big sister was overstimulating my supply. Don't let anyone give you a hard time about it - just ask them why they're so interested in what you do with your breasts. I also think the "when they can ask for it, they're too old for it" argument is BS. My daughter was able to ask for it (using sign language) at 11 months - should I have said, Oh, you're actually using the sign I taught you, guess you better crawl over to the fridge and pour yourself a glass of bovine breast milk, even though you're a baby human! (insert rolling eyes here) ↑
Name: E586467 | Date: Jul 6th, 2008 9:23 PM
Jamie that's sooo funny about the bovine comment. I am 13.5wks preg with #3 & am still bf my 13mth old ds, & am getting rude comments from some friends & family & I usually make a similar comment asking them 'how is it gross for him to have milk from my boob, but not gross to have milk from a COW'S'?. My husband is very supportive about my wanting to bf, but he is worried about how tired I have been. Ds only wants boob first thing in the morning now, so I think he might self wean anyway by the time bubs is born. Did you find that happened at all with your 3yr old when you were in early pregnancy? ↑
Name: mshanson | Date: Jul 20th, 2008 7:43 PM
Hey Ladies, I am still nursing my 12 month old son. I was wondering, how often do you nurse now? I went back to work part time, so on a day you're working, and a day you're at home, how often do you nurse? I had been pumping off a bottle or two (milk supply has dropped, having a hard time to pump much milk) of my milk and then sending an extra bottle of whole milk, but I was wondering about stop trying to pump and just nurse him when we're home together, and just let him have whole milk while I'm at work. I just don't want to do anything that might push him to wean... I really would like to nurse for 2 years. Any thoughts? ↑
Name: pinkbo0tlace | Date: Jul 26th, 2008 3:45 PM
hey hun! my son is 19 months & it would of been great to still be breastfeeding, but I had to get on medication when he was 4 months old that would be been secreted in the breastmilk and not good for him =( I am due in September and I think I want to breastfeed soley for 6 months than supplement until he is one. This is what I have to say, and please, don't take it the wrong way. I believe, as much as you are asking for people's advice....don't worry about it. People are always going to say something about someone. I know of people who have breastfed until the child was 2...which is their choice. Personally, I think after one it's getting a little old to be soley on the breast because I'd like my children to feed themselves, and explore different ways to eat. But, that's just MY opinion =) YOUR the child's mother! You do what you feel best!!! Good Luck!! ↑
Name: Krissy25 | Date: Jul 26th, 2008 7:57 PM
Why is it that people think they have a right to give a nursing mom their opinion about how long a baby should breastfeed, espically when their opinion wasn't asked in the first place? I mean they aren't doing the feeding so why should they care? I personally think breastfeeding for as long as mom and baby are comfortable with it is great. My dd is 1 year now and has pretty much weaned herself. I had set a goal for bfing for at least a year so i am happy we accomplished that. I would be willing to go longer but she really has no interest anymore. I can't say for sure that bfing is what caused this but my dd is super healthy. She didn't have any stomach issues. In fact i have yet to take her to the doctor for anything other then her well baby visits. I say for all you moms out there, do what is best for you and your baby and don't let anyone make you feel bad for your decision. ↑
Name: lifescholar | Date: Jul 27th, 2008 6:03 PM
Does a child ever get "too old" to benefit from perfect nutrition?? When do the benefits for you (ie. decreased risk of ovarian, endometrial, and breast cancer, osteoporosis, and type 2 diabetes) become "enough"?
I planned to nurse my son until he weaned himself. I just figured, why not? Sadly, I succumbed to the pressure to push solids with him, and to offer him cow's milk, and to not OFFER the breast, for fear of "pushing" it on him.
My son ended up weaning at 14.5 months, and I regret it SO much. I have since learned SO much more about breastfeeding. For my future kids, I will nurse them until they self-wean, which hopefully won't be before they are 5. Then, I hope to be able to pump and still provide them with breast milk.
Health, to me, is SO important. I wouldn't want to deny my children the best food available.
you just keep doing what you're doing! One day, you will reach a point where one of you (or both) doesn't want to do it anymore. Until that day comes, people need to respect your decision. ↑
Name: Teddyfinch | Date: Jul 31st, 2008 6:44 AM
lifescholar: you kind of have to have your kids eating solids at some point. and when they go to school, they can't just carry sippy cups of breastmilk with them. i think there is a point that is too far. ↑
Name: lifescholar | Date: Jul 31st, 2008 12:29 PM
But Teddyfinch, children who nurse after a year DO eat solid foods! They don't need to take breast milk to school with them, they can just nurse when they are at home. (and what's wrong with a child taking breast milk to school in a thermos rather than cow's milk or juice??)
Eventually, you get to a point where they want to eat solids, and you just can't provide enough breast milk for it to be their sole diet. But, that doesn't mean you need to stop all together! Something is still better than nothing. ↑
Name: Kristin72 | Date: Aug 16th, 2008 1:41 PM
Hi LAdies..Wow I can't beleive this thread is still alive. Thank you for all the support. I love to hear of other women banning together to support a bf child.My lo is now 20 months..and still bf'ing. I just found out yesterday I am pregnant. My doc today said he thought it was great and said his wife did the same thing and then tandem reast fed both babies. Anyway..thanks again and I will continue until she wants to wean herself. ↑
