am i the only one that doesnt care if the dads around?
Name: yours4ever | Date: Jun 15th, 2008 10:31 PM
I know this sounds bad.. but 2 days after i found out i was going to have a baby ... I told the father of my child... hes sooooo excited.. he has plans to move myself and my other son in... and he wants to take up a second job and be there 24 hours a day ... But I don't know if i want him around all the time .. if i truely want to be with him .. I know i must sound like a horid person... I mean.. I never planned on having a baby .. number one my ex and i tried to have a baby for 5 years and nodda... and all of the sudden one month relationship i get preg in the first two weeks ! lol .. sigh... any way .. hes a really nice guy ! and hes excited! I just don't know if i want him in my life.. the babys thats fine... I have been a single with my first child so long i just thing i am used to it... I will love this baby the same as my first... Is there something wrong with me? or sigh .. any help? ↓
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Name: Mercyluvbebe | Date: Jul 23rd, 2008 11:45 AM
Well everyone is entitled to feel however they want about the father of their child....and although Im not in your situation you should tell him how you feel so you can both prepare and sort out how you'll deal with everything once the baby is born.
One question though....Im distraught that my baby's dad turned out to be a cheating liar....how do you find the strength to do it all on your own? WHats your secret?? Im scared....any advice? ↑
Name: jenna32 | Date: Jul 24th, 2008 12:32 PM
you know, i am the same way. my x is a real idiot. He always lied,never showed any interest in my pregnancy,cared to read about it or ask what i was going though. As soon as the baby is coming he all of a sudden decides he wants to be there. Then when she was born he couldn't do anything right because he never bothered to learn,ask questions to the nurses,read how to take care of a baby etc. he doesn't even pay support now. If you want my advice, you probably just don't want to be with him. In a way the only reason i would want him around is because i was raised all straight and like that babies should have fathers so i feel really bad what everybody must think of me for dumping him and all.Almost everybody in my family i am closest with haven't had any divorces or if they have had kids then it was with the same man. But what else am i supposed to do stay in a miserable realationship forever? i think i should have found a better man and be 100% sure before i have a baby. i feel like so used up and everything, how many guys want to date a single mother?and where do you find the time? ↑
Name: gummibear | Date: Jul 24th, 2008 12:33 PM
No, you're not the only one. Personally, I do not believe pregnancy alone is reason to get married. If you'd get married anyway, then you could justify bumping up the date, but otherwise, it can cause more problems than not if you're not ready. Far better for your kid to see his parents get married than get divorced, no? Being a nice guy doesn't mean he's the right guy for you, or that you won't divorce him one day (or him you). You don't sound horrible to me, and instead just seem like you're being appropriately cautious. You've known the father for only a few months total, after all. I think if you take your time in the relationship and not rush it, things will become more clear. My minister advised that when we're emotional (hormonal counts!), its not the best time to make life-changing decisions. Moving in together is one of them. Give yourself time to work things out, and eventually you'll figure out what you want - to be or not to be (with the father, in a relationship). That way, if you decide to stay with him, you'll know it's for the right reasons, and your relationship will be that much stronger for it. And if you don't stay together, it's also for the right reasons, and your children (both) won't find themselves suddenly uprooted for lack of a second person around. *hugs* ↑
