Feeling Depressed And Scared
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I wish I could enjoy being pregnant. Everyone else is so excited. My husband of 7 years is so sympathetic and supportive. I have wonderful parents. Why can't I be happy? Probably because I can't stop worrying long enough. I am a hyperchondriac and so every new symptoms, instead of chalking it up to being pregnant, is a sign I'm dying. It's so pathetic and embaressing. I can't shake this depression. I'm so afraid of every aspect of pregnancy, especially doctor visits and tests. I am convinced the baby won't make it. My first appointment is in 2 weeks. My mom and my husband are coming. I'm terrified of disappointing them. There is no happiness anywhere for me. Even in sleep I have no rest, constant nightmares and panic attacks. Don't get me started on my fears for my mothering skills. Ive never felt maternal. I feel nothing for the baby now. How horrible? My poor baby. Thanks for letting me vent. I'll be telling the doctor about my feelings but I just needed to let it out.
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