My Girlfriend Is Pregnant And I Need Some Advice

43 Replies
TAG_reno - October 15

This does suck. I myself have been goin thru this same exact thing for the past 2 weeks. But the thing that sucks the most about my situation is this is a long distance relationship and it hurts to not know why things are like this.... i hate this and idk what to do....

 

snipesoldier218 - November 7

hey guys im new to this forum, my girlfriend is 10 weeks pregnant. and we were deeply in love before she got pregnant and even after we found out. but just these past few days she has turned EVERYTHING upside down. suddenly she stopped telling me she loved me, she has been acting really down, and she told me today that she doesnt want the life of a parent. she sent me a text and this is the exact message, "this is the last possible thing that i want in life and im not, nor will i ever be happy with this." that really just stabbed me in the heart. and i tried to get ehr to talk to me, maybe to let me in to understand her reasons but she wont talk to me. the scary thing is she i pro-choice. and she has a friend who is ALWAYS trying to talk her into having an abortion. im afraid that she will be pushed to the edge and go ahead with an abortion. naturally i would rather die than to let that happen, but im scared to ask her about it because it may make her snap. im praying to God that she will snap out of it soon because this is driving me up the freakin wall!!! any advice?

 

Baby_Dad - February 7

I know this is an old thread, how did everything work out for all? This really interests me because I have a similar situation: My Gf and I were together for maybe a month and she got pregnant, all was great for the first several weeks. Its our first for both, She was very excited and so was I. Now about 7wks into it, I feel like I am not wanted during this pregnancy. . . She does come over on the weekends and stays with me, but I always get the feeling like she just used me to get pregnant and to buy her/baby stuff during this time. All her friends have babies, and are not with the baby father. . . I have totally changed my att_tude and try to give/treat her as well as I can, much better than I would like to: I agree with her even when I am 100% against it, I do anything just to hope it makes her happy. . . and it seems like she usually doesn't appreciate it. We go out, I buy everything(she quit her job) then she takes everything I buy back to her house. We still talk/txt daily but I always find myself p__sing her off, no matter what it is that I say its never the right thing. . . I always apologize and agree to her "side". I don't know. . . I just really feel like she used me to get pregant and will leave me soon as the baby is due-if not before. I really want to be there for and with her, I went thru a horrible childhood with my parents being divorced and I swore I would never do this to a child. . . This past week has been hell. . .I have never felt this horrible in my life.

 

Shansen - May 4

I have to agree with you baby_dad, my girlfriend is 9 weeks i have known her for 4 years and have been dating for 8 months and for this last week all i have done is p__s her off and all i was doing was trying to help. Last night i was telling her how much i love her and how i would always be there for her and she shut e out, she rarely talks to me now and i feel like a horrible person, she is also has bipolar disorder which i heard also makes her hormones get even worse. All i know is that i still love her and i will always love her, even though i feel like complete c___p, i just look forward to the day when she is back to the way she was and when i feel loved again.

 

Dadagain - January 6

How did everything turn out for everybody? She's at 31 weeks gone, and pretty much ignored me for the past 5 months.... There are a few positive signs, but it's not looking like there will be a happy family at the end of this....

 

Dadagain - January 14

Is anybody still out there that posted to this thread before? I've got less than 2 months to go, and I've got no idea if I'm even going to be allowed in the delivery room! We were planning a family and her moving in... Then about 7 weeks pregnant, she was gone. Over the next few months, we talked on the phone twice, and she said she needed space and that she loved me... Now, I can't even get her on the phone. Please somebody tell me there's hope. I don't think I did anything wrong. We've known each other for years, but were a serious couple for only 7 months before she got pregnant. We were talking marriage. I was going to propose to her right before she cut off communication.

 

KingDavid72 - January 14

Well, all I know is that sometimes when a woman is pregnant, all rationality goes out the window and no matter what you do for her, she will treat you like dirt. Her hormones are raging. Not all women are like that while they are pregnant, thank God ,but my ex fiancee was and she ended it. My advice is to just give her the space she desires. The more you try to talk to her or see her will only push her away. Outside of having s_x outside of marriage ,you did nothing wrong. I did that also with my ex fiancee by the way. So maybe as the time draws near for her to have the baby, she will ask you to be with her. Just begin to prepare yourself for that. Not sure if you're a praying man but you will want to pray to God about this and then take time to listen to what He has to say. I know it's hard not to stress over this but if you can't change anything physically, then just pray about it and leave it in God's hands and trust Him. I hope this helps because I do know what you're going through because I have been there and have gained wisdom from my mistakes. God bless.

 

Dadagain - January 14

KingDavid72... Thank you for your response. I'm sorry to hear your fiance broke it off. How did things go for the baby? I noticed in your previous post she was due in late August. I have had very limited contact with my girlfriend. The last time I told her I loved her was Christmas Eve. And that was through a text. I tried to see her to give her Christmas presents, but she avoided me. We made plans to exchange gifts over New Years weekend, but she never responded, so I gave up. She did send me pics of the 30 week 4D ultrasound, which I texted back a thank you. I haven't heard from her since. I haven't tried to contact her since either. I am a praying man, and I know God has my back. In fact, I was getting ready to text her right when my email told me you had responded here telling me to give her space. So tell me that isn't God speaking to me! She seems to be slowly coming around. I talk to her mom and dad on occasion. Her Dad is at a loss, and her mom (they don't live together anymore) refuses to help her out until she starts thinking about the baby and not herself in terms of the future. I know from them that the baby will have my last name. My girlfriend likes the name I picked out. And I will be in the delivery room. All subject to change, of course. But they are positive steps. I'm hoping as the time draws nearer, she starts coming around a bit more. In the beginning, I'd give her about a week, then try to contact her. I was talking to her friends trying to figure out what was going on with her. I'd text constantly with no answers. I'd try to call and she'd let it go to voicemail. I haven't tried to call her since Christmas weekend. When I did call, she let it go to voicemail. I hung up and about 10 minutes later got a text asking what I needed. I haven't tried to call since. I went all of November without contacting her until Thanksgiving. She wished me a happy birthday. We didn't communicate at all for New Years. So now, we're less than two months away.... Hopefully she'll come around. Does anybody else have any closure in their pregnancies?

 

Baby_Dad - January 16

UPDATE: Well I had my little man on 9/24, which is an awesome experience and I hope all of you guys get to partake. Well me and the baby momma split up for a few months and decided to work things out about 4mths before he came. Over those months we were apart, I was a major wreck and know how you guys feel. Especially when she goes and finds other guy"s" to take your spot. . .but we wont get into all that. I still get p__sed off just thinking about it. Bottom line, do you best to tuff it out, if not for her do it for YOUR baby, let her know it is yours and you DO have rights(even though here the law is very lopsided towards the mother). Don't pester and try not to get too heated-try to remain calm and collected. The best thing for me was occasionally asking her if she would like to go eat sometime, progressively we started to kindly talk more to each other. ---]Save all your txt, call logs, keep a journal of everything that happens-even the good, make everything look legit if court is needed in the future. I have all that plus random Myspace/Facebook/etc images-screencaps saved into my computer and several flashdrives. Good Luck future Dads!

 

Dadagain - January 18

Hi Baby Dad. Thank you for your response. I'm glad to hear that things worked out for you. I've been a wreck for about 5 1/2 months now. There have been a few spots of relief, but not much. Right now, I have less than 2 months to go. She's not showing any signs that she is going to let me a part of the baby's life at all. Even though her family tells me otherwise. She just wants absolutely nothing to do with me right now. I'm not bothering her at all. She has all the space she wants from me. I'm doing what I can for the baby. Which isn't much. I've been buying things and getting my house ready for the times when the baby can come be with me. I guess I'll just have to wait to see what happens. Thanks again. Anybody else have a story to share?

 

Shinnister - June 15

OMG .. I just wanted to say that I completely feel soo bad. I know what you are feeling exactly! the only reason that I was even reading your post was my situation is so very similar. In fact I was sooo confused because I can't comprehend how someone you might have been with for 7 years or so like mine. Can act out in such ways when I did believe that this woman loved me dearly and I said nothing But "how ever, whatever you need to do we will do" "We have for sure gotten through WAY worse things. But there is no reasoning with her zilch Anyways I came across your post and felt sooo bad for you cause it hurts so bad because I think it is that you are NOT given a reason or a REAL explanation. Stay strong

 

Russty78 - November 25

Can someone please tell me how things worked out I'm going through this at the minute and it is destroying me!!! :(

 

Dadagain - November 26

I wish I could tell you to hang in there and give you hope that things are going to magically get better when the baby is born, but that simply isn't what happened in my case. At the moment, our daughter is 8 months old and we are just now kind of talking. She has finally realized how difficult being a single mom is, but not before buying a house 120 miles away from me and signing into a contract with her current job there. She did tell me that she was very confused. When our daughter was 6 months old, she told me that I needed to move on, so I went out and had a one night stand. Now that's coming around and biting me in the b___t. She seems to have wanted to come back to figure out how to make things work until she found out about the one night stand. Now she doesn't think she could ever be intimate with me again since I have been with someone else since her, and she has been at home raising our daughter. I feel terrible about it, but honestly, I was fiercely loyal and hopeful about us for over 14 months before this happened. Like I said... At the moment, we are talking a bit, but I'm not sure there will ever be a relationship again. I told her I still want to marry her, but she just isn't sure she can do it now....

 

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