14 Weeks Pregnant And Sick And Emotional

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araina - February 19

Hi, I am 14 weeks pregnant. I have a son he is 16 months old. I love him beyond the sun. I have lost one, I was 2 1/2 months. I need help... This is what's going on... Me and my husband planned to do this one more time. I loved the idea of haveing 2 kids, my son needs a brother are sister. I wonted to have my kids be for I was 30 years old. I am 28 now, I am sick all the time. I am sleepy and my head is all swimy. I feel so distant from my son because he needs me, and I can not do the things I used to. But I can not hold him a lot. Because of feeling sick. I try to rock him, but it makes me sick more. My husband works most of the time if it's not raining. He is a roofer. I have been crying off and on for 3 days. I feels so bad, my husband asked me what's rong. I say I'm pregnant that's what's rong. When I was pregnant with my son every thing was so happy every one was happy. But this time is deferent, I told my family on x-miss. They have been not vary good about it. I feel like my child I am haveing is unwonted by my family. My husband loves it, and says that's all that matters. I have my mom watch my son some times because I feel bad. She goes on and on about you should feel better now. But then she said I was sick all the time with your sister. If so then why is it she thinks I can't be. Then she said I neglect my son because I am sick and don't feel good and I don't hold him all the time. Then she said, I will take him and when he crys I will till him he has no mother. That made me wores. She knows I am easy to get up set. I lost the 1st one becouse of it. She got me so bad upset I had to go to the hospital. I was thinking she be better by now, with the way she goes on and on with my son. I was rong. She acts like I do not deserve to have more then one. This does not help me with my emotional feelings. Last night my husband took off to be with me. We went to the chocolate shop and he got me what ever I wonted. We went to eat out, He got a drink are two. He keep going on and on about how good he was feeling and how great it was. I was happy for him he worked all week and was stressed. It helped him feel better. But I was not all that great, I didn't say any thing. But inside all I could say was, I wish I was that happy and in joying my self. Before I was pregnant we hanged out all the time. We had fun, I am a good parent and do not drank are smoke when I am pregnant. Thin we went to he's friends for a little bit. They where all chain smoking. And haveing a good time. I just set there all sick looking. I was dying for a cigarette. I stop smoking for the baby, but that does not mean I don't crave one. I wonted to be that happy. But being sick and tired. Does not help. I was a little jealous of their happy feeling, I am sad because I should be happy. But I am not. I do not enjoy any thing. I love to sing and dance. I don't find joy in it. I don't even find joy in making love to my husband most of the time any more. And I loved doing that with him all the time be for I was pregnant. After we got home. I keep him up all night crying tilling him why. I was upset, He calls it drama. He says more drama I see. I feel like he does not under stand. Where I am coming from, he can do any thing he wont's. Wile I feel I can not even enjoy music. After about 2hrs. Of this you don't under stand and why are you not listening . I stop because I feel bad and I am to tired to keep going. He looks at me and says you done? I look at him odd, and we just look at each other. I laughed at him. Thin he tells me to lay down. And he holds me, He tills me I am a good mother and he is proud of me. For not doing bad things, and that I am the most s_xyest thing he has ever seen. He says that my mom is bad and don't lessen to her. I asked him for a hug, He gave me one. I need it, I love hugs more then any thing. And god love him it was 2 a.m. and the man had to go to work at 6 a.m. I feel bad. Like a bad person, I love the baby, But I HATE being pregnant... Will all this pass soon. And I will feel better and be happy.... It's driving me crazy and my husband. I do not wont to push him away.

 

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