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I know just how you feel both of those things happened to me but a couple of years apart. You see I was raped when I was only 14 by my first boyfriend. I'm now 20 and I wont lie its still kinda hard especially when I tell my husband no and he keeps pushing, he ends up excepting my no but still it bothers me. And about my miscarriage I was 15 and 2 1/2 monthes pregnant when it happened to me it was a extremely hard experience as was the rape I can't even imagine both at the same time. I still wish that I had that baby and hope to have one soon. Me and my husband have been trying for about 5 monthes now. I don't know if this will help you any but after both my experiences I had no one to talk to and no one who understood. I am okay now but it took some time and a real understanding man (my husband) to get to where I am now. I will be praying for you and hope that you get through everything Okay. Hope to keep in touch.

Selina, by the way if you want to talk more my email address is honeybear62904@yahoo.com. Hope that I have helped you a little.

I'm so sorry that you are going through such a horrible experience. I had a m/c a couple of months ago and my husband was there to take care of me but I feel bad that because I was so upset he couldn’t really grieve because he was taking care of me. I hope that this does not ruin your relationship, but makes you realize how much you love one another. But if you feel really scared that these incidents might drive you apart I would suggest talking to a counselor. Your husband loves you and probably wants nothing but to be there for you and make you feel better as much as possible. I know my husband did but it took away from him being able to grieve the loss properly. So in order for you both to be able to come past this you might have to find someone that you can both talk to and who can help you understand each other through this. I’m praying for you and your husband.

Selina, I really feel for your situation. I was never raped, but violently s_xually a__saulted on my 16th birthday. It didn't effect me mentally for a long time then one day while having s_x with my husband I got a vision of this guy from nowhere and I just kind of freaked out. The best thing I can tell is to get some intense counseling along with your husband. Your situation is a serious one that may not improve without professional help, but it is indeed fixable. As long as your husband stands by you and is understnading, it shouldn't ruin your relationship.

Thanks to all of you for your advice and support. It really means so much to me and I'm so sorry you had to go through awful experiences too. They have caught the thing that raped me and it has made us feel a little better, even though seeing him again in the ID parade made me freak out totally. Me and my husband have been able to talk and him giving me a cuddle has helped. I now know that I wont let this awful experience break me and my husband apart. I have been offered counselling and going by your advice I will go. I just dont know whether I should go with my husband or we should go separately. Maybe we should go together but I dont want to discuss any details of the rape with him there because I dont want to upset him even more than he is now. Once again thank you all for your advice, its appreciated so much.

Hi Selina, I just wnated to check and see how you are doing. I hope you have started counseling and that it is helping you. counselors are usually flexible and he/she can see you first in one session and both of you in the next. They will work with what ever you are comfortable with. Hope you are feeling better.