45 And Pregnant

90 Replies
gardeneraholic - February 26

I plan to ttc again starting in june. I want to shed some lbs. but yes I havn't given up the hope of having one more child even if I am 44 or 45 by the time it happens. I wish all of you luck in the bd and lots of baby dust spread around to everyone

 

dcaron - March 26

Hello! Bettyboop gave me the courage to join into this thread. I am really scared and I need support. Ok, here goes...I am 51 and the mother of two boys, ages 27 and 28. I am alos the grandmother of a 7 month old grandson. I just got remarried Jan 31, 2009. I had been told in my late 20s that I would never have children again. Well....I am 12 weeks preganant and haven't told a sole! I am terrified. I feel guilty and ashamed....like I have done something wrong. But secretly, I am so excited and this is such a miracle. then I worry: Will I have the energy? Will I be able to keep up with work (I am the bread-winner, my husband is 1/2 way through engineering school), What will my grown children say, what will my grandbaby call MY baby, etc.!? I hope that there are other women out there who will talk to me. I feel so lost!

 

clindholm - March 27

dcaron, I just wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet you will find the energy for your new baby. Try not to ruin your pregnancy with excess worries that will not get you anywhere anyway. Enjoy!

 

in the woods - April 4

dcaron - there is a forum called "Pregnancy after 50" : pregnancyafter50 dot com and go to Forum. thread #10, "50... have 20 months old twins and wanting 1 more" - those ladies are walking in your shoes :)

 

amanda_kim - September 3

Testing. I am very excited to join you guys. I haven't read anything yet, but want to see if I can post/if I registered correctly.

 

ConfuseD - September 3

That's so AWESOME! My last child was born when I was nearly 48, and I was so scared because of the "statistics." By the way, those "statistics" will be given to you by medical doctors, but I've yet to know of a mid-wife that will. A WORLD of difference in approach, and thus, I would strongly encourage seeing a mid-wife, when you go to the doctors. They're SO relaxed, and will help you be, too. By the way, my older children (from my first marriage) are a generation from my youngest...you know, back in the day when pain relief during labor was a four-letter word. Forget it. When I had my last child, I took full advantage of an epidural. Best of luck with your pregnancy, and afterward!! God bless!!

 

amanda_kim - September 3

To ConfuseD! Thank you so much for posting! Last night, I was so depressed and couldn't sleep. I just turned 44 years of age and want to try for a second. Due to my husband's work/what he is working on currently, he has asked me to wait until next January (4 or 5 months from now) and I was so depressed. I have had to wait this long between my last 3.5 years ago due to finances/work/business. I was thinking that he finally agreed, but then I won't have any real chance to have a baby at this age (45+). Also, my husband has told me he doesn't want to do IVF (because of the cost). It was heart-breaking because when we lived in Ma__sachussettes, where we just moved from 5 months ago, IVF would have been FREE! In Colorado, where we live and the new insurance we have now, it's $15K or more out of pocket, which my husband has told me he is not willing to spend. He thinks I can have a baby "naturally" like we did our last. Of course, doctors are telling me that I am even too old for IVF let alone having a baby naturally. They are SO doom and gloom. It's really bad. Where I stand is, we are going to see if changing insurance companies will give us some $$$ coverage for IVF. If not, we may change insurance if possible. Also, we will try to get a doctor to do: clomed + scans and timed-intercourse, which worked for our last child who is 3.5 years old. THANK YOU VERY MUCH for letting me know you had your last at 48. Could you answer some questions for me? 1) how long did you try before you got pregnant at 47? 2) Did you do anything like predict your ovulation process? Timed-intercourse? 3) Did you just go to mid-wife or MD at all? 4) Did the MDs (if you went to them, I don't know if you go to them sometimes in conjunction with going to mid-wife?), did they also say nasty scarey stuff to you? 5) How old were you when you had all your kids? Thank you! God Bless!!

 

ConfuseD - September 3

amanda kim, I was a late 47, when I had my last child (just short of my 48th birthday). We didn't do IVF...it happened naturally. I was still having monthly menses, by the way...not like the irregularity I'm currently experiencing at age 53. Forget what the doctors say. You're right...they're doom and gloom. See what a midwife says. You'll wonder if they're in the same practice as your OB/GYN - that's how different their approach can be. Besides, if God means it to be, it will happen. I've heard other people tell me their doctors said "they'll never be able to have another child" for whatever medical reason was going on. God thought otherwise! Anyway, to answer your questions: 1) We weren't "trying" to conceive, but if I had to take a guess how many times it took...I'll guess at up to six (probably less). That's quite good, I understand. 2) No, there was no "timed intercourse." However, since I was having regular menses, chances are good that it happened about 10 days after my period ended. 3) Yes, I went to the doctor's. Originally, I started with the same OB/GYN unit where I had had my first four children. I wanted to carry on the tradition, but wasn't so impressed with the current staff. When I was younger, they were great, but now the staff was different. Being older, I felt like an oddity, and if I didn't know better, I think they would have preferred I end the pregnancy (something I hate remembering that crossed my mind, because I was so terrified at one point). It was actually THIS site, and some very intelligent people on here - and the midwives - that calmed me down, and were encouraging. Mind you, I don't think I could have actually gone through with it, but I HATE thinking that I would have even let the notion cross my mind. We love our little guy SO MUCH, and can't imagine life without him. Anyway, after my initial visit with the original OB/GYN unit, I switched to a different practice. It was a wise move. 4) Yes, the doctor - vs. the midwives - will give you every NIGHTMARISH, SCARY risk statistic in the book. You know why (this we were told by a counselor, after I was so shaken up by my initial doctor's visits, and needed to speak with someone about my feelings)? Liability. Yup, obstetrics, and orthopedics, he said, are high-risk fields these days. People are especially prone to sue, when it comes to these practices. It doesn't mean your pregnancy won't go well - maybe even better than someone half your age, or younger. Argh! Interesting note...when I was pregnant with my last child, and was talking with various people about it, I learned that some of those people (who were in their 40's or 50's) were "later in life" babies. Hmmm... 5) I was in my mid-twenties with my first three children, and 30 with my fourth. I had my fifth, as said earlier, when I was 47 (nearly 48). Best of luck to you, and God bless!

 

amanda_kim - September 3

hi, ConfuseD Thank you!! Your email is helping me to really "orient" myself to what the culture is like/what we as patients have to face with doctorsr as over 40 would be parents. I have been been dealing with this since last year (when I was 42 and turning 43) when I first started getting that DOOM and GLOOM song and dance that has heightened recently with the last round of visits to the doctor's office. I will now be prepared, if God-willing I get pregnant, that doctors and nurses (verbally and with certain looks and facial expressions) will try to encourage that the pregnancy not be kept (I will be prepared and not panick). Thank you for letting me know. I have heard once from a would-be mother of 43 that her baby may have genetic issues but when the baby was born, she was perfect. For you, your pregnancy was unexpected and led you to come across these issues, but for me, I WANT a pregnancy and I am facing these issues with the medical community as I explore my medical options available to me. Yes, I am having a hard time with it all. They are really scaring me not to death, but are scaring me to increasing depression. I work in medical research and I work with a lot of doctors. Of course, I am not the patient, but someone from the drug company, but why didn't I realize that the doom and gloom is because of medical malpractice issues and libailities! Of course, how did I not consider that angle. Thank you very much for sharing. I have learend so much, and I have been comforted much. Thank you again!! I have to just muster what I will be facing with: naysayers, doom and gloom and try. In the future, sometime maybe 50 years from now, women will look back and realize that we faced these issues and see how absurd all of this is. There has to be something that will happen that will put all of the fear and doom into perspective. God bless!!

 

mjbergen - September 28

Hi, I'm so glad to have found this forum. I'm 45 and ttc. I'm on my second cycle with IUI and injections. Now I realize how my concerns have so much to do with the doctors warning me about all the risks. They keep reminding me about the "1%" chance of my becoming pregnant at my age. They have been trying to convince me to choose the egg donor option and keep reminding me of this. I now wonder if this is just easier for them and more profitable. My mom is old school and insists that as long as a woman is not premenopausal and has a regular period she can get pregnant. I've been reading and discovered that down syndrome is not as common as I thought in women over forty. the chances increase but it can happen at any age. I've also been told to follow my instincts when deciding to do the amnio. Unless you plan to abort, there is no need to know how "normal" your baby will be. I will love and accept my baby no matter what the outcome is. Does anyone suggest a midwife now that I'm ttc or only if I become pregnant? Thanks to all for sharing, your comments and advice will help me greatly during this long journey. mjbaby

 

LisaMoscov - November 20

Hi everybody,

I'm about 45 within 2 month, and just passed abortion 2 day ago (10 week preganance) because of BO,

I have no children, as I didn't want to have kids. as aging, start having press for having baby, didn't try hard and got pregance 3 weeks ago.

 

 

Phumzile - December 22

Hi! All

I'm 43 and 6 weeks. I didn't knw the is a lot of ppl like me. Hope I will get help form this forum.  This is my first pregnancy have no clue and no one to talk too. As all my friends kids are starting university.  I was afraid this was going to be the lonely. 

 

KayRoMo - December 22

Hi Terryane! It is so refreshing to hear you and your hubby's ages, as my hubby and I are 10 years a part, too. We also have a slew of children combined...35, 32, 25, 24, 23, 23, 21, 14, 7, 3 and I just took a pregnancy test today and I'm pregnant! I was 38 when I had our 7 y/o and 42 when our 3 y/o came along. Just praying for a healthy baby, pregnancy and energy! God bless you and thanks for sharing!

 

Jaynelc - February 2

Hi

I'm 48 , wanting a 5th baby , my eldest is now 25 youngest just turned 7. Husband not over keen , he does work a lot, so it's my need .

Im worried what everyone else says , I do look and feel young , love being a mom .

i am now 7 days late , 3 negative tests , I have never been late . Each pregnancy I caught within two months . Now feeling worried . 

All the stories of being an older mom are very helpful . It's so scary about the negatives about the health of having a baby later in life . 

 

tarpley1972 - November 18

Would you be willing to share any information on how your pregnancy went?   I'm 46 and terrified. . . Hoping for some positive information.  Thanks

 

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