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I had a one night stand on hols on Aug 17th and haven't had a period since and feel sick, tired and sore b___sts and just well pregnant. I've missed 2 periods now and just know what the test will say. I only have this guys address and not even a phone number. I'm going back to Edinburgh on 31st October and will be probably 12 weeks or so by then, I don't think I should tell him he probably won't believe me and I haven't been with anyone else since. Anyway I'm 34 yrs old, got a good job buying a new apartment and now probably am over 7 weeks pregnant - not in my long term plan. I've met a new fella since and don't know when I should tell him I'm expecting someone elses baby. He has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship but I really like him and I'm doing a test today and It will confirm my suspicions cause I'm usually like clockwork and have my period every 29 days and it was day 14 of my cycle when i had the one night stand. Help please advice needed. I'm going to keep the baby anyway I could never have an abortion.

well i think u should tell him and see what he says but if you know getting a negative response from the baby's father would hurt you then don't but thats just my opinion. As for the guy that you are with i think you should tell him but whenever u think you are ready but don't wait too long... have faith you'll get through everything and you have a good job so thats great i'm sure things will be great and the guy u are with should have some understanding!

Lorrielocks i think u should tell him and see what he says but if you know getting a negative response from the baby's father would hurt you then don't but thats just my opinion. As for the guy that you are with i think you should tell him but whenever u think you are ready but don't wait too long... have faith you'll get through everything and you have a good job so thats great i'm sure things will be great and the guy u are with should have some understanding!

listen to this! yesterday i told the father of my child i wanted to speak to him. he acted so childish so we met in the street and i was asking him can we go home so we can talk about this please because he was only coming back to me then going back to the other girls and yesterday i found out so i wanted to tell him lets make arrangements of how we will deal with the baby and because his friends were there he acted really ridiculous. i stood infront him and said please can we go home and he moved so i went and stood in front him again and he just grabbed me and started to beat me so i fought back and he tried to drop me on my back and it took about 3-4 people to hold him back from coming to lash me and all of this for a 16 year old girl because she has some money! can you believe that! i just cut off all ties with him from last night and it hurts i wont lie it hurts like hell but at the end of the day i have my baby to study! and he always says blood is thicker than water but he choose water over blood! a lil girl over his own child! how can people be so heartless and what sucks is that i have to go cla__s in a while and i will see him!

Lana where abouts are you located? You should get an avo out against him. He doesn't sound like the type of person you want around your baby anyways.

Thanks for your advice Lana. I probably will tell the father cos to be honest I don't really care what he thinks, I was only with him for 1 night and am not expecting anything from him. I'm only gonna tell him because he has a right to know and if he wants to be a father to our baby that's great cos I think it's important a child knows who their parents are. The new guy is lovely and I've decided i will tell him when I'm about 12 - 14 weeks, I'll be showing a little by then and hopefully he'll be able to accept it. I'm strong anyway and can do this alone, I have to be a great Mum to this baby cos I may be the only parent they'll have. Anyway good luck to all single mums and I think the men who are engaged and with women for years and find out they are preg and then leave them are not worth it, they are rotten people for leaving the love of their life because they are carrying their baby. It takes 2 to make a baby and you all had a lucky escape not marrying such selfish men. Take care all. x

Hi my partner left me last night and Im ten weeks pregnant. Everything was going well until he broke down saying he wanted me to have an abortion. I couldnt believe how selfish he was being by saying that he just wasnt ready and he was scared when IM SCARED TOO! I live in Surrey with him in our flat and have done for quite some time now, but he has chucked me out knowing that I have no place to go. Most of my relatives have pa__sed away or live abroad so its impossible for me to go to them. Im staying at his friends atm, but its hectic with their newborn and busy schedules. I just wish he could man up and support me and his child because I still love him and I dont want to be without him especially right now.Depression is starting to settle in and with nobody to talk to its really hard to hold on.

This touches my heart. You are in the city of my birth, and where I learned to swim. Maybe your man will miss you more than he realizes, and there will be a change of heart. Getting chucked out must be devastating. Maybe the friends will be happy to have you to babysit and take some of the stress out of their lives. Can you handle that? Where is your family from, and where are they now?

My family live in Australia in perth which is a 24 hour flight that I cant afford plus they are elderly and dont have the stamina nor the space to put up me and my baby :( I really hope things work out for the best. Im praying that a little bit of luck might shine through for me and my little one. Thankyou so much for your kind words and concern.xx

Courage, Draven! Situations that test us in the short term can also give us strength in the long term. Mail me and we'll keep in touch. GL!

Hi. I'm new here but alone and to be honest a tad desperate. I don't live in a country where we have support groups if any and single parenting or help. I actually work for the only company that claim they do counseling but they're about to fire me as I am pregnant. The father has a very sweet little boy from a previous relationship but has disowned me as he doesn't want this one. My mother abosolutely hated him so we had an all out war and my siblings have gravitated towards her so now no one cares to talk to me. He said this is too much and too soon and cannot be there to morally support me. I don't really want or need financial support from anyone as I have a relatively good job and I have finished at least my first degree but I just have no one to talk to at all. I've tried to get known abortionists to do it but no one is willing to do it as I am into my 4th month and did I mention it's illegal here? I went from him wanting to marry me to running away from me. He said he'd always back me up but he's not there. no one is. i go to the doctor by myself and he doesn't want to have anything to do with the ultra sound pictures either. A priest or a pastor would be nice but I've had to resign from church as having a child out of wedlock disfellowships you from church. I guess I'm kinda lost.

Sympathy! You say you don't need financial support, but if they fire you for being pregnant, there may be a problem. I think you need to rebuild your fences with your family - apologize and tell them you were blinded by love and now see the error of your ways. The society you live in is amazingly judgemental. Is this Ireland or some LDS outlier? My email is on my profile if you need a friend. Good luck!

I didn't think anyone would respond. Thanks!!! but I'll take your advice and see where it takes me. My family kinda subscribes to the society's views of women in my position and the church is a huge influence also- if you're pregnant get married. lol. He's not going to marry me so that's out the window. This is Trinidad. Lovely island, and nice people but little different in thinking. We're slowly changing though so I'm wishing myself good luck.

lola308, I am in a similar situation as you. Father of my child has also disappeared and wants nothing to do with his child. I go to all doctors appointments alone. We have no contact. We dated for about one year so I don't know his family, just know of them. He also said it's all too much for him and he's not ready for the responsibility and he's 38!! My family is somewhat supportive..they also have that "old fashioned" way of thinking. Children out of wedlock is not supposed to be a "good thing." Try to save up as much money as you can, start looking for other job oppurtunities just in case your current job fires you. AND try to reconcile with your parents and siblings. You will need their support emotionally, babysitting, etc. You are already 4 months pregnant..baby starts moving at this point. Think about keeping it or giving it up for adoption. Its all your decision, no one else's. If you decide to keep it, you'll have to be strong and block out all of those judgemental stares and comments that people will make..and you can do it! The one with no morals is the dead beat father who ran away from his responsibility!! It's really despicable to see how some of these men conduct themselves. My pregnancy was unplanned for me as well, but I am here for the baby...he on the other hand has disappeared. Its difficult, I know. I've cried and cried because the entire situation is so hurtful...but now I'm 6months pregnant and happily preparing for my baby boy. Although I constantly think about what to say to him when he asks about his father. Not sure what to say then. I plan to engage him in as many activities as possible and provide him with a happy, healthy, supportive environment. lola308, that's the best we can do without the support of the biological father. Sorry to hear that there is not much a__sistance for single mothers in your country. So I guess you can't legally go after him for child support. Here in the U.S., we can. I really do know how you feel..and it sucks!! You can have your baby and the both of you will be fine. I'm not saying it will be easy...many days and nights it won't be, but you can do it and survive just fine. Just make sure that you mend your relationship with your family. Hope you can! Hang in there...it will get better.

Gosh. I'm sorry to hear that. Although the situations suck I'm actually kinda happy that it's not just me so it means it's not all my fault. I'm really grateful just for the responses btw cause it's nice to know someone at least took 5 minutes out of their time to say something. Everyday is different but it'll get better so I'll keep at it. Thanks monchy73!

Lola omg i'm from trini too!