Hurtful Nicknames
Agonizing over names
Parents who were given hurtful nicknames as children are likely to find
themselves worried as they choose names for their babies. They remember the
great pain they suffered. They will examine a name inside and out to make sure
that there is no way to turn that name into a pain-causing moniker before they
dare to use it for their infant. As the mother of 12 children, I am no
exception to the rule, agonizing over the names I give my children.
I was bookish and awkward
As a young girl, I was bookish and awkward. I got along better with
adults than with my peers. As a result, I was grist for the nickname mill. It
wasn't long before kids realized my first and last initials were BM. What could
be more hurtful than being called BM all through elementary school? In an
attempt to defend my honor, I realized that the most popular TV show at that
time, had, as its major character, Batman, whose initials, with a bit of
creative machination could be thought of as BM. I told the children at school,
"You better watch out! BM also stands for Batman. You don't want to be
messing with him!"
This didn't much help my predicament. I continued to be tagged as a
bowel movement until the 6th grade. It wasn't just the nickname;
there was also some schoolyard violence. My mother tried to help; she arranged
a meeting with the teacher, but nothing seemed to help.
At last, unable to bear my situation any longer, I begged my mother to
allow me the chance to register at a private school in my city and I was very
lucky that she acquiesced. That school saved me in terms of my ability to gain social
standing and self-esteem. For the first time I could remember, I was, not just accepted mind
you, but actually popular. There was a different atmosphere to this school, a
feeling that all were family, all part of one unified spirit.
In a study at Cardiff
University, 20% of children were found to have experienced being called by a demeaning nickname on a daily
basis. 220 adults completed questionnaires about their experiences with
nicknames at school. The study determined that being called by such nicknames has a
long term and profound effect on adults. It was found that most often nicknames
describe physical attributes in negative terms and that such names cause the
most lasting negative impact.
Protect your child
It is important to realize that name calling is a type of bullying and
must be addressed to protect your child's self-esteem. Anything that a child
does for the specific purpose of causing discomfort to another child falls
under the category of bullying behavior, no matter how covert or overt. If your
child is being victimized, please contact your child's teachers and school
administrators and insist that something be done!
