Future Mother In Law To Play Nanny

0 Replies
Airn87 - January 1

Ok, this feels like a long story to get out to get the full grasp of the situation, so im going to do my best to summarize. I'm 6 mos along with my first child. Been dating the father for 1 year. When we first discovered we were expecting it was very joyous for everyone including both sides of our family. Both daddy and I work full time professional careers.  Daddies parents live an work within blocks of our home making just enough to get by. Due to the cost of daycare in our area, future mil and I discussed her quitting one of her jobs at a local diner to instead care for our future daughter while we both worked. I offered the appropriate pay she would have been making at the diner and what I knew they needed to stay afloat. She was very excited for the opportunity, both being able to leave a job she hated and the chance to spend so much time with her first born grandchild.  3 months later, her 21 yr old, living at home, dropped out of college, no job and only manages to have a job for 3 weeks ever 3 months daughter announces she's pregnant. Not only did this rain on the parade of happiness it changed my view on having my future mil watch our child full time within her home. Future sil is due the exact week I will be returning to work from my maternity leave. She is a very immature irresponsible person who I do not believe will be able to handle the full reaponsibilies of being a full time mother. The babies father also lives in future mil/fil's home. Both of them rent free and neither do anything around the home to help out. It was very awkward timing of her becoming pregnant and many friends and family believe she may have "let" this happen to regain some attention shed seen her old brother and i receiving over the announcement of our pregnancy. Future mil and I had been growing very close and found many things in common. Jealousy may have been a factor in her unexpected/unplanned pregnancy.   Knowing there will be 2 infants, 3 months apart being cared for 50 hours a week under one roof, with potentially one responsible adult makes me extremely uncomfortable. Am I wrong for telling my future mil that I would rather have my daughter in a friends home daycare environment then under her care? I tried to explain my side as gently as possible. I explained i want to make the best decision for my daughter. I want her to be treated fairly all the time and I was worried that having a live in grandchild would be enough without having my child there up to 50 hours a week.  I also explained that knowing we'd be paying for the childcare our baby would be receiving while she would be supplying future sil that same childcare for free, paying her rent, food, etc and her boyfriends N Childs. I don't want my daughter raised in an environment where she's second. Future mil house will be future niece/nephews home. Their things, their space, no room for 3 month old cousin. No time, no energy, no effort left for my baby.  I offered a solution of her watching our child in our home a few days a week. I couldn't have her here full-time due because come on, let's me real, I love her but she is a MIL! But she will not even speak to me at the moment.  I wanted to bring this up before shed quit her job with the thought of watching our daughter full-time for that income. i know it hurt her feelings, but I'm trying to be realistic and do what's best for my daughter. Am I wrong?!



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