Am I Just Completely Alone
6 Replies
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I decided to wait until I was married to get pregnant and to wait until I was in my mid 20's to get married. The reason being, I was always warned people who marry young are happy in the beginning but then 5 years later they're not (my friends would marry at 18, have children at 21, divorce at 25). So I knew my husband for 5 years, dated for 4, and we married until we were both 25. I felt it was the right thing to do.
I told myself I wouldn't get pregnant until after I graduate college (26 for me, I started late) because I wanted something to fall back on. My husband has a great career but I didn't want to have to depend on a man. I know I can provide for my children if something were to happen.
So I enjoyed marriage a couple years, and now I'm 27 and finally ready to start trying. I thought I was still pretty young and I come to this site and see that 20 is about the average age!
I honestly feel so out of place. I read the thread where some girls said 14-16 was old enough to get pregnant and 30 was too old. Honestly, who is paying for these girl's baby if they are trying? Do they know how young 30 really is? I hope they're not depending on some boyfriend.
I don't mean to offend any young mothers. I know plenty who have it all going for them. I just feel like I'm in the twilight zone.
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While there are certain factors such as age, relationship stability, education, and finance that will make parenting a smoother ride, I believe that as long as you want a child, are truly willing to take on the demanding emotional and financial responsibility, and will love and cherish new life, then there really isn't a wrong age. Its personal. Despite what 6,000 total strangers want to tell each other over the internet through blogs. GEEZ, have you read some of these posts? Ruthless!
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there is nothing wrong with starting a family at 27 or 20. my mom was in the RCMP (royal canadian mounted police in Canada) and stated to have a family at 27 and had four kids. But she was the last to marry our of her friends. I was married at 20 and after almost three years or marriage we are ttc. My husband is 27 and would like to start as it takes a while for most to get pg. I think it is great you waited. I also think there isnt' a right age. Well maybe not a teen mom.
Good luck to you!
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 | Dak - December 31 |
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i also feel family can be started at any age depending on how comfortable one is in terms of matuality and financial responsibility. I met my husband at 22, we married and started ttc at 24, unfortunately, we could not conceive for 2 years until I was tested and found out that I was not ovulating and my tubes were blocked. Had to go through a plastic surgery to rectify the tubes and used Clomid to help with ovulation. I conceived (at 26 ,2006) my 2 yr 3 months girl a month after operation. one can have or not have conception problems at any age. Am not 28 and ttc for second. Good luck to both of you. people are having children at 35.
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I don't think it matters what age you are as long as you are willing to take on the demanding job that comes with being a parent, I myself am 26 and are pregnant and I don't feel too old, my friend had her first at 17 and she is a fantastic mum, age is not the issue at all.
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My husband and I met and married within four months and I was just shy of twenty at the time. We found out we were expecting our first child just one month and two days after our wedding and welcomed a new addition to our family just shy of the ten months married mark. We were both in school, and I was unemployed at the time, but it was right for us. Our marriage is still strong (four years as of two days ago) and we have faced every trial life could possibly throw at us (my parents disowned me, I was sued for a car accident I was in, we lost our first child to an illness at 2 yrs of age, and then suffered a miscarriage with our second child just a few months later). So I would have to agree that age, and education, etc. is more or less relative when it comes to being ready to be parents; however, I would have to say that this also involves a certain degree of common sense. As much as one may be willing to take on the demanding responsibilities of parenthood and love a child with all their hearts, it is possible for one not to be able to fulfill such a role--like 14 year old girls still in high school. I've known several young, single mothers who are excellent parents, but I think they are likely to be the exception to the rule and rather mature for their ages. For the most part, I think one needs to be old enough to be a consenting adult before he/she should agree to become a parent.
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Although I do not condone teenage pregnancy -( I think teenage girls have enough to go through without adding more wood to the fire) - I would have to say that there is no "right age" or right circ_mstances. You can plan your life right down to the second and have everything fall apart around you in a blink of the eye and you can fly by the seat of your pants being happy. Age is just a state of mind. I have seen 30 year old men act like babies and I have seen five year boys act like old men. I personally am finally living. I divorced my husband of 8 years - married a man 17 years younger than me and now I am 13 weeks pregnant. My husband works but also is studying on the side. Right now I cannnot work for various reasons and I am sure some of my former friends and collegues would say that I am "crazy" but you know what? I have never been happier or more in love than I am right now....I think that is what counts in life.
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