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I'm 20. I make good money and I attend college online. My boyfriend of 5 years has a good job as well. We own a car and have lived in the 3 bedroom house we rent for 2 years. I hadn't really thought of having kids any time soon until this month... Maybe I just caught the baby bug (my sister just had her 2nd child, quite a few of my close friends are pregnant) But, when I was 5 days late this month I was secretly very excited. The day I decided to take the test my period started. I told my boyfriend it was a false alarm and asked him what he thought about maybe trying for a child in the near future... maybe not in the next few months, but in the next year or so. He just said he loved me but he thought it would be selfish to have a child anytime soon. Even though I know things wouldn't be perfect I still can't help but feel very disappointed. Right now I have the ability to stay home and still make good money.. a chance I will only be able to have for another three years. Then I will have to focus more on a career and god only knows if I will ever get the chance to be home AND financially secure again. Staying home with my children in the first year or so is something that is very important to me. I want to br___tfeed and to teach them in this early stage of life. I don't want to leave my baby at daycare and worry all day while i'm at work. I know that if he says no I shouldn't press the issue (and I wouldn't) but am I crazy to feel like having kids now is a good decision?
I would like to add on that I don't smoke drink or party, that I have a wonderful support system (his family and my older sister) and that I have always know that I may have some problems trying to get pregnant... so the idea of waiting too long has always been scary. Also, my mother passed away when she was 39 and I have always worried that if I waited I may not get the chance to see my kids grow up.
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I feel what you are feeling, exactly the same situation, I have wanted a child on and off for 3 years now, I have been with my bf, almost 5 years now too, I finish UNI in a few months, and bf finishes his apprenticeship in 1.5 years. we have a mortgage and are completely over going out and partying now. we have a beautiful new car and are planning on me a new car this year and also buying a block of land this year and building our dream home on it and renting out our home that we live in now. We can afford to do all this on my bf's apprentice wage, not to mention his qualified wage! I would LOVE to start trying for a child now (im already off the pill, but we are using the 'pull out' method as the call it haha) just because I am the same as you in that I don't want to focus strongly on my career when I finish UNI, only to stop a few years later for children as I dont want them to be in day care. also, I dont want to get used to having two wages and then find it hard to stop working for kids. My desire came on 1000X stronger when we had a pregnancy scare that ended in a very early miscarrage. My bf, to my surprise, got so excited and thought of ways of telling his parents and thinking what s_x it could be :( . Now I cant keep 'BABY' out of my head :( If I where you, and you can afford to live off one wage and your bf wants to and you think your relationship can stand the test of a child, I would do it :) Im HOPING to be be pregnant just as Im finishing UNI hehe. I know it could BETTER to wait until the new house is built, but I'm in the frame of mind that if it happens it happens. Let me know what you have decided as your original post is a few months old. Good Luck!
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I feel what you are feeling, exactly the same situation, I have wanted a child on and off for 3 years now, I have been with my bf, almost 5 years now too, I finish UNI in a few months, and bf finishes his apprenticeship in 1.5 years. we have a mortgage and are completely over going out and partying now. we have a beautiful new car and are planning on me a new car this year and also buying a block of land this year and building our dream home on it and renting out our home that we live in now. We can afford to do all this on my bf's apprentice wage, not to mention his qualified wage! I would LOVE to start trying for a child now (im already off the pill, but we are using the 'pull out' method as the call it haha) just because I am the same as you in that I don't want to focus strongly on my career when I finish UNI, only to stop a few years later for children as I dont want them to be in day care. also, I dont want to get used to having two wages and then find it hard to stop working for kids. My desire came on 1000X stronger when we had a pregnancy scare that ended in a very early miscarrage. My bf, to my surprise, got so excited and thought of ways of telling his parents and thinking what s_x it could be :( . Now I cant keep 'BABY' out of my head :( If I where you, and you can afford to live off one wage and your bf wants to and you think your relationship can stand the test of a child, I would do it :) Im HOPING to be be pregnant just as Im finishing UNI hehe. I know it could BETTER to wait until the new house is built, but I'm in the frame of mind that if it happens it happens. Let me know what you have decided as your original post is a few months old. Good Luck!
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oh sorry I just sore that you can make good money from home....In that case I, personally would go for it! ;)
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Definitely a baby bug. I had it around the same time as well. My husband and I had been together several years. However, I am glad we didn't act on it then, because I still want to do so much with my life before children. Finish school, begin careers, travel etc. No need to rush. Once you have a baby, there is no going back...wait until you're at least 25.
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As much as I want a baby now, I know we will wait a little longer. Time does fly, I already cant believe Im in my 20's! it only felt like yesterday that I couldn't wait to turn 18.
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