Is 20 Too Young To Get Pregnant For Me

18 Replies
texas-mom - January 30

im 20 years old and im still living under my mother. although thats gonna change this august, my fiance and i have decided that we want to try to have a child together. but here is the thing that worries me...i will be living on my own in texas, attending a junior college and working and my fiance is still going to school as well. i know his family will take everything away from him if we do get pregnant before he graduates so that will leave us with very little. but neither of us can get the idea of having a child out of our mids. what should i do??


mtrose - January 30

Since you are still living with your mother I would say wait. When you first move in with your fiance it will be a big change for you and having a baby at the same time will make that change even harder. Take sometime to love each other and be with each other completely alone before having a child. It will also be harder to finish college with a baby, although not impossible, the added stress may lower your grades. It will also be hard to provide everything financially for the baby while you are both attending college, and it would also not be fair to ask either of your parents for financial help since it is your desicion and they dont really get a say in it.


QUEEN20 - March 11



Teddyfinch - March 12

i would say wait a little bit. being in mom's house is hard enough and yet i doubt they'll take everything away from him if it would jeopardize the health of a child. how long until you are out of college? and you say you will be living on your own? with fiance? or by yourself until he finishes school?


photonicwoman - March 20

I'll be 20 years old in June and I just had a baby last Thursday!!! My little one was conceived 5 months into marriage. Well, I think you should wait and I think that is what you think too but the thought of being a mother/parent is overwhelming right? It's a wonderful thing to be a mom but for the sake of your future baby and husband, wait until you're married. I guarantee if you do this, the excitement and joy will be 100% more if you wait on him. Either way, you won't regret it because when you see their little face it will all be worth it, but it's better to have happy memories from all of this. So, don't start a family w/o being out of your family first because having a baby means starting your OWN family, not adding another one to your Mom. Good Luck!!!


SpringdaleKittyMama - March 21

There really is no right age to have a family, but you do need to be ready to have a are engaged and ready to start college? How much can you really give a child when you dont even have you're own place to live, part of the responsiblilty for having a baby is wanting to have a child for that child, it seems that you're reasons are kind of selfish, if you were accidently pregnant thats one thing, but to attempt to get pregnant now is kind of selfish if you dont have a full time job and education and cant provide a home!


Brenna - May 7

Why do you want to have a baby right now?You need to see if you are compatible as a married couple.When I got married,I got the shock of my life,because it isn't the same as when you are engaged.Who is going to take care of your baby when you're in school?Are you willing to let some daycare worker be there instead of you,when your baby rolls over for the first time and you aren't there to see it?What about when your baby says her first word,and you don't get to hear it,because you are in a cla__sroom somewhere.These are precious memories,that you can never get back.Having a baby is hard enough,without purposefully making it harder on yourself.I don't understand why these people want to have kids before marriage,in my opinion that is an accident,not something you try to do on purpose.I had no desire for kids before I got married,maybe I was just happy enough with my relationship,that I didn't need to try to fill the gaps with kids.


haishasmom - May 16

I would say wait till you are married and living on your own. I know how it is to be living with family with a baby. I had my little girl while I was living with my mother-in-law, and my little boy when we were living with some friends. Now we are in our own place and expecting another little boy, and I feel ALOT more relaxed living in my own place. There really is no right age to have a baby. I was 18 when I have my first little one, and now at 21 having my 3rd baby on my 22nd birthday, I would not go back and change anything. They are my little pride and joy.


klove21 - June 26

Yes, WAY too young....finish your dreams, because when you have a baby, you might not finish what you started.


angelborn - July 9

I would honestly wait. I was the same way at 20, In school, engaged and we both wanted to have a child. I was attending college and he was a mid way threw. So we decided to wait, I'm 23, been married for 2 years In August and graduated from college. He will be finishing the beginning of next year around Feb. The worst part Is over and I have a steady job. Worked out 10x better lol. Wait, its your best way to go. Financially, mentally and In ways psychically :)


beth22b - July 10

I was in college and engaged when I had my first child at the age of 20. We made it. I got pregnant in September, we got married in November as planned and she was born in June. It wasn't easy...but we did it. It is A LOT harder to finish school. I had to work part time and go to cla__s to make ends meet. I did it and graduated with a Bachelor's when she was three. However, I sacrificed a lot of time with her. With that said, I went onto have our second when we were 26. Wow...what a different six years makes! I have been tons more patient with my second child that I was with my first. Just a lot more grown up I guess. I have a real job now so money isn't tight. I have more time with them and don't feel so much guilt for being away. So you can have a baby now and do just fine. But you will feel less guilt later down the road when you realize you still had some growing up to do yourself, if you wait a couple years. Only you know your limitations and what you can handle. Really think about it before you make a decision. My first is 8 years old now and perfect. We are expecting number three in August.


ca__sandralynn - July 19

I'm 18 and TTC. Age doesn't have anything to do with whether or not you will be a good mother. If you are at a point in your life at which you are emotionally, mentally, and physically ready and capable of caring for and nurturing a child, then try. I know that that feeling of wanting a baby never goes away, it only gets worse. I can't go into walmart, or watch tv without getting teary eyed everytime i see a newborn, an infant, even a toddler. My hormones are so strong right now, it's not even funny. It's not going to be easy but if you and your fiancee are willing to work hard at it and really provide for your child, then don't let anyone tell you differently.


jkmix1 - July 21

I totally disagree! Sorry! Just my opinion! I had my ds when I was 18, WAY TO YOUNG! You may totally disagree with me right now, but the mentality between an 18 year old and a . . .say 24 year old (when I had my daughter) are totally different. At 18 you have NOT experienced any life, you may think you have, but you haven't. And in reality at 18 you cannot provide the things that a child deserves, needs, and wants on your own. I promise. They love may not (and probably will not) be any different no matter what age you are, but the abilities you have and the stress related to having a child are worlds apart as you get older. I would wait, wait until you are stable and have eliminated all the stress you possible can. It will just make parenthood that much better, knowing that you did all you could to provide for your child before he/she was born. I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but seriously just my opinion, from someone who has been there.


katebait - January 22

i'm 21 and although i dropped out of college about a year ago, I am living with my parents and pregnant. I wouldnt jump right into moving out thought, my parents are the biggest support system I have, they are there for me, they help me, and they understand. where as in my bf (your fiance also) may not completely understnad the mood swings and everything. Trust me there is NO right age to have kids, I honestly think nooone is ever really completly ready for one. and I definatally wasnt expecting mine on BC pills and condoms, random odds but here i am. I suggest you take it slow honestly... Your engaged and going to school and happy. Thats awesome for you, a child will make things harder, and may strain your relationship with your fiance. Finish School get married, then talk about children. Dont be too quick to grow up cuz coming from someone who is 21 and pregnant, it sucks to have to do all the growing up in 9 months.


kellyloveslucas - February 12

You know this answer already in your heart. As for age of parenthood, it does not matter, You can be 15 and be one of the best mothers in the would and you can be 40 and the one of worst, that depends on you, how mature you are and how you feel about raising children.


Amanda_ - February 13

I would definetly suggest you wait. Believe me, I know what it's like to want a child so badly, but it is going to be so much easier to have the child after college, when you are on your own and preferably married. Which you obviously have the intention of. I considered getting pregnant when I was engaged and thought better of it. I would rather enjoy just being married for a while, and I am glad that I did. You even stated that everythingn would be taken away from you. Why risk that and just take things one at a time.


Brooklyn27 - November 8

Honestly I'm 20 as well and my boyfriend and I want a child to but I think in your shoes still living at home with your parents and going to school is not the best time to get pregnant. When I was 18yrs. I got pregnant and I had an ectopic pregnancy and I think it was a blessing in disguise. I think back now and living at home with my parents, you I had a job job but still when I have kids I want to be on my feet as I am now. Trust me when you're done with school have a good job and your bf and you live in your own place together and know each others nasty habits in and out and trust me you don't know til you leave with them. Anyways it'll be a lot better and easier for you and your baby.



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