Try For A Baby At 48

39 Replies
jeanniek - December 4

I will be 48 soon and have 3 healthy children of 26, 23 and 17. I recently married and my husband is 11 years younger than me. he also has a healthy child aged 3 (doesn't see much) from a previous relationship. i have started to have very strong urges that i want another child. emotionally and physically i feel ready for this. i eat a very healthy diet, am of normal weight, do not smoke, do not drink and avoid any chemicals etc. BUT it is my age I am worried about. I do not look or act 48. everyone thinks I am younger and my periods are regular and normal. But now I have started looking into pregnancy at my age the fear is creeping in. The statistics for having a child with Down's syndrome are unbelievably high. also I know I would not be able to go through with a termination so i do not find all the tests offered to 'older mothers' reassuring at all. I do not know if I am being selfish. if i follow my desire to try for another child it seems I have a high risk of giving birth to a handicapped child, which even if I could cope, would mean the life and lifestyle of my husband and existing children would be greatly affected. this is going round and round in my head and I cannot decide whether to try for a baby or not - I do not know how real these risks are! any advise is welcome.

 

lil-miss-saunders - December 5

Hey jeanniek if you really have doubts about carrying and giving birth to a child, have you ever concidered adoption? I know it may not be the same as having a child of your own but it prevents all of the risks that you mentioned?

 

jeanniek - December 5

Hi and thanks for your reply, I really would like a child from my husband. but also I loved being pregnant and loved b___stfeeding and the babies when they were tiny. these were precious moments in my life. it is more that I feel my husband and I should have a child together. for the first time i am with a man who will be a good father! also i am too old for adopting a baby i think - i do not fulfil all the criteria unfortunately.

 

candaceann - December 5

I am sorry but at 48, I would not consider having a child. The cons out weight the pros.

 

MELANIE - December 5

hello jeanniek ,(i would try) is my answer to you,because you will always think I WISH, I WISH, hopefully you have a good doctor who will understand your needs , hopes, and fears,(harley street in london) has very good doctors who will explain all the statistic .but most doctors are pretty well up on the risks,i will hope you will feel ok what ever your decision

 

Buff - December 7

there are positive stories out there, my own mother was 44 when I was born, and my DH's aunt had her last child at 49, perfect and uncomplicated. It can be done. In the end, you need to decide what's best for you and your family. Good luck

 

suze42 - January 4

Elizabeth Edwards, the senators wife, had 2 kids late in life at 48 and 50 I believe. Im sure she is very happy w/her decision. And those kids are adorable. So go for it.

 

sonia989 - January 8

It's true that the risk of downs is higher, but you would probably have a lot of trouble getting preg in the first place. The preg rate for women 40-42 is about 20 % in one year of trying and the m/c rate in women doing ivf at this age is about 50%. And you are quite a bit older than that. However, if you can afford donor eggs, you can have a baby at practically any age. It costs about $30 000 for a cycle, but it gives you options you never would have had, and the preg rate per cycle is very high- about 60%. When you hear of celebrities and rich women who have kids after 45, a lot of them are surely getting this kind of a__sistance. And with eggs from a young donor, the downs risk is according to the donor's age, not yours. I hope you get your baby!

 

orchidmom - January 16

I guess it will be depend whether you will be ready to have a baby at this age, specially your health.

 

jeannie123 - January 16

One thing I would point out is that two of your children may be at the age where they will have children themselves soon... how would you feel about having children the same age as your grandchildren. You may just want to enjoy this time of your life and start bugging your kids to have babies like my mom does!!

 

charmy - January 24

wow... do you still get period at 48??

 

AmericanReject - January 26

honestly in my opinion..i think you should not have another kid...because when your kid goes into high school you'll be about 60 or 65 years old...and thats grandma age...if you like the babies and your kids are going to have kids...then why dont you wait and have them make you a grandma...you can help them when the babies are little and it might make your needs to have a child less....but i know you want one from your husband but i'm thinking its a little selfish to put your kid through that...you have kids already and they are amazing i bet..i think you should cherish that and pray for a grandchild....in my honest opinion

 

intlbaby - March 30

I have a couple of friends who got pregnant w/o medical a__sistance at 44 and 45. Everyone is a little different -- a woman's fertility is usually fine until about 10 years before menopause. If your mother/sisters/aunts had late (late 50s - early 60s) menopause, then I say go for it.

 

javidsgirl - April 3

you know i think if you truly want a child then go for it you see women of all ages having children this day and age and after all who are we to tell you not to right? if this is want you and your husband want and god willing go for it

 

slowpoke01 - May 1

i would say to go for it. if it is really what you want then just try it. you may or not get pregnant but at least you tried and you wont have any regrets later. yes the risk of downs is higher, but i know a girl in her 20's who had a downs baby so i think that it can happen at any age and if it is truly what you want to do then you will be able to deal with it whether or not it has downs. also have you thought about ivf? in ivf they can do genetic screening to check the embryos for genetic disorders such as downs and that way they only implant healthy embryos back into you. just a thought. i say go for it if that is what you want. you cant let fear of the unknown hold you back or you will never get anywhere. good luck to you.

 

Roby - May 5

was married to my high school sweetheart for 18 years and had 4 beautiful sons, now grown... I lost my first child 6 months into my pregnancy. I then divorced, (not such a sweetheart ladies), and remarried, for 10 years to a man who had already had a vasectomy. Right, no babies there... now, for reasons I won't speak about, I am with someone new, a wonderful man... just turned 50 today... I am 47, and I desparately want just one more chance... I feel so young inside in heart and mind and we both have so much to offer a child... I'm so much smarter now, I've made all the mistakes, I've done the whole "selfish" thing that everyone goes through... I want to have another child, and give her, him? The world, raise her balanced, educated and secure. Teach her to recognize all the blessings in life, and all the warning signs... I'll bet anyone who implies that a woman is too old to have a child, is probably in her 20's to 30's... and not to discount that age group, as it was a wonderful time in my life... but, step back a minute and don't discount my age group either... we are women too, full of love, full of life, and full of desire... who cares what anyone thinks?!!!? With any luck, I will have another child, and I will raise that child with the knowledge, wisdom and experience that my 47 years has given me... as well as the youth, wonder and whimsy that is still in my heart... to all of my "sisters" out there, I say "d__n the torpedoes!!!" Go for it!!!

 

CyndiG - May 6

I know this isn't the popular response, but, my grandmother and my mother were pregnant at the same time. I have an aunt and uncle that are 2 years older and the same age as me respectively. My grandmother pa__sed away 4 years ago, leaving her two youngest children at 29 and 31 motherless. My uncle literally had to be dragged off of her casket. It was so sad! I know it's hard to think of death, but it will inevitably happen. I also know that 29 and 31 is old enough to be self sufficient, but we always need our mommies. That's just one perspective that I have personal experience with. Good Luck with your decision!

 

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