|
|
|
|
|
|
This is a different type of discomfort than the usual stuff you guys discuss here. My mother who is 50-years old wants to have a baby. She's been getting treatment from her gyn and is apparently all ready to go. The problem is there's no guy in her life and she said she would never trust a sperm bank. So. What does she do? She asks if I wouldn't mind if my husband donated some sperm because he's such a smart, respectable, blahblahblah man. She has truly gone insane. I mean, what is this: Jerry Springer? But for her it's a perfect solution; she even compares this to surrogate mothering and what not and keeps telling me we live in a 21st century, it's good idea to be open-mined, etc. This is creating really huge tension. My husband doesn't know about this though he keeps asking me how come I don't invite mom for dinner any more and how come our relationship is so strained. Duh. I can't tell him, I can't get her off my case, I can't just pack her in a trunk and drive her to a mental hospital. I don't know what to do. Help?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It sounds like you need someone to sit down and talk to your mother and tell her that she is being irrational. Try getting an aunt, uncle or another sibling involved. The bottom line is that it was probably inappropriate for her to have asked for your husband's sperm so she needs to know just how offensive this was to you.
|
 | Amy - September 17 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Your mother should keep in mind that there a numerous risks involved with having a child so late in life. In addition having a child at 50 can sometimes be unfair to the child because it's hard for elderly parents to keep up with a growing child.
|
 | H - September 17 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
why don't you just tell your mom to wait until she has grandkids? maybe you and your husband could one day provide her with that? also, the insanity might be stemming from menopause?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
gosh that is a weird situation u have. Some ppl in here dont seem like they care that much but believe me if their 50 yr mom wanted to have a baby and with her daughters b/f's sperm, i would be going crazy to. That never has happened to me but i can kinda relate as my mother is also 50. Thats kinda weird so what, if some how ur b/f were to give his sperm to ur mom and all that when she had the baby it would kinda be like her b/f and ur moms baby? and ur brother? thats kinda weird. I would talk to ur mom and explain to her that she doesnt need any more kids i mean she already has a loving daughter and other kids maybe idk ur life, and maybe shes just tryin to make a point like maybe she doesnt wanna get older so she thinks having a baby will keep her young forever? its tough, i would talk 2 her and tell her that its not a good idea to have a baby now in her life and with ur b/f's sperm but if she really really wants another child then y doesnt she think about getting some else's sperm? like a friend or somethin? hope i helped a little, good luck
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nancy, this is bizarre, and I'm sure crazy-making for you. Just a thought, I'm a__suming that your Mom was married at one point or at least had a significant man in her life. Any chance it would help to give her the example of, ok Mom, what if your Mother had come to you 25 years ago and asked if your husband could donate sperm for her to have a baby. Would that have been strange to you??? Maybe trying to give her a different perspective or something? Wow, that is strange, if my Mom said that to me I'd wonder if her head was gonna spin around next??? Please keep us posted!!
|
 | Kay - October 11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Man... Just trying to imagine my mom asking me that is making me want to call the nearest funny farm. I think you should talk to your husband about this matter so he at least understands why you may be acting strangely when it comes to your mom. As for finding a donar, try talking to your mom about other possibilities. You're right, though. This is like a live edition of Jerry Springer. Ask her how she thinks the kids will take it when they find out that the grandmother of your children is their half-mother.
|
 | E - October 12 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Holy sh*t! I am so sorry. I remember when my mom pulled the "I want another baby" routine at 40. She had 4 already. None of us supported her and she was hurt and did not understand, of course. --- Just a fact as I answered a question earlier with some downs syndrome facts: Age 49 has a 1 in 7 risk of having a DS baby. Doubt this will sway a woman who had made up her mind but you never know.
|
 | K - October 22 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
That is VERY strange.... I can't even imagine being in that situation! Did you tell your mother that if your husband donated his sperm the baby would be half his and you are just DEFINATELY not comfortable with that? She has to understand that! Good luck!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ha ha ha cant stop laughing -this is a good one and my cramps have stopped.
My mum had a child 50 but my Dad was game BIG pity kid did not stay! Still nice one.
|
 | Ash - November 7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think H is on to something...maybe your mom is going through menopause. Check into that and maybe support her in the changes she's going through in her mind and body. Maybe she's just looking for attention, and or support of some kind.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If your mother wants to have a baby at the age of 50 (God bless her heart) and her gyn says she's all ready to go.......Tell her to GO FOR IT!!........but FIND SOMEBODY ELSE'S HUSBAND. I think she's taking advantage of your mother/daughter relationship. Guilt sets in and you'll give in. Only to have that mother/daughter relationship to be scarred for life. You may very well resent her for a lifetime. It isn't fair for her to put you in that situation. Maybe you should TELL YOUR HUSBAND. And let him tell mother "NO". Maybe if she hears it from him, she'll stop asking.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I know one thang if my mom asks if i wouldnt mind if my husband donated some sperm i would be like hell no b___h have you lost your mind. i would never ever let my mom do that and im with you i wouldnt be leting her come over for dinner, i would tell her to go to a sperm back and see if she could check up on some profiles on the sperms dads and then go from their . sperm banks dont give bad sperm
|
