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yes i think you are doing the right thing

Well done Ann, you truly are a strong woman and you will get through this. It's totally natural to feel the way you do but from what I have read I believe you truly love this child and would never have given him/her up for your boyfriends silliness. He really only has himself to blame if he didn't take 50% of the responsibility for the contraception. And if he thought a reconcilliation with his ex-partner was on the cards he shouldn't have been having s_x with you. Personally, I wouldn't want to marry him, you don't have to be married to be a respectable woman. To me single mums gain more respect because they are dealing with raising a child all on their own. I do hope he steps up and is a father to your child, but if he doesn't, he isn't worth it. Good luck and I wish you all the hapiness with your growing family xx

I was in the same boat just last year. I was living with my boyfriend and got pregnant on the pill. Between us we had 5 children and he didn't want anymore. As a result He threw me and my children on the streets when I was 5 months pregnant. Two months later I gave birth to a 4 pound beautiful baby girl. She was premature and now doing great. It was my decision to keep her and he never saw her until she was 6 months old, that was his choice. I think that it is your body and what is growing inside of you is a part of you and as you saw already has a heartbeat. I know you will hurt for awhile by his feelings for abortion, but keep the baby, he/she is a gift from GOD and if you rid of this pregnancy and wish you hadn't later on, you can't bring it back. I bumped into my now fiance when the baby was 2 months old and looking back at how my daughters father was and how my fiance is, I am glad it all happened. Just remember, everything happens for a reason, no matter how it turns out, you will be happier with your decision keeping the baby.

It doesn't matter if your married to this man or not. You wanted another child and he doesn't, and sounds like he never will. This pregnancy was no accident, it was destiny! Niether of you are being selfish. He has his reasons and you have yours, but there IS a baby growing inside YOU and at the end of the day, it is your decision. You have no reason to feel guilty, it takes two to Tango. If you abort now, you will wonder for the rest of your life about the child you could have had, and your relationship would be doomed cause deep down you would hold him responsable. I am only 18 and pregnant! I had so many plans in my life that will have to go on hold, I will struggle and I will make mistakes, but I'm going to be a mum! and he's worried about being too old to raise another child! All the negetive thoughts he has about having another baby is all very natural...but it doesn't have to go that way. Every time is different. Remember when you had your first...now imagen life without him! Men can come and go, but family is forever! You can't replace that kind of love!

Wow! Amy you sound like a very responsible and mature young woman, I wish I would have had your courage when I was 18! I was 19 when I got pregnant and my family said I would have to marry my boyfriend and he said he didn't want to have a baby, and I was left alone to cry and hold my tummy as I knew there was a baby growing inside of me. I ended up getting an abortion afraid of what was to come, and to this day going on 26 I wonder about that little fetus!! I have even expressed my deepest thoughts in college in poetry cla__ses of the deep pain I felt during that process, which I think gave some of the girls some good insight. I know there are many on this site that are against abortion and I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but at the time it seemed that was my only choice! Keep the baby Ann!! You sound like a wonderful mother and who knows he may come through once the baby is born!!! My husband and I are trying as of last month and I only hope the lord will forgive me for my sins and bless me with another child!!!

I am so sorry for the terribly tight spot that you have found yourself in, it really makes me appreciate my own situation when I hear about heart-tugging things such as this. Unfortunetly for this man in your life, he has still not learned at his age that abortion is not a form of birth control. Although all too often we as women forget how helpless it must feel to be a man and have no decision over his future and the future of his offspring we must also remind him that S_x can equal babies and it is never a given, even if it was discussed at length prior to getting "knocked up", that a women can always terminate a pregnancy if it is not wanted/planned. As a responsible adult who is in a s_xual relationship, he KNEW that this could have happened and crying selfishly, with no regard for you or his unborn child is unfair. He is being selfish for crying his heart out to you. All he is doing is mourning what HE may be losing and sacrificing. It hasn't occured to him that the real issue is you. This is your body, a body that has already bore you a child and a body that will ultimately mourn the loss of this one. He has failed to see the emotional trauma that this is going to cause you and the resentment that you would no doubt feel towards him later (and rightly so too!) On the other hand, a child should never be forced on someone or, be made an obligation. Children aren't stupid and although you know that this man is good to the two children you share between you, this one would be born under different and much more negative circ_mstances and, just as you would resent him for forcing an abortion, he would resent you for having it. Worse still, it wouldn't go unnoticed by your child. Yes, he is responsible financially. There is no way around this and he must pay child support but, this cannot be said for his affections as a devoted father. It is obvious that the real reason he is concerned about you having a baby is because of his cheating. Most of his crying and "throwing up" was due to his worry of the ex and work finding out. What is your situation at work? Was no one aware that you were dating for 3 yrs (my other half and I were in a very similar situation when we first got pregnant) or, are one of you supervisors? You are going to have to answer questions about "who's the father?" when you come out at work so this is why I ask. As for being a single Mom, a baby would much rather have one stable, happy parent then two miserable parents who do not like each other and didn't want him/her to begin with. Good for you for standing your ground and being a strong women! It happens all too little in these times when women feel that a unfaithful and unloyal man is better than being on their own.

Please choose life. Remember that God gives you blessing at the right time he is never off. Ask your boyfriend to read up on abortion (facts) and maybe then he'll understand. God bless you and your child.

The blood of jesus is strong enough to wash away all ain. That's good you are keeping the baby, but have you asked the lord to forgive you for having s_x before you were married? If you do, he will.

eeeeeeasy liz! this isn't sunday school.

grow up liz, no-one gives a stuff what 'the lord' thinks

i feel for your situation. i am proud of you for chosing to keep this baby. keep god at yourside, he will guide you through.

God bless you for loving your baby. It is a baby and there is no reason mothers should be killing there children. Everything else will be fine, and life will move on. But if you aborted your child there is so much grief and depression - even suicide related to post-abortive women. Please look at this before even considering abortion. I was told to abort my first child by my doctor and I didn't listen. We had precious moments with her, and I am now expecting baby number 6. We have had four healthy children since her loss. God is good if you follow His will and love His children.

I have gone through a similar situation, and i know exactly what you are feeling. I am married, my husband is 40 and I am 39, this is my second marriage, I have 4 kids to my 1st husband, my husband has 1 child. He insisted that we were too old to be having more children and that he didn't want to be and 'older' dad and insisted that i terminate the pregnancy. I felt very unsupported and very torn about what i should do. As soon as i have my first ultrasound to establish how far along i was, my mind was made up as soon as i saw that precious baby growing in me. I was prepared to leave my husband, even if it meant ending my marriage and being a single parent again. I am now 30 weeks pregnant and now my husband is really looking forward to having this baby, he knew he was going to lose me so he made the choice to stand by me. It was a really tough time, but I am SO GLAD that i chose to keep this baby, and i certainly don't think we are 'too old' to be parents. Do what your heart tells you...don't let this man sway your decision, even if he uses emotional blackmail against you, tell him you need his support and if he can't give you that, then you may have to consider relationship counselling and establish wether this relationship can last.

Reading your story makes me think about my own situation right now. Although I'm only 19 I just found out three days ago that I am pregnant and my apparent boyfriend of two years also wants me to have an abortion. The first day I told him I was pregnant he said he would support me no matter what i decided and he rea__sured me he loves me. Since then I've seen him once and long story short if I don't have an abortion he won't be with me. He never calls anymore and I live on my own and work as an exotic dancer. My thoughts: theres no way I could go through with aborting my baby, so does make it wrong that I'm planning on having a child without a father? I would also like your opinion too. The negative I know he won't be there for me financially or emotionally. I may not have all the money in the world I would like to give my baby but he'll have all the love and security the baby could want. Scared and confused could use some advice from a single mother. P.S. There's no doubt in my mind that you are doing the right thing!

if he doesnt want it that badly why not gve it up for adoption? but if you want it well by all means keep it. you're right! after 3 years of course there was always the chance...

To Lost and Confused.... As you are aware from my story, I got pregnant when I was 17 and had my son at 18 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I honestly beleive that if God would not have blessed me with my son, I would be dead or living on the streets somewhere. Before I got pregnant with him,. I was doing drugs and drinking all the time , living off of my parents and doing things I had no business doing at all. I know in my heart that me getting pregnant was God's way of making me slow down. Here I am 6 years later with a great job of 5 years, my own apartment with beautiful things in it, my own truck, etc.....I would have never accomplished half the things that I have if I didnlt have my son. He is the light of my life and although his father does get him every other weekend, he does not pay child support (he chooses to not work) Yes, it is hard at times but you find a way to make it and I know that God will never give a person more than they can handle. Don't get me wrong, I am Pro Choice but give that life inside of you a chance.... Hope that helps and good luck with your decision!