Pregnancy Info HOME

Zee, I did not think of it that way, and you are right.

How surprising Houtan (a man) and Jamie (a twit - probably a man) advocate "keep it, but dont charge me for it" theories. Only one problem there, children cost MONEY. And this child, though unplanned, was unplanned by BOTH PARTIES, so why should only the mother be responsible for the baby? It is not a crime to refuse to abort or adopt, but keeping that baby means you must be realistic. You will be out on maternity leave, then will you be able to go back to that job? Who pays the bills while you are at home? Who will fund the day-care? Can you afford the diapers, clothes, accessories, and living expenses that children require? Do you expect your parents to fund them? They didn't sleep with you, after all... and probably have their own needs to look after. The "I'll do it on my own" works if you have a high degree of selflessness and a good paying job - but few do. I wish you all the luck and best wishes, but you must sit down and decide what you CAN AFFORD to do and what you WANT to do, sometimes there is a difference. If you decide to have and keep this baby, be firm about making sure this baby is cared for, financially and emotionally. Dont get pressured into letting him off the hook. You will most a__suredly need that help.

Dang, E, I just reread this post and looked up what you were replying to, and saw the dates.... I HATE it when the thread is almost nine months old. I got all worked up over nothing that hasn't already been resolved. I wonder what eventually happened though.... like reading a book and stopping two chapters from the end, ya know?

Throwing up and bawling like a baby sounds like a very manipulitive behavior. I am facing the same issue with my boyfriend.

LMAO kris. I know what you mean. I have been on the board for so long, I actually remember when this was posted. I used to get involved in the abortion debate but it was always a dead end. Definitely a tail chase on this debate. BTW - Ann did update this in January, I just noticed it. Looks like she kept her baby:)

YES

Don't do it if it's not what you feel is right. I was in the same postion with my first son. I got all the way to the stairs of the abortion clinic ( I am pro-choice by the way) and just couldn't do it. He was so upset at me. He said horrid hurtfull things. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. But I kept thinking, me and this child were going to be mother and child forever. Was I going to be with this man forever? I wanted to think I'd be, but in my heart I knew I wouldn't . I was only 20, working at taco bell of all places and living with him in his parents bas____nt. I risked alot doing what I did. About a year after my son was born we married. He stuck around for five months after that then left me for the girl who was my maid of honor at my wedding. It was awfull, the worst was he wanted nothing to do with his son. That hurt the worst. But I loved my little son from the moment I knew he was there. He is 14 now, I am remarried and have 2 more sons. My husband now has been a wonderful father to my son. I would have missed out on so much love if I had gone and had that abortion. My son and I are very close. My husband and I are grateful that his biological father does leave us alone. You need to kick this guy to the curb if he won't support you during this time. He knew the possibility of having a baby. We all do, anytime you have s_x you could be creating life (barring sterility) If he can't take joy in the fact he has find someone who can!! Or just take joy in it yourself. Don't worry about the people at work.Be happy and hold your self up with pride. Your gonna be somebody's mom. good luck and Congratulations

I wish I had read this thread. I honestly do. My thread is "Need to Vent" If I had enough courage as you, I probable would not have miscarried. I allowed my life to become stressfull and not healthy. I believe that if I had done things over I would never allowed my x to move back in & my child would be still alive. I would still be pregnant right now. You do what is in your heart and he can't love you for that then he is not worth keeping. You & that child should be the only thing that is that important.

Hello well first of all he should not be crying or mad about the situation because he know the risk just like you did of when you have s_x that a baby might come from that!!! Now it do not matter rather he wants a kid you and him been together for 3 years and in a relationship you make sacrifices he is supposed to be there for you no matter what happened, let him know exactly how you feel because that is your body and more of your decision!! and no you are not ruining his life he is ruining his own life because when that beautiful baby come along he is goign to ever regret saying that he did not want the baby!!! I am sorry to say this but he is an poor excuse of a man becuase i real man would have not said that he would have stepped up to the plate and knew what he had to do !!! when you an him first got together didi you tell him that you wanted kids because if you did then he already knew what it was.Some years ago i was in the sam predic_ment with my ex he had an 12 year old and did not want no more kids but he knew i wanted one so when i thought i was pregnant you know what he said to me well you know what you are going to have to do I said no what he said get rid of it,It took all that i had inside me not to strangle him i was so p__sed i really cursed yes i did cry about becuase i was more hurt because he betrayed me but come to find out i was not pregnant so i was happy but yes I broke up with him he was mad and telling me he love me if he love me he would have stood by me , but this situation just open my eyes and made me stronger and aware and this will never happen again, because now i am ingage and we is trying to have an baby!!! But Ann love yourself take care of yourself make your self happy do not feel wrong like you did something wrong because you did not go ahead and have that baby and enjoy life with your kids because we only live once so wipe away them tears and regret , and dump that boyfriend of yours and pray becuase god can lead you int he right path and give you strength!!!! HERE IS A BIG HUG TO YOU ^^^^^^^^^^^^

Your promise is that God will bless your lifestyle for doing the right thing. Never question choosing life.

i think if you want the baby, keep it. If he b__ws you off so what it may be hard to take care of a baby alnoe but it's better then being with someone who doesn't want the child. If you are happy then just do it. if you don't want it give it up for adoption.

the choice is up to you. if you make the decision to have the child against the father's strong wishes, it will almost certainly cause problems between the two of you, and it may lead to the father resenting the child - what if the father abandons you, your son, and your newborn? i think that if you choose to go have the baby, you have to understand that the baby's father has made it clear that he doesn't want it, and he may walk out of your lives forever.

your boyfriend cannot force you to have an abortion. I bet once he sees his new little baby he will be overwhelmed with joy..and if you were to abort your baby without wanting to just cause of him you will most likely regret it for the rest of your life. You are doing the right thing by following your heart. Good luck

im 16 and pregnant with a 28 yr old should i keep it? i want to

I fee your pain, sweetie! I'm in pretty much the same boat. I'm 7wks along and just told him days ago. He's not by bf and it was one time and we were protected. He absolutely doesn't want it and i do. We sound like we're pitching sales at eachother like we're selling a car. He even finds less painful abortion methods in hopes I will cave. Like whether sucking it out or poisoning it will make a difference. I too have seen the sonogram and it's an immediate difference in how you view the pregnancy. You truly know and see that you are. I feel pressure as you, but stand your ground, girl. He has an option as you do. At one point I was so frustrated not wanting him upset that I was about to just give in, but then I realized that everytime I talked about having an abortion I would finish the sentence with remarking that it would be easier for him. What about me? And what about you? Look deep at what YOU really want...I think you already know!

You guys do realise that this message was put here in November 2004! - I'm sure she has made her decision by now