Preggo Wife Kicked Me Out Wants Divorce But Mixed Signals
5 Replies
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I freaked out when my wife got pregnant (like a lot of men do), happened about a month and a half after we got married. We argued a lot and both decided it was best if I moved out and we attended marriage counseling. Now she says she wants a divorce even though in November we slept together a few times and spent a lot of time together. In December she didn't want me around, didn't contact me on my birthday, made me drop off xmas presents on the porch and wouldn't let me see her or my step son. However she told the marriage counselor she told the marriage counselor she just needs space from me and the counseling. She has told me that she wants me to change my ways for me and for our baby, which I am trying to do.
She didn't want me to go to the ultrasound with her, sent text pics of it to my family and told them not to tell me the gender. She invited me over so we could watch the video, we held hands she let me touch her stomach and I cried when I saw the video afterwards she crushed me and told me she STILL wanted a divorce. I don't understand why she wanted to have that "moment" with me then?...when she could've let me watch the video on my own.
I told her that I would look in to giving her a divorce if it was what she wanted, because I heard that it can happen while the woman is pregnant in some cases. But she said she doesn't want to worry about it until after the baby is born.
Her sister says she is being cold to everyone not just me.
My question is this....Is it true that sometimes after a woman has the baby and she sees how well her estranged husband takes to fatherhood and the hormones are gone do women sometimes have a "change of heart"?
I'm giving her the space she asked for, trying to be there financially when she needs it and help in anyway that I can, and get everything including myself together for the birth of my son but this tears me up. What do I do?
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Ugh....sometimes women get worse after pregnancy...the whole post partum depression thing. Did you do something really bad??? Because it seems like she still loves you and wants to be with you, but at the same time she doesn't want you fathering her children. Especially if you moved out at the beginning of the pregnancy...if a pregnant woman tells you to leave...DONT! They are usually testing you to see if you care enough to stay...especially if you've only been married for a month when you found out you were pregnant. Stick around, for the baby's sake...go to the appts with her, get her the food she craves, be there for her when she needs a back rub/push. Make sure she knows that you want her to have a good pregnancy and birth. Maybe she will see that you have genuine concern for her and that you'll be there no matter what. OH! and dont get annoyed or angry at her pregnancy pains or complaints...just accept them and try to help...DO NOT get angry at her, even if she does the craziest things. I'm 36 weeks pregnant, and I found out about 2 months ago that my husband cheated on me...I hated him for a couple of days...and I think about it all the time. But he made a mistake and I've made mine, and i've accepted that. Maybe she will too... Wait it out, and GOOD LUCK.
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Me and my wife planned for a baby and it happened quicker than we both expected, we were both delighted as we were recently married but as time went on she came in from work and started to try and pick fights, i didn't retaliate as i was expecting her hormones to change during the course of the pregnancy, then she began saying nasty evil things about my family which caused an argument then the following week she said she felt miserable and wanted to run away from everyone and everything then told me she was going to stay at her mum's house, we had a big row and she left saying i'd be a great dad and she loved me? this happened at 20 weeks. She's so dry and distant and i can't get close to her, her mum said she comes in from work at night and has her dinner then goes to her bed so i went to my doctor for advice and she said that she has the symptoms of depression, i tried to get her to say to the midwife how she was feeling but she said there's nothing wrong with her and it's me that's got the problem with my anger. I went to see a counsellor twice and was told my wife's reaction to the quickness of the pregnancy, marriage and pa__sing of my mum had happened to quick and running away was her way of dealing with it and i'm still grieving and need support from friends and family to get me through this difficult period. Now my wife has cancelled all the direct debits and put her name down on the housing list, i'm left to pay the mortgage and bills and she no longer wants to be with me. I asked her if the baby was mine or is there somebody else and she told me to grow up. I've been to all the scans and midwife appointments but she'll ignore my calls or texts, she was caring and loving before she was pregnant and we were both so happy, now she's cold hearted and mean and telling me to move on? friends and family(including my wifes) have been telling me to hang in there because she'll be back to normal once she has the baby but i'm not so sure. I'm concentrating on getting the house,garden and baby's nursery in order to keep my mind occupied and keep telling myself that my wife's pregnant and i need to support her even though it's hard, on a positive note all these setbacks recently have made me stronger and here's hoping the future will be bright and our son will get the best start in life.
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Look up BPD/NPD. She may be suffering from depression, a PD or something else. Definitely get a paternity test. With a PD she likely just wanted you to validate her feelings when she expressed outrageous feelings to you. I've been there. Take care of your self and do the best for your child.
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I got it .It's pretty easy to understand.
Thanks.
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