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That sounds so much like me! LOL. I am so worried that if anything happens to me his family will try and take over, so I'm writing a will. I want John to still bring them up, but I know he will need help so I want him to move in with my mum till he gets confident enough to do it on his own. If something hapens to both of us I want my mum to do it. No way is his side of the family getting these! I would rather see them in foster care than with them. I just don't like the areas they live in. I don't like the way his mum has a go at the kids whenever they touch anything. She never brought her kids up, her MIL did. She would be their mum when it suited her.

You know, you don't have to let them pa__s around your baby...she is YOUR baby...if you don't want someone holding her, don't let them hold her. You're the momma, you're allowed to feel that way!

I'm not possessive around my husband's family, just possessive in general. I feel like every day I fall more and more in love with my baby and can't stop holding him and wondering if he's okay even though I know he is!

Well they mean well so I don't mind letting the kids hold her as long as they're sitting down. They always ask to see her and they've only seen her once. I like the fact that her daddy is still skittish around her and he can't take her anywhere cus I b___stfeed..and he's too chicken still. I got a life insurance policy when she was born with my mom's name on it saying if anything happened to us, she gets her or my other sister and nobody else! I push her on my family cus they're so awesome and fun to be around and she's going to be the last baby in the family and I want her exposed to them as much as possible but I make excuses not to go to see his family. I'm terrible! His two daughters just moved about 6 hours away from us with their mother and he's all gung ho about them coming to visit and I have mixed feelings about this since we never get to see them. I feel like it's an invasion on my new family and I don't want anything to do with them like I did before. They're not my kids plain and simple. I feel so selfish but I can't help it. I don't even want them to see their new little sister cus I know they'll never really be part of our life cus of how their mother is.

Now that is selfish, about his other 2 daughters. Please please please don't take this as a personal attack against you, because it's not meant to be, and I don't want to start an argument, I'm just stating my point of view, and feel free to tell me to go to hell. But, those are his children. I really can't believe that you would deny him, and your daughter, the ability to have a relationship with the other 2 girls, no matter what their mother is like. It's not their fault, and you do not have the right to deny your DH his other children, whether you gave birth to them or not. I a__sume that you knew he had 2 other kids when you got pregnant. This is one thing I think you should suck up, and deal with it. You have no right to deny a father his children, or his children their father, whether you think they're intruding on your happy family or not. How would you feel if you and he split up, and his next girlfriend said your daughter could not see him, because she wasn't the new girlfriend's daughter?

Heidi, a life insurance policy does not have any legal value for who your child goes to in the case of your death... In fact, if you give the money to someone other than your child, they are not legally bound to use the money on your child's behalf. I am sure you know this but you made it sound like you are a__suming that whoever you leave money to is going to be the a__sumed inheriter of your child. You need to make your wishes more clear and more legal or his family may have their mits on her afterall...

I'm actually quite happy for people to take her so I can have a break. I used to get jealous when she smiled at other people, but I had to get used to that. I think I'll have trouble at Christmas though, because there'll be at least 15 people who'll be fighting to hold her, and I think I'm going to miss having her in my arms, especially as they'll have her when she's happy, and just give her back when she's crying.

Simply put, that money should be left to your child with a trustee in charge of managing the money. You never know these days and if hard times hit, you might turn over in your grave to find out her college money is long gone bc grandma made a bad choice with the funds.

Oh I know about the money deal. It would go into a trust and she wouldn't get it till a certain age. I know that doesn't mean my mom would get her either but we both agreed she would stay with my family if something happened but I want it written in stone just in case his family were to think otherwise. I know, that's selfish of me. I guess I never really thought about it because they lived 2000 miles away and now they're really close so right after Emma was born that's all he talked about and it kind of ticked me off. I figured he'd never have a relationship because they were so far away and she didn't want them to anyway and now they're close and of course she still tries to avoid him from seeing them and that's a lot of the reason I don't care cus I know she'll never let them get attached to him or I. The first year his oldest came to stay with us I was so attached to her and then when she went home her mom wouldn't answer the phone, return phone calls for almost a year. It was heartbreaking so I just don't want to go through that again cus they're only living here temporarily as her newest husband is in the Navy so they'll be moving far away again in two years. I know. That's rotton of me. I'll try to be more supportive. Thanks.

That's good that it's in trust:) I understand about not wanting someone to get your child. That's how I feel about my own mother. I would turn over if she got Aja. I have gone so far as to tell my in-laws that my mom could not have any unsupervised visits with him bc I am convinced she would put him on a plane and move him to Egypt. She does not know any better....Good luck, Heidi.

I know some peoples' inlaws can be a pain in the b___t , but your baby is their flesh and blood too, whether you like it or not. Try to see it from their point of view, they just love your baby as part of their family as anyone would. It might be different if they were likely to harm her or be irresponsible with her, but it sounds like they just want to spend time with her. I can understand that because I have been on the other side of the fence as part of "his family", him being my brother. We would be heartbroken if we couldn't have contact with his 2 children from his first marriage.

It sounds like my old life u are talking about. I wasn't married to my babies dad. The fact is you will always be closer to your family than his, theres no other way around it so therefore you have all the time in the world for ur baby to spend time with your side but not his. I felt the same with his mum too, i would wanna grab her when she would be feeding her cause to me she wasnt doing it right or if that burp wouldn't come i would want to take her and get it so my daughter would no longer be in pain from it. My babies dad left us when she was 4 and a half mths old, she is gonna be 7 mths in 2 weeks and he also has 2 kids from his first marriage who haven't seen her since and he never thinks to bring them here, i dont know how interested they must be cause they are never here and dont call me, i was kinda like you, they are his kids and as much as i tried the bond wasn't there cause once a fortnite altho they didn't stay here, they wanted him, i was just there. His mother, well of all the love she showed me once baby came i have not heard from her once since he left to ask if im ok, how is alycia, etc so i can say i know exactly how you feel about them spending time with her and it shows me my feelings sadly were true cause noone has time for alycia now besides my family and me When my ex he has some time to spare he will drop by though. I even thought my daughter would change the relationship i had with his kids, bringing home a new baby, it didn't change it much at all. So i for one know exactly how you feel, your feelings aren't right, i dunno why they happen to you like they did to me but hang in there is all i can say. They are 6 hrs away so i doubt u will see them too often but when u do see his kids just try, try for ur partners sake at least cause we all have to make sacrifices at some point and as for his family, the same thing. Just grin and bare it cause while u r together u really dont have much of a choice. Again do it for ya partner.. I wish you all the best heidi and i know we can't help how we feel and your feelings aren't going to change but ur partner doesn't need to know how you feel....

you dont even have to have bad relations to feel this way, i cringe when my mum or gran dont give her back when shes crying, they think you shouldnt give them everything they want! I TOTALLY DONT AGREE when they are 6 weeks old they need muumys love and support

I have this one cousin who is a complete snob and relly stuck up. I went to her house when Ben was only 4 days old. I took my other 2 at the same time. She sat for hours playing wiht my daughter, but as soon as my oldest son wanted to play she would push him over and be completly spitefull to him. Her mam didn't say a ward to her (thats cos she is to spoiled for her own good), in the end I told her she either plays with both or none. The way she was going on I'm suprised that Adam doesnt resent his sister. She tries to get them to fight too. Cos its fun watching it was the explanation she give me when I asked why! What is fun about watching a 5 year old hitting a 19 month old.