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I understand how you feel. My husband is a wonderful father but I haven't had a decent night of sleep in 22 months. He never gets up with the baby. Being a stay at home mom is hard work. I know that he needs to get up and go to work but I need sleep too. He tells me to sleep when the baby takes a nap. When I do he makes remarks about how messy the house is. Blaaahhh!!!

I wish I can say something that can help out. You are probably tired of hearing this, I'm going to say it anyway...It would get easier....The teething will pa__s and you will learn what works best for your daughter. Are sure its teething?? Could it be gas?? Gas drop really helped me out with my oldest. He cried and cried non stop.Boy, it was hard. Sometimes I cried with him. My son is nine now. He still have times when he is crying out in pain. I also have a demanding one year old who thinks hes two.....heehee......So, I know how crying can stress you out. Sometimes its best to walk out of the room and take a deep breathe before going in with the baby. Babies can feel stress and tension. The tension will only make the baby cry more. Try to calm down before picking her up. Believe me, it works.........Husbands......Dear Husbands......What can I say?? My husband can be a pain in the neck too. Sounds like we have something in common. Husband don't think staying at home is hard. It is. My Grandpa said" Its the hardest job on Earth!!!" He was right. It sounds like you are not taken seriously. Thats how I feel. So, I had to set my husband down and explain to him I'm not Superwoman!! I am tired!!! I am the maid. cook, doctor, teacher, and your lover!!! I need help. Finally, he started to wash the clothes and cook more.. Thats after I threaten to go POSTAL!!!!,,,A good threat normally works too....Just don't threaten to kill him.....They don't like that....heeheee......Oh, don't slug him......He will only look like the victim....heeheee.......Again, It will get easier with time. Your body still have all those crazy pregnancy hormones. Baby Blues/Pregnancy hormones can cause a lot of negative thoughts and tons of crying. That will also pa__s. If not, talk to your doctor asap. You just had a baby. Babies don't come with instructions. It takes time and patience. Tons of patience!!! You will be a pro mom in due time. You will see. Take care of yourself.....Maybe sometimes you can drop Kaylee off to your friend's house. So you can take a walk and have some alone time. I think your husband needs to face his mom is too old and you need someone else to watch Kaylee. Leave Kaylee with Dad!!!! I hope you feel better soon. Good Luck!!!

Skyfeather, vent as much as you want...That's partially what this board is for. :) My husband NEVER gets up with the baby. I've just accepted that...I am b___stfeeding so it's a little easier cause I can feed the baby while laying down and I don't have to get up to prepare her bottle. I don't like to leave my daughter at home with my husband, because he does not like to change diapers and will leave her in a dirty diaper for God knows how long...So I put a lot of balmex on her before I leave the house just in case. Like the other ladies have said, this will pa__s...Sky, do you nap in the daytime while the baby is napping? I do sometimes and it helps me out a lot.

I understand what your going through! I am a stay at home mom and have accepted that my job is cleaning, cooking, and taking care of our son. I have also accepted that my fiance has a job...and thats his job. So, I know you need sleep, sleep when your baby sleeps, thats what I did. I know no one can ever prepare you for motherhood but you should have known that you'd loose a bunch of sleep. Your the one who stays with you daughter all the time, it will get better, and the times when your daughter cries for you when shes in someone elses arms...those will be the times where you can realize that she loves you and knows she can depend on you. I guess thats the best part about being a mom, my son looks at me non-stop throughout the day when I clean, etc. He loves me and thats what I need when I'm having a bad day and have had no sleep. You can vent all you want here, we women know what your going through!

Thanks ya'll. I just feel like Imnot appreciated but then tonight when he cam home I left and I sat in a parking lot for a couple hours and he called and said a bunch of stuff and I came back an hour later. I still feel warry of it all. I suppose another problem is I suffer from feelings of inadeqencys (sp) and am deeling with that. I also have a higher s_x drive then he does and the truth of the matter is we have never made love, he never does that to me so even though we've talked Im still waiting. Somehting always comes up. Having s_x once a week or none at all bothers me and Im not the kind of woman to use things to please myself. I just have so much built up in me and Im trying to deal with it. Not to mention Im pretty sure he checks out everything I write no matter where or how I write it on the computer. He knows how to do things like that. Anotehr thing is we are not really married. Since we began dating he has talked about marriage. He basically just put it down that we were marrying. Kept saying we would get married in two months, even after I got pregnant this continued. Its still being said but nothing is happening. He told his mother we would be married in august. Were's the engagemtn ring? Weres the proposal I wonder. He keeps putting things off and it makes me feel worse. I think Im going to see if my medicaid will cover a counsler for myself so I can relieve some fears and agers and get a professional opinion on how I should act and how to help myself. I suppose time will tell what will happen. Thank tyou all so very much. I just wish I had more friends who were moms..

I too understand what you are going through. Amayas dad got up with her one night and stayed up the whole night, then he slept the whole next day, so it really didnt help much. I am not a stay at home mommy (though I wish I could be) and I still get up with her at night. BUT we have a deal, he gets up and fixes bottles, and I feed, burp and put her back to bed. I still am awake longer but he doesnt have to deal with getting her back to sleep. Maybe you could do something like that. Also, what kind of formula are you feeding her. If its enfamil (like we are using) they make these cool little premade bottles and you can just leave them in her room or yours (wherever she sleeps) and you dont have to worry about making bottles. They dont require heating or anything. They helped us out alot the first few nights and a few since then. I am not going to tell you it gets easier, but I am gonig to say it could always be worse. You could have twins! lol It may not get easier, but it will pay off, just think when those little teeth pop through, you will know you helped get them here. One thing my brother did for his son when he was teething, was let him chew on a popcycle. Ya know the summer ones that are like 5000 for 10 dollars or something. He didnt get the actual stuff inside but he chewed on the wrapper with the popcycle in it. It was very cold, but he would mush it up and he could gum on it and then throw it away after he was done. I have never been one to be able to sleep during the day. It seems like when she finally goes down for nap, I have 1 million things to do and by the time they are done, she is up, then when she goes down again, the million things I was working on need to be done again, SO I suggest maybe looking into a mommys day out program. ALOT of churches have them. You dont even have to let her stay by herself. Most of them will let the mom and baby come together, and just give mom some time with other moms. Another thing, have you tried the baby teething medicine? Its kinda like gas drops and you can give it to them LOTS, maybe ask your ped. abou it. I hope I have helped some, and maybe when you figure out a way to get men to help more, you can let us all know! Good luck and take care.

exact same situation here...were not at bottles yet hes only 3 weeks so he cant help out with feeding. but he gets home goes straight to his computer to play games and wont help with diapers or willingly hold him and spend time with him or anything unless i b___h at him to do so. for the past couple days i have been trying to get him to watch him when he gets home so i can get a couple hours of sleep bc god knows im not at night, and during the day hes up and gets fussy and etc. but his lack of help is driving me nuts on top of sleep deprivation im going crazy.

When your baby's crying from the teething, sometimes you can distract her. Put her in a chest carrier and go for a walk, or take her for a walk in the stroller, or put her in her carseat and go for a drive until she falls asleep. Men are just difficult, they think as long as they go to work every day they don't need to do anything at home. When you're taking care of a newborn you're practically working around the clock. And worst of all, the baby can't communicate except by crying. Men never realize how much work it is. My husband just started a second job so I could stay home with our 3 year old and get things organized for the baby due in Sept. Now every time I ask him to do anything (like throw out the broken microwave that weighs 100lbs) he says, "I'm tired from working two jobs so you can stay home and sit on your a__s..."

Skyfeather, I almost forgot...about marriage...if you are getting any sort of public a__sistance, once you're married your husband's income is counted with yours. I know lots of people who have common-law marriages so they can still get medicaid for their kids, etc. It sounds heartless, but it's something to consider. Also, my husband got lazier after we were married, like he didn't have to try anymore (he knew how to cook until we were married, and how to do laundry).

I really feel for you...it doesn't sound to me as though your husband is being very supportive when you probably need it them most, in fact i think its very selfish of him to not give you at least one good nights sleep. You would feel soooo much better.. What it is about some men that just don't get it?? Have you considered seeking a marriage counsellor? Your husband really needs to understand your needs and not 'a__sume' that you are coping with the bub. Try not to let all this build up, it will really start affecting your health. I live in Australia, and there is a place here called Tresillian cottage where mums can go to stay for a weekend/week with their baby, the nurses there can help you deal with settling the bub, crying, sleeping problems etc. Great place!!! Maybe you could find out if there a place where you live that offer the same support service? You could probably find out from the hospital where you had your bub.

They have bottle made already that do not require heating? Please can you send me a link to these. Ive been on there website but never noticed those. At the very begining I was using ready to feed but they still required heating but of course at the temp that it is now (over 100) I think I could warm the bottles by setting them anywheres in the house lol. Last night he took care of her until 4am so I guess that was a help. I took Kaylee and drove up to his work and had lunch with him today and I think it calmed me down and made me feel a little better. When Kaylee naps Im constantly cleaning or doing something (even though I feel like I have nothing to do except clean) the worse of it all we live with our married friends but will be moving out at the end of jully. Our married friends wife does not know the meaning of clean. The stove constantly has food caked on it and so do the counters. She eats our groceries and complains that we throw the diapers in the garbage. The truth be told her diapers do not stink (yet) except for some of her poopy ones and usually when she poops is during the night or early morning so those diapers are in her diaper pail. What stinks in the garbage is from all her rotting moldy food I have to clean out of the fridge because she seems to like to create new civilizations in the fridge with old food. I cant wait till we move. Im hoping when we get our own place we cans tart over and things will get better.

Hey girl hang in there we all have felt the same at one time or another,The worst part is you do start to lose your self when you have a baby and are tired screw the house work when she naps you nap even if only an hour you'll feel much better and feel refreshed then things don't get to you as much.Once you have your own place maybe you'll be able to relax and not feel like you have to clean her house.The ready to eat formula that they have now you can keep it in the cuboard and when you need it just open the can and feed no heating unless you have some left in can.Try what I did I've started to gradually give my 3 month colder formula week by week each time I warm it less and less they say it makes it easier to switch to cold later.I feel for you there were times I thought I was going to go out of my mind.Try and get rest whenever you can It makes it easier to cope and not flip out when your tired it's harder to be calm and things bother you more so Good luck and hang tough. If you need to talk my E-mail is gordons@execulink.com

Hi, ok if you go to www.enfamil.com you can click on shop, then over to the left of the page you will see the type of formula you are using. If it is enfamil lipil with iron, here is the site. http://store.enfamil.com/enfamil_lipil_with_iron.html I really hope this helps. If you have any other questions about anything just ask away. Hint:We bought some on ebay, but be careful because there are crazy people out there that will do things to the bottles, just make sure an inspect them upon arrival. Good luck

Thanks everyone so much. I felt so much better after I vented and he has been helping more. He ended up feeding her a couple times a day now which helps. ANd then last night he finally proposed properlly. With a real ring and down on his knee. Things feel better all the way around now. Yeah Im still dying for a s_xual relationship with him to pick up so I can say i at least was touched s_xually this week lol. Tonight his cousins and a baby are coming up and staying for a few days so we will see how that works out. We also once again talked to the housemate about cleaning up after herself and she said she would. And we came back fromt he store a minute ago and she was gone and three gla__ses two bowls and a bunch of silverware are dirty and scattered about the house- grrr,.

congratulations on your engagement sky, i really hope things kep getting better for you. i know how hard it is i have a 2 month old and eventhough she's not too bad it stresses me out when she cries and its hard for me to figure out what she needs. i hope it gets better soon :)

See I told ya (wink wink) Postal threat always work. Never hold in anger. It will build up and make everything worst. Congrats!!!! So, How big is the diamond.......heeheee...Just kidding