Pregnancy Info HOME

You sound very young kristie, you also seem to be finding it difficult to understand what i am saying.... For eg a child is playing with the power point, i will use this as an example seeing you did.... There are fittings you can buy that go into the point to child proof it....Did u know that? People strongly suggest baby proofing a house too so u dont have to constantly scream out no no no because u were too lazy to move things etc... maybe if u try ignoring your son when he is looking at u and touching the video recorder it may end, he is looking for you to say something.. Maybe if u were older u may understand me.... You switch off the switch, u walk away.... no harm is done and he will soon get bored....if my child was touching the power point i would tell them its dangerous, move them away and involve them in something else, sit on the floor and play with them for eg ... if it does involve danger i would continue to move them away until they got the hint so they know i am serious.... if it continued then i would deal with it accordingly but i wouldnt be slapping them on the a__s.....you asked for advice and if anyone is going through it, you got the advice and the advice u didnt like you chose to be rude to the person giving it......i am glad i dont know you in person either cause from reading your posts you sound like you have no idea with parenting and thats ok, lots of people dont..........Just to finish off for me it depends on the age as to how u handle it, if an older child was constantly touching the video then you perhaps would handle it differently cause they understand they arent mean too.... a younger child has no idea what they are touching really until u make them aware they shouldnt be touching something... To begin with i would tell them its not for touching and then the ignoring would begin if it kept going and i could see they were doing it to get a response from me, just to clarify cause if i knew they were doing it for my attention of course i would ignore it, anyhow i will leave it there, i wont reply anymore to this thread cause to some degree i am talkin to a brick wall who has different parenting ideas so therefore we will never agree.... good luck

All of you mom's who actually discipline your kids, let me give you a heartfelt KUDOS!!! You are doing them an ENORMOUS favor and you are good parents. I believe that kids today are generally completely out of control, and it is totally the fault of parents who look the other way and do nothing to teach them appropriate behavior. And you are right kristie - the generation above us looks completely different. I have remembered as I've gotten older to thank my mom for not letting me have my way and doing all sorts of "cruel" things to me when I was litte: eating vegetables, making me say please and thank you, spanking me when I was a little terror, and teaching me how to respect adults. I am so grateful I had such mean parents! ;-)

I think it is wonderful that there are still moms out there that discipline their children cause just being out in the world you begin to wonder if there are any parents left that teach their kids right and wrong. It is so sad the disrespect and outright rebellion I see everyday in children. I think when I was a kid I would not even dare to think I could talk back to an adult or hit and adult or really any of the things I see children doing today. My child is only 6 months at this time and so as of yet I have not had to actually practice what I preach (so to say) but I don't think I will have a problem teaching my child right from wrong in whatever method I deem acceptable.....One form of disipline I did not see on this thread was standing in the corner.....my parents made me stand in the corner when I did something like back talk etc and boy did that work!!!! I hated staring at that corner and my legs got so tired but hey I learned my lesson so maybe that might be a viable form of disipline we could all take advantage of.......I see so many parents ignoring what their children do and allowing them to terrorize other children and people and wow does it p__s me off!!!! There is no excuse for letting your child run all over you....people say I want to be their friend wtf? There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your childs friend but you are their parent FIRST. It is your responsibliity to teach them right and wrong and disipline them when they step out of line.....this issue of abuse I think has gotten a little outta hand....let me tell you a short story......my brother and sil was in the grocery store and my nephew was acting up..... grabbing stuff off the shelves and throwing a tantrum cause he could'nt have it....my brother warned him 2 times that his b___t was gonna get popped if he kept it up...of course he did......so my brother smacked him on b___t with his hand...well about that time this woman comes around the isle and threatens my brother with turning him into the cops for child abuse and of course my brother tells her where she can get off and darn if she does'nt go get her husband who happens to be a cop and he confronts my brother.......my brother said ok lets go into the bathroom and I will pull my sons pants down and if you can find one bruise on my son you can take me to jail......and asks the cop if his parents ever gave him a spanking......well that shut the cop and his busybody wife up......I thought that was absolutely ludicrous people just amaze me every day!!!! Anyway sorry so long winded but I feel very strongly about this subject!!!!

austinsmom. I completely agree with what you are saying. I think it's unfortunate that there are many sick people out there who do abuse their kids in such aweful ways that now, a simple swat on the b___t makes just about anyone wonder. I completely agree that there are so many more children these days who have a lack of regard or respect for any adult. It's sad because you can't really blame the child, it's not their fault. It's the way they were raised. I look at it this way, there's a difference between stupidity and ignorance. Some poor children are ignorant in the fact that they just don't know any better, they learn by example. As I stated earlier, I personally believe in strict rules and discipline, that is how I was raised, now having said that, there are ways to be strict without being "mean and cruel." I personally think the biggest problem with parenting these days (I can truly say this because I teach elementary school) is that parents don't follow through with what they say. Children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Each year my 5th grade boy students are always irritated with me, because I always allow the girls to enter the room first. I feel it is a good age to start teaching respect to girls. It's so cute because after the first few months, they will remind me if i forget to have the girls go in first. The boys won't enter the room until I do either. How cute is that:) I could ramble on for quite a while on this subject, but really the statement, "to each their own" really is what it's all about. If you have no intention of every spanking your child, that's good because it's your decision. If you choose to spank your child because of a behavior that you feel justifies that kind of discipline, that is your decision as well. If you think you can or you think you can't, you'll be right either way. have a great weekend. I am going to hopefully buy our dream house with my hubby tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

i have a 16 month old baby, and i seriously don't think that smacking at this age is going to teach him, he will only learn to hit others as children copy what you do. my daughter head bangs as well, and i think that the best thing to do is ignore the behaviour and don't give the child any rewards for screaming, head banging etc. he will eventually grow out of it. diversion is a great method to use. definitely do not use soap, pepper or anything that may hurt him or make him ill.

Well everyone is of course ent_tled to their opinion, but with all due respect, a bar of soap in the mouth or a dab of hot sauce on the tongue never did me any harm. And even though my parents gave me a swat on the behind when one was warranted, I NEVER hit other people. I knew from an early age that was completely unacceptable behavior. It's unfortunate that of the kids I've observed, many do not just grow out of bad behavior. They become disrespectful and tantrum-prone toddlers, a behavior problem in schools, and a complete bully to other children. However, there is certainly more than one method of discipline that works, and I'm sure that whatever a loving and attentive parent decides to do is what is best for their kids. Good luck to all of us!

One can teach right from wrong without using physical punishment but that's up to the parent and we all know that not everyone has the patience that this method takes and a lot of parents are ill equiped to be having children in the first place. The old saying comes to mind: You need a license to hunt but... In fact, using a reward based approach to disciplining has been shown to be far more effective for the long term. I will admit that I have gotten the urge to spank Aja's b___t & never once have I acted on it. Of all the times that I have felt the urge to yank Aja or spank him,there was a feeling of frustration every time so I am bewildered by the parents who claim to not be feeling any anger with their children just b4 the spanking occurs. Like spankings are acutally good for people..Please! Just bc they are effective for the immediate moment, it does not mean it's the best approach. I think we should be leading by example and not by our authoritarian instincts. I may be preaching here but I have not read but more than a few sentences in this thread bc I don't want anyone to think I am pointing my finger at them. I have no clue who spanks and who does not.

In case people are not familiar with a reward based approach to discipline, it involves focusing on positive behavior with rewards rather than placing the focus on negative behaviors by way of punishment. The keyword is focus and it does not mean you never punish but you re-drirect the majority of your energy toward positive behaviors.

kristie h- Did you ever rule out any physical cause for his crying? Some people mentioned molars cutting and ear infections as being a possible cause to his crying and I was wondering if you had it checked out.

Hi christy, There is no signs of ear infection or any thing like that. You just have to pick him up or he would just satnd there and start to scream ect. Thank you all for oyur help.

kristie h- Glad he is okay. :D

Let me first say that I was relieved when I read Kristie’s first post. I have done countless Internet searches and I thought I was alone. I am a father of wonderful twins (boy and girl), who are now 2 ½ years old. At about 1 ½ my daughter began periodic episodes of blood curdling screams. As Kristie wrote, “its like [she] is getting murdered”. My daughter will occasionally have night terrors, but these are easy to cope with because they are directly related to her being exhausted. Consequently, we keep careful watch on nap time and bedtime. Both children are seldom difficult to put down when its sleep time. The challenges are what I call the “day terrors”. The come at the drop of hat, and they are random. Three months of bliss, then four in three days. Often I’m at work and my wife calls because she is at her witts’ end and needs some comfort. My wife believes these day terrors are also a sign of sleeplessness, but I’m worried that it may not be that simple. My daughter is filled with energy and is often so happy and engaging that she often gathers attention. She quickly learned to walk, speak words, sentences, and sing. She loves to pretend and she can spend moments alone playing. My hidden fear is that she may have some type of manic-depressive behavior. This is my concern, and this is where I need help understanding the possibilities. These “terrors” are different than temper tantrums. Our poor little girl is frightened. She simultaneously wants me to pick her up and leave her be. If I put her down the panic grows, and she runs in my arms. When I hold her she begins to push away and scratch. If I can distract her, then it is only a temper tantrum. For example, “Hey look, a b___terfly is in the room.” If she is quite for a moment and looks around for the b___terfly, then all is well. Compared to the “terrors” the tantrums are easier. In this case, we put her in her crib, take away her favorite toy, and wait a few moments for her to calm down. If I cannot distract her, then I must hold her tight until she eventually calms down. In this case her eyes are fixed some place in the distance, as if she cannot see me. Every parent (and I mean EVERY one), first tells me. “Oh, I’m a parent. All children scream. I’ve heard it all”. They are often shocked, if they are unlucky enough to witness the switch from toddler outburst to terrifying scream. Then, like striking a knee with a rubber hammer, “looks like she need’s some discipline”. Then, of course, discussions veer off topic to the many opinions on discipline. Sooooo, to preempt the envitable change in subject, here are the discipline rules in our home: - The punishment must fit the crime. I purposefully talk softly, that way raising my voice does just enough for those small potential toddler moments. - The punishment must fit the child. Spanking my son can be prolonged a little longer. When he is in trouble, forcing him to look me in the eye and tell me “his crime” is often as far as it goes. - If I promise a spanking, and they commit the crime, then a spanking is swiftly delivered. Maybe a slap of the wrist or a slap of the diaper padded bottom. This is rare, but moments like the second attempt to run into traffic need to be memorable. I didn't realize I would write so much. If you've gotten this fare, than thank you for taking the time to read my essay.

Have the folks here who have resorted to physical punishment tried something like locking the misbehaving child in their rooms & taken away all toys & privileges consistently before they resorted to spanking & such? And I'm also curious what tactics you've applied in public situations? Thanks.

To add to my question: This is with the presupposition that you've already (unsuccessfully) tried sympathizing & comforting your child if the behavior is from him or her being frightened, not able to communicate needs with you, etc.

MEme, this post is old! My son is now 3 months older and not one person has said to me or suggested that it could be just a phase that he was going through. He does not do this any more and i think you were the 1st person to reply on my thread "Is this the terrible 2's" now that is at that stage he is at i just hope that that is just a phase too.

kristie h - I kinda figured. Thanks! :)