Husband Want To Join The Air Force But Im Not So Sure

9 Replies
Mommiex20803 - August 7

Hi alright well im not on here to complain...or anything like that...i just want to have peoples opinions...views....advice...and stories if they have some.....alright well lets see where i should begin....i am 19 years old and i have two children ( a 2 1/2 year old and a week old baby...both boys)...and i am happily married to the father of my children...we have been married for a year...and honestly right now our life isnt going very far...we live in area that is pretty expensive to buy or even rent a house/apartment....and as of right now my husband is the only source of income we have, and he isnt making the big bucks but we are making it (barely)...we currently live with his mother and she doesnt make us pay rent or anything like that which is great because it helps a lot...but anyways my husband has always wanted to join the first after our first was born he wanted to join the army which i honestly really didnt want him to join so we talked about the different branches and we came to the conclusion that the air force was the best choice for us.....BUT the problem is that i honestly am not that fond of him joining the military...for various i honestly hate being without him so if he was would be very hard (now i know i would overcome it eventually)...and my first born adores his father and i dont know what i would do if he was heartbroken if daddy had to leave for a deployment or even for basic and tech school....and i want him to be there to see his children growing up (and yes i realize that he may not even be deployed and even if he is...its not forever)..and i dont want something to change him and because of that me and him divorce or something like that....and the big big scare...i dont want him to get hurt or even killed....hmm i dont know but i do see the good benefits of the military is that we will have health insurance and steady money coming in....we will have our own place (which is a big thing i want)...and of course my husband will be happy doing the thing he really has his heart set on....i want to stand beside my husband and let him follow his dreams but there is something holding me back...i want to say yes babe i understand you want to do this for us and our family....but then those little thoughts i have hold me i dont exactly have support from my mom....(i know in the end she would try to support me but i would have to hear those "nagging" stories about her experiences) mom had my brother when she was 17 and the dad was in the navy and they got married and from what she says...nothing went right....they moved a bunch....he turned into an a$$ and they ended up getting since she hasnt had good military experience she puts that thought into my i do know that not everybody is the same and they may not happen to me and my husband but i just dont the reason why i come on here is to get some advice and see what you guys think about it...what should i do?...suck it up and let him join...or try to convince him that there may be more out there to offer....and if any of you have had military experience....please let me know how things were with you....please no rude comments...i just need some advice from people who dont know me or my husband and since it wont benefit you any then you'll be straight up with me....anyways please respond! thanks soo much!


britt_m - August 12

This is a very personal decision. I've always wanted to join the military. I came from a military family, my parents signed my papers at 17yrs, I left for the navy days after I turned 18. It does change you and the way you think. It can be either good or bad. I had an awesome job. Now a couple years later, I'm out and I'm married to a marine, living literally the opposite coast, Cali from all our family and we just had a baby. Things have been very stressful and very hard. You have to understand and talk to each other, not let things go and build up. I have no support system out here, we just moved again. It has made us closer and we have to rely on each other more. Military pay really isn't that great even with dependants. We have 2 collection agencies calling us, credit cards are maxed out after using to pay bills, we have 1 personal loan and 2 car loans : ( and I've finally found a job I can bring my dd. Daycare is way out of our budget. You really have to weigh the good with the bad. Even after all my training, equal to a 2 year tech degree +, I can't find ANYTHING to do with it. So if he joins make sure he gets something he can continue after he gets out! The medical and dental benefits are wonderful. Knowing no matter what you have a constant pay check even if its not enough helps you feel more secure. I think it really helps because I know both sides now, active duty and wife. I hope I helped you some. If you'd like to talk let me know : ). Good Luck on your decision.


Mommiex20803 - August 13

hey! thanks for posting...if you want you can email me so we can chat more... timswifey2006 at yahoo dot com (sorry they wont let me put the url)


qdogs_navywife3 - August 21

Sorry if this is long. Just another opinion from the military view. I am a navy wife. I have been for 7 years now. My husband has been in for 12 years and is now a boot camp instructor. We just did our 2nd move well my second move. Thankfully this time brought us within an hour of my family. The last 7 years the closest we have been to family was an 18 hour drive. Sometimes you get to live in some pretty cool places especially if you get to go overseas. We now have 3 children. Well 4 if you count my stepson. They are 1 week, 4, 6 and 12. My husband was deployed for a total of 42 weeks from January of 2005 to March of 2006. He did have a few breaks in there but the longest he was gone was 6 1/2 months. That was the hardest time of my life. I was a single mom and had to uphold the house at the same time. The only support I had was from the few non-crazy wives from the command and the neighbors I had made friends with. With out them I would have never made it through the days. I couldnt work because daycare was just out of the question (even though they have military daycare centers they are still too expensive). Since my husband was on the boat all the time we had email though. Which worked out good for us we would talk daily that way and once every 2 weeks I would buy him a calling card for $20 that gave him 10 minutes to call when and if the phones on the boat worked. We too have bill collectors calling and credit cards maxed out and because my husband works 18 hour shifts 7 days a week we have to have 2 cars which means 2 car payments. Of course they had to be new cars because if they arent dependable you cant go and visit family and you cant afford big care maintance bills. The best part about the paychecks is they will always be there and you know exactly how much and when you will get it. It is not the best pay in the world. My husband could probably get out and make 2-3 times what he is now in the real world but he loves the military. Then there is the housing. I love it. I mean the houses themselves depending on where you go are not always the nicest but you dont have to pay for them. The only bills you will get are your phone, internet, and cable. Everything else is included. And they give you a bedroom for each of your children. I currently live in a 3 story home with a finished bas____nt, 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, a 1 car garage and a large yard that I can do anything with. As for the insurance it is great. 100% benefits for medical and its all free. Every base even has a pharmacy where you can get meds for free. Even things like over the counter meds. The dental plans could be more helpful but at least they are cheep and give some support. This is just the start there is so much more to say just not enough time to explain it all. I honestly hate the militray most of the time but then I probably love it just as much. Each day is different but I would not change anything for the world. My husband loves his career and I would never beable to ask him to change his mind. Sometimes life is really hard and I am alone and I miss him so very much. Sometimes it is hard to sit and watch the kids cry because he isnt home or he missed their birthday or something important to them but I wouldnt change anything. It all evens out in the end and you get to experience some pretty cool things at the same time. I will continue supporting my husband in his military career and keep my head up high while I do it.


c_baer19 - November 3

This is a little late so I'm not sure if you'll even see this, but I say he should go for it. My DH and I are both young, and he is in the Air Force. The money isn't 6 figures a year by any means, but it is more than enough to get by. My husband and I don't have any credit cards, we have one car loan for about 10k, and we pay for everything with cash. We still have enough money to be planning a trip to Italy next fall. The health benefits are fantastic - I can't emphasize that enough! You don't pay for anything, except for part of your/your child's dental. It also, in my opinion, changes a man in a way for the better, but that's just my opinion. I would suggest your husband get into a medical field, like x-ray.. that is what my DH does. He is planning on spending 20+ years in though, and wants to go to school to become an actual radiologist, a doctor, but a lot of his coworkers are in just for the training and then get out after 4-6 years, because the x-ray technician position pays so well outside of the military. Anyway, best of luck. If you want to talk more, my email address is c_baer19 at!


c_baer19 - November 3

Also I just wanted to mention that the Air Force really takes care of and caters to families. They really do have a pretty high standard of living - and as far as your mom's experience goes, I don't think that's the military, I think it's just the way some people are already. My DH's dad was in the Marines, and his parents got divorced right after he was born and he's kind of an a__s. I think that just has to do with the kind of person though, not the military.


HeatherIsHopeful - November 8

hey, I know this post is a little old but I just thought I would throw my two cents in. My husband is Air force and will most likely be deployed for most of the pregnancy and possibly the birth of our first child. He hates the air force BUT thats because he doesn't like his job... he wants to join the Army and I told him go for it.. I decided let him do what he's gonna do, there's no use fighting it if its something he really wants to do. Honestly I personally love the military life style there is a sense of security in it, you know he will have a steady job and is gradually getting raises, there is the insurance which is nice and there is always someone willing to help you out. also a plus to the air force is that they are trying to promote family so they will usually go out of their way to help in any way they can. like I said my hubby might get deployed but they said he could come back for two weeks when I have the baby so that he can be there for some of it at least. anyway what Im getting at is that military life isn't so bad. I know you are worried about your kids but if he gets deployed and they don't understand why daddy is go for so long remind them that he is a hero and they will hold him in even higher respect. good luck to you. -Heather<3


HeatherIsHopeful - November 8

oh and c_baer19 your DH's dad is an a__s because he was a jar head lol... j/k My daddy was a marine and he is the greatest guy I know.


c_baer19 - November 12

LOL - no joke, his dad is a complete jarhead. My dad was a marine also, but is a pretty normal guy!


BellaElectra - October 9

I just made an account ao that I could answer this question. My husband joined the air force, i hate him for it, and this country, and anyone involved with the militsry. Do not do it. If he presses the matter, take your children and leave him. It is not worth it, therr are no real benefits. It is all a lie.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?