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I had pretty intense post pardum psychosis. I never told anyone though and was lucky to have a rational side of me somewhere in there that told me that what I was seeing and feeling was not real. I would picture dropping my baby on her head or putting her in the microwave or laying her on the hot stove. It's horrible and I wanted to kill myself. I was very much alone--I had no family around me and my husband was out of town 5 days a week. I was too embarrassed, ashamed, and worried about the "mentally ill" stigma, to tell my doctor. I finally told my doctor when I was 5 months post partum that I though I had PPD. She told me that until a female reaches 6 months and still feels that way, they wouldn't give any meds! I was shocked. I finally got onto meds at the 6 month mark and felt great (finally)! I am now almost 8 months post partum and have decided to stop my meds because I don't want to be reliant on meds to be happy. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if I will relapse and should stay on my meds or if I will be okay stopping my meds?
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