40 And Pregnant-pg12157942988

3 Replies
bvanhorn68 - July 11

Hi I just turned 40 and recently found out I was pregnant. My son is going to be 16. Any advice or stories on how families blend and what it is like being an older mother. Thank you Brenda

 

Krissy68 - July 11

bvanhorn68 - Congrats to you I am 40 as well and I am trying to have another baby. I would just sit your son down and have a long talk with him. He will be okay trust me. Krissy68

 

Cate - July 11

Hi bvanhorn68. Well, I am 34 and pregnant. But I have a daughter the same age as your son, and a 7 month old baby as well. I just wanted to tell you the my daughter was so thrilled she was finally going to have a sibbling, and now with this new pregnancy, she is even more excited. I bviously can't see into the future, but I believe your son is going to be more like another Dad to the new baby more than a brother. ANd this is good let me tell you why....My sister and brother (10 mos apart) are 13 years older than me, and now that our parents are gone...it's like I have a "Spare set" lol. Not exactly like Mom and Dad was...no, but you understand what I mean about that youngest one will still have an "older and wiser" person for guidance around when hopefully YEARS later you and the baby's father might be gone. Didn't mean to get depressing there. I'm just saying that it's kind of a gift to have a sibbling that much older than the baby. Good luck, and congrats on the pregnancy! BTW....I don't know if it's being the age I am now, but probably so...I am a LOT more patient with this one than I was with my daughter.

 

docbytch - July 14

Hey there. I wonder what you mean by families blending? Are you in a blended family? I am. My first child was born when I was 19. I never married her dad...although at the time she was born...I wanted to. Things just got in the way. My second child was born last year. I was 40 and had been married since 2003. We are in a blended family. Not gonna lie....I am none too fond of the stepmom role to kids whose mother I cannot stand....despite the fact we have primary custody most of the time. My son is now 9 mos old. I am a better mom now than I was at 19.....largely because I really wanted him. DD....yes I love her dearly....but at the time of her birth....I wasn't really ready to have her. Just too young and immature. So.....I did all the right things mostly...but mentally had a hard time adjusting to this little person who was so dependent upon me. With ds it's been different because I was more mentally and emotionally attuned to being a mom. Plus...it's helps not being quite as poor as I once was. My dd is 21 years older than my ds....so your son at 16 seems not so bad. My ss and sd are 15 and 12 respectively. Everyone loves our boy. He is soooooooo cute. My pregnancy was hard.....complications with GD, Preg induced HTN, Preeclampsia....plus my son was 10lbs 8 oz at birth. I had a csection and recovered rapidly. Older moms usually do better than younger moms. I think being an older mom is better for me....but whether or not it is an age thing versus an emotional readiness thing is hard to say. I love both my kids very much nonetheless. Good luck to you!!! It can be done!

 

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