43 And Pregnant

188 Replies
Sharon - August 2

I just took an EPT home pregnancy test as I was two weeks late . POSITIVE! I am scared to death. I have a son going off to college in 10 days and two high school aged sons. With my age at delivery being 44, I am worried. I am afraid to get excited as I suspect the odds of delivering a healthly full term baby are not good.


Vickie - August 2

I'm in the same boat Sharon. I am 42, I have a 13 year old though, I'm scared to death. I remarried 2 years ago, but never thought I would be pregnant. I have my first doctor visit tomorrow morning. Of course, I'm sure he will send us to genetic counseling. My concern though is I believe I may be around 12 weeks pregnant already. The more I've read on the different web sites though is there are soooo many woman out there our age actually trying to get pregnant. I think we can only get the tests that are out there and available to us, if the tests results come out bad, then that is the decision that you alone can make. I wish you the best, please keep us posted. Have you made a doctor appointment yet? Good luck.


Sharon - August 2

Vickie, thanks for your reply. I am almost afraid to get the tests done as I am not sure I could make a decision if something were wrong . I am afraid but happy ! there are so many women who are trying at our age, so I feel blessed. My husband is just thrilled , but I am afraid to get too excited because I fear miscarrage. My OB retired a year ago, so I have to search for a new Doctor...My head is spinning with excitment and worry. I wish you the best and please let us know how your appointment goes. Good Luck and Take Care !


Congrats! - August 2

Hey Sharon and Vickie. I'm the same age and am trying to get pregnant again, so it's nice to know you can. I'm kind of envious cuz I really want it to happen to us. Congrats to both of you. If you are 12 weeks pregnant then it's good news Vickie, because it looks like you are over the first trimester. Unfortunately I m/c'd at the end of last year, but we do already have kids so I'm blessed I know. Sharon, your baby will keep you plenty young, no one will think you are a day over 29...*smile** Seriously, I'm sure you and Vickie will remember how it's all done and do just great. Congrats again!!


Tammy - August 3

Sharon and Vickie- I am 45 and due on 10/28 with my 3rd. I have a 20 yr. old from 1st marriage and a 4 yr. old from this marriage. I was stunned when I learned I was pregnant. I had 2 previous miscarriages. I found out at 10 weeks and I walked on eggshells until I hit 12 weeks. I am 28 weeks and I still worry. I opted for the amnio because I truly trust my doctor and she suggested it considering I had the 2 misses. It was a nerve wracking experience but not as bad as you would think. The results took 9 days (which seem like 90). I got good news and I am having a healthy baby boy. Amnio is so controversial but understandably so. I just felt that I wanted to be prepared either way. Good luck to you both.


Barbara - August 3

I am 44 years old and I am 36 weeks pregnant with a very normal, healthy, little girl. I have 3 children who are between the ages of 20 and 25 (and they are all very supportive and excited about their new sibling). My pregnancy is considered "high risk" because I have some pre-existing health issues (type II diabetes and hypertension) as well as "advanced maternal age". However, I have had a surprisingly healthy, fairly comfortable, pregnancy thanks to the close monitoring and awesome care that I have received from my doctors. According to my doctor, he is seeing MANY more women over the age of 40 who are choosing to have babies--and he says most of these women have very satisfying pregnancies and healthy babies. My advise to you is--Don't believe all of the doom and gloom stories that you will hear about later in life pregnancies and find a Maternal Fetal Specialist that specializes in older moms. Good Luck!!


Tammy - August 3

Barbara- I agree, if you can find a good doctor it can be a great experience. My docors are very supportive although they are realistic about maternal age. At first I was stunned but now am excited about having a new baby in the house. I read much about the genetic testing and did decide to do it. When I went for the procedure the doctor told me that the actual percentage for down syndrome was less than 3%. That hardly seems like the gloomy future that some doctors give you. Good luck with you new daughter.


Confused - August 3

It's good to read your posts, ladies. I'm 47 and pregnant for the 6th time. I have four children from my first marriage (I miscarried in my second pregnancy, which occured between my first and second child). I'm now in my second marriage, and this pregnancy, as with some of you, took us by surprise. I've just turned 12 weeks, and am scheduled for CVS testing in two days. I'm really nervous, hoping everything is well. The weird thing...maybe you can relate to this...my other children are all adults, except for one who nearly is. With their pregnancies, I never heard so much doom and gloom statistics as I have with this one (at least, the first OB/GYN I went to was frightening). I switched doctors because the first one scared the stuffing out of my husband and me, and that storm cloud still hasn't gone away completely even though my subsequent doctor's visits have been good. Has obstetrics changed THAT much in the last 20+/- years? Do you think they try to scare you into terminating your pregnancies, when you're older? Even my oldest child talked with a friend who said what they read about women having children at my age wasn't good. I hate getting creeped out so bad that terminating the pregnancy starts to cross my mind, but I'd be lying to say I haven't been THAT spooked at times.


Tammy - August 3

Confused- I had my first at 24, my 2nd at 41. The pregnancy with this baby at 45 is being treated much differently by he doctors. They are a little gloomy. I had all of the testing and am having a better p[regnancy that women 1/2 my age. Good luck with your pregnancy.


Confused - August 4

Tammy...I hope your pregnancy continues to be great. You have NO IDEA how much I'm hoping mine ends up being a boring breeze, the labor and delivery goes smoothly and quickly (preferably with me having the least pain I've ever had during labor and delivery), and my recoup is awesome and speedy. I also hope the baby is very healthy, and doesn't have any risks of post-birth problems. I want SO VERY MUCH to b__w those doom-and-gloom statistics right out of the water, you know?! It's like some kind of twisted payback for creeping my husband and me out so bad and getting us so upset. The degree to which it was done, which was probably a case of "too much (medical) information", seemed inhuman. I can't think of any other time I've gone to the doctors for anything else and they've been so scary (or, at least, I should say the original OB/GYN unit I went with was that way; the one I'm currently with, while initially running the risks by us, didn't do it in such a bludgeoning manner).


ann - August 4

i think it is to wonderful to have another baby around the home. I thinking of getting pregnant i'll be 40 in Oct. I have a 15, 14, 10 and 6 year old. Do you think I'm nuts?


Tammy - August 4

ann- Nope! Join the club!


Keith,dad of two - August 4

Dear Sharon I can empathise fully, naturally I have never been pregnant over 40 (or at any age ;-) ) However my girlfriend and I found ourselves pregnant, (oops) She was over 40 and I am 5 years older than she. She has 3 other children who at the time were 13,16 and 18 and I had one who was 8. My GF and I had the same concerns which I suspect you have. However we need not have worried, she carried full term and had a effortless pregnantcy (umm easy for me to say, as I was not the pregnant one ;-) ) My GF did state she felt a bit more tired than she had been with the other 3 (uderstandable plus she kept working as teacher for almost until our son was born!!).Apart from this she had no problems The birth was an easy one ( my GF agrees ) And we have a beautiful son (now 6 years old) There is only one minor concern I have is that maybe(just maby) because I am not a 'young' dad he might be able to out run me sooner rather than later. When I pick him up from school or take him to, say one of his friends' b/day party I am very aware that all the other dads and the mums are soooo young, I know this as not gone unnoticed by the GF. If we had a chance to do that part ofn our life again where we fell pregnant by accident NETHER OF US WOULD CHANGE A THING!! Consider this although there is a SLIGHT increast risk for older mums-to-be, the odds of giving birth to woulderfull health baby are very much in favor. Warm regards Keith (Adelaide, South Australia)


Sharon - August 4

It is so wonderful to read how well so many of you have done. The shock has worn off and reading your replys makes me truly hopful that all could go well. My husband is so excited, and not nearly as worried as I am. Thanks for taking the time to respond, it has given me new hope .Keith, I do worry that it will look like Grandma dropping off the little one at the pre school doors a few short years from now, but I can live with that, I feel so blessed!


Kaz - August 4

Hi, I just found out 3days ago that i am also pregnant and i am in turmoil and despair. I am only 5wks and do not know if i am going to go ahead or terminate. The doctor has spoken about all the risks and they are very high. My blood pressure was already through the roof and i am carrying too much weight. Id appreciate any guideance.


Confused - August 5

Kaz, there was another post on one of the Q&A boards on this site and the woman had Type II Diabetes AND high blood pressure. It was being managed during her pregnancy. If I recall correctly, too, she was overweight and had gained only a couple pounds (both she and the baby were doing fine). Your doctor should monitor your blood pressure and prescribe any necessary medications. What may help is for you to exercise, but nothing strenuous. Walking is great exercise! Doing the stuff that's always recommended helps, as well...eat healthy, don't smoke, avoid caffeine, don't drink alcohol, don't take drugs, get enough rest. But, I understand your fears. When many of the doctors explain the risks to you, they explain them in such a way that they seem more like "absolutes" when, in reality, they're not. Let me put it this way...my first trip to the OB/GYN with this pregnancy (my sixth, at age 47)was so traumatizing that both my husband and I still haven't completely shaken the dark emotional storm cloud that was hung over our heads. Unfortunately, as I went for counseling (due to the trauma), the counselor let me know that obstetrics has changed quite a bit over the last several years (my previous child, one of four, was born nearly 17 years ago, so I can attest that things have changed significantly). One of the things that's changed is the malpractice suits, so now you've got doctors trying to cover themselves...and if I didn't know better, I'd swear it was at the expense of horrifying their patients half to death even if the risks were slight. I'm still checking into this, because my counselor advised me to write a letter to my first OB/GYN to save someone else the grief of what my husband and I were put through. To feel as though you have no sane alternative other than to terminate your pregnancy is a horrid place to be...especially when you find out later on things are going well. The information was given WITHOUT an exam, and WITHOUT an ultrasound. Once I went to another OB/GYN, the doctor gave us the risks, but not in such a bludgeoning manner, ordered some blood work (which was fine), and a v____al ultrasound (which showed that I, indeed, was pregnant with a baby, not an empty sac or a blighted ovum, that had a good heartbeat). You may want to give it some time before making a decision, because it could end up being one you'd later regret if you learned those risks weren't near as risky as they were originally made out to be. You may want to do as I did, too, which is to change providers (and I'm not one to change horses in midstream). Others things that helped keep my sanity (what little I had of it at the time) was this board, counseling with an online reverend, and the March of Dimes site (you can talk with one of their counselors). Your provider, too, if he/she is any good, should also be concerned about your emotions as that can affect lots of things about your pregnancy. Anyway, best of luck and God bless to you!!


Sharon - August 5

Vickie, how did everything go with the Dr.s appointment? Were they able to determine if you were as far along as you expected? My first appointment is August 17th and I wonder if they can do an ultrasound that early to make sure all is going well. My insurance does not have any restrictions so I hope they can. I just want to make sure all is well and I really have the baby, not a blighted ovum. I am falling in love with the idea of being pregnant and getting so excited to have a little one! If the baby is not developing correctly the sooner I know the better.



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