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Nancy - I've been away from the computer for a while. I went to OB/GYN 22nd and had blood work done - checking progesterone levels and also a beta HCG test. I got the results back today. BFN. Progesterone a little low. I am praying that it was just too early for a BFP since AF isn't due until 26 or 27. I did what you said and went out this week and bought a package of newborn diapers. I hope we have an extra thing to be thankful for this weekend. How are you doing?

Nancy - AF came yesterday along with a BFN. Will keep you posted on the visit with the fertility specialist. I haven't heard back from you. I hope everything is okay.

I am 36 and I just want to say congradulations to you all I think its wonderful at 42 your not old , your more wise and stabel much better to see this then the teen posts . Dont be scared we are more advanced in medical then many years ago thats why we can have babies older as we live much longer now.

Hi Kim - No, it's been a long week and a half. They could not find a heartbeat and we went back a few times. Yesterday they still couldn't find one so the doctor recommended a d&c. That was last night. We opted to pa__s on any testing because the doctor said why would we worry about that. He said we can do genetic testing "when you get pregnant again". For some reason, that statement gave me great comfort. I am also scared to death. If I can get pregnant - then what? If I can't get pregnant - then what? My heart says that I need to stop trying to control everything and obsessing over everything and just let go and do the next indicated step - which would be to heal from the d&c - greive our loss - and then start over. After a/f just sleep with my husband every other night. And then just see what happens. If nothing more, it will make my husband very happy! I sometimes think I just anaylize things too much and should just let go and believe in what I cannot see. Thanks for listening to me ramble! Please let me know how everything goes for you. I will keep you close to my heart and hope that you have unlimited possibilities after your visit!

Oh Nancy! I am so sorry to hear this news. Please take care of yourself and heal. It can be very draining emotionally. Did they specify you have to wait so many months before ttc again? My Dr. specified 3 mo. How far along were you? How did you first know that something was wrong?

Nancy - the Infertility Spec. visit was a nightmare. We drove 3 hrs to hear this Dr. tell us that I am too old, I probably wouldn't get preg. and if I did I probably couldn't carry it to term, but he pushed donor eggs as a excellent option for us. I think we were so shocked by all this we were silent most of the way home. He did recommend a Saline Infusion Sonogram (SIS) be done by my ob/gyn. I'm having it done this Thurs. He said this was an evaluation of the endometrial cavity to ensure that nothing was left after the m/c that would prevent me from getting preg. We did a lot of crying and praying last night. Spec. said that at 45, I only had a 5% chance in any given month to conceive. Then if preg, a 50-60% chance of m/c. But then started back up on the donor egg option. I guess we had our hopes up for something a little more positive. We have decided to ttc at least three months before considering any other options. I am so sorry for your m/c. I know you were getting so excited. Like I said before, take really good care of yourself and get better (inside and out). I would like to takle the next few months with you. Keep me informed of your progress as you heal. Nancy, you will be in our prayers.

Hi Kim - thank you for your prayers! The doctor said the sac measured between 7 - 9 weeks, but the baby measured only 6. The first u/s they couldn't detect a heartbeat and the u/s tech said it was not viable, but the doctor said we could wait another week if we wanted. We did and the u/s tech said the same thing only the doctor said it looked different and wanted to wait one more week - we did and yesterday was the last visit..still no heartbeat. It was so weird, because I remember one night a few weeks back I was watching TV and all of a sudden I saw like a blue light in my vision that only lasted for a second. Then I thought to myself "I wonder if my baby just died". I told my husband and he said I was just affraid because of our past losses. Maybe at that moment I knew. I don't know. I am so sorry about your visit with the so called specialist. You know the truth is you did get pregnant. All on your own, when you weren't worrying!! That's kind of how it finally happened with me this last time. We were on Clomid - did you ever ask the dr about Clomid? My doctor said we could try within 6 weeks, we just need to wait for a/f to come and that should be within a few weeks??? I think that's what he said. I see him again next week for a follow up. I would like to go through this together also. It feels much better knowing there is someone who is feeling my fears and hopes. I do know that he did not tell me to wait for months. And everything I've read about, it seems easier to get pregnant after a d&c. For me, I'm going to begin surrendering. Stop fighting - the battle of my head - "you can't get pregnant - you're too old - your time is up..blah, blah, blah" and I'm going to start being kind to myself and welcoming my baby. I have a newborn diaper too! I know that you and I WILL be good mom's and that there are two babies waiting for us to just let go and stop fearing and then they will come! Maybe we are intended to go through the whole thing together - Month by Month. Whatever is meant to be I can honestly say today (which I couldn't before) that it is not a selfish thing that I want. It is a good thing that I want another baby. I am a good mom and it sounds like you are too. The world will need our CHILDREN!! Keep me posted, Kim. You will be in my prayers too.

Hi Kim, don't let this specialist get you down. Shop around for another doctor. My wonder doctor also told me that at 41 I have only a 5% change in any month to concieve. He also told me a 20 year old only has a 20% chance. He said while many docotors quote a 50% miscarriage rate, he (he specializes in older moms) says it is only 35% in his view and it is 20% for a 20 year old! So do not let that man get you down. I concieved naturally May 2005 and while I did mc at 10w in July I am once again pregnant(7w). It took 5 cycles the first time and only 3 cycles this time. My doctor told me that it is only a matter of time and he was right. So change doctors and keep trying. Make sure you chart your temps cuz that is very important to know your cycle and when you will ovulate. We don't have a lot of time to spare so make it worthwhile. Good luck!

Thanks for the support. I'm still checking temps. I really like this thread. Everyone is very nice and caring. Prayers go out to all!!

Nancy - when being with hubby every other night, how many days past ovulation do you keep this up? This may be our problem, we stop after 4 or 5 days past ovulation.

Hi Kim - We didn't!! It began to become kind of a "job" so around day 15 we would go every three to four days - we did this for the entire month!! We started on the day following my a/f . We wanted to cover all of our basis that month and that was the month we conceived. It sounds crazy, but I couldn't go through the daily testing any more and get anxious about all of the medical aspects of it. I just knew that if his sperm found one egg that should be it, so that's what we did. That's probably what we'll do again and we will start the day after a/f stops because the doctor said sometimes one can ovulate early and I don't want to take any chances of missing it. Keep my posted and keep me in your prayers - I'll do the same for you. Would you please tell me how long until the bleeding stops from a d&c - I had one before, but that was 4 years ago and I don't remember. thanks

It seemed to be a full week to completely stop - spotting as well. Then I had some break through bleeding the next two weeks, not much but just some spotting. Funny how when this happens it seems as though I cried on and off for a month. But after you have greived and moved on, it is hard to remember some of it. My sister had recommended a good book for me to read on miscarriage. It really helped me to know that it was nothing that I did. I'll look up the t_tle tonight and let you know in case you are interested.

Hi, please dont let the specialist do this to you,change it and dont lose your hope at all,did you use Clomid i heard is execllent. I had mc on April/05,now i am trying agian,i am 42,good luck and pray.

Hi to all the young whipper snappers. To make a long story short, I'm 6 weeks and 3 days. We all need to just let go and let God. These children are coming for a reason. Enjoy your pregnancies. I have to have a CVS done next month and thats only become of my age. I know the baby will be fine. Everyboby, get your nurseries ready !!!!!

I would welcome the book t_tle - Thanks! I found this website yesterday while looking around and if you get a chance check it out, there's alot of information written rather nicely. If you get a chance check it out - it has a sure fire plan on how to get the "sperm to meet the egg" - it says if the directions are followed you will have contact - the outcome, however is entirely up to the powers that be. I thought maybe it didn't apply to me because of my age and because of what my head is telling me! But the truth is I have gotten pregnant without the use of drs/meds & the like - so I'm going to try it the way it is laid out (it is similar to how my husband & I did it before). It made me feel empowered & hopeful. Thanks for letting me know about the d&c. I will hope it goes by quickly and I have a/f - but I will accept whatever comes. Here's the website, Kim, let me know what you think. Take care: http://www.pregnancyloss.info/ There isn't a .com after it just the way it is written here.

Nancy - so sorry for taking so long to get the book t_tle. I sign in at work and not much at home. The book is "Miscarriage, Why it happens and how best to reduce your risks." by Henry M. Lerner, MD, OB/GYN. This book can get very technical at times but it is through. You may be able to find a book that is more emotionally supportive. This looks more into why. I think that I needed to know that it wasn't something I ate or caffeine, or something like that. This book basically summarizes that it is genetic and it is much more common that women realize. I checked out the website. I liked it. Very informative. I went out last night and bought some Robitussin and some Evening Premrose Oil. Starting taking both last night. I also had a Saline Infusion Sonogram Thursday. It is very similar to an HSG, but with saline and ultrasound instead of dye and x-ray. My ovaries had eggs (egg on left side very large - meaning close to ovulation.) I also had two smaller eggs on the right side. Uterus was smooth and looked good. My tubes were also open since the saline went outside the uterus. The Infer. Spec. recommended this procedure since they never did it after my m/c. He stated that he did these to check that nothing was left inside the uterus after the d/c to keep a woman from getting pregnant. My personal OB/GYN did the procedure. I am going to try to follow the Sperm and Egg Plan this time. How are you holding up?