7months Pregnant And Left By Fiancee
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Hi everyone. I really need some advise. I am 29 weeks pregnant and my situation is a little different. My fiancee and I were happy (other than him not liking my insecurities) 2 weeks ago on Friday we got into a argument again about me feeling insecure, and he ended up leaving saturday and hasnt been back since, well only to get his clothes and stuff. He wouldnt talk to me for the 1st week he was gone and just this weekend and week he has explained to me that this is what he wants. He will be there for the baby, but he doesnt want to raise a baby in a relationship were 1 person isnt happy. He wants to do joint custody. all I want is for him to come home. I told him I will change and I have started counseling, but he says he doesnt believe me since we have been through this before. He is 25yo and I am 28yo. He is living with his parents and says he will get his own place before the baby is born. I am so depressed it takes all of me to eat, sleep or do anything. I miss him so much and dont know what to do to get him back??? Do I continue to call him??? any advise???? anyone else going through the same thing???
Kristi
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Before you go blaming yourself, keep in mind that he may be just using this issue with your insecurities as a way to get out of your relationship. I can't counsel you on this because I don't know either one of you or, how deep your insecurities go but I do think it very wise for you to really look deep into your relationship to see if this is indeed the case. If it is, than you shouldn't keep calling him because there is nothing left to plead for. Your relationship is not what he wants and the pregnancy may have something to do with that. If this IS NOT the case and your insecurites are really the issue, take a look at your history together. Were you always this insecure or is it something new, expecially since the pregnancy came into play. Perhaps the sudden change in you is what drove him away. This is a much easier scenario to deal with because all you have to do is work through your insecurities. Since he is still going to be in this baby's life, you must not let any of your insecurities show through. It is much more convincing to SHOW him that you've changed than it is to just tell him. Also, you really need to work through to the root of all this to find out why you have these issues. You never mentioned what KIND of insecurities you have but it's worth it to yourself, if no one else, to find out why they are there and figure out what would make you feel better about yourself. Ask yourself honestly if you ex could have ever done enough to keep those insecurities from rearing their ugly heads because if he couldn't have gotten rid of them all on his own, you were really expecting to much of him. That being said, hopefully he at least tried to rea__sure you while you were together and before he gave up on it. If he didn't even try and he constantly dismissed you, perhaps you guys could have done a better job at communicating. Blaming each other is never the answer, you need to talk through how you feel. In the meantime, don't call him just show him how you can change, when ever you see him. Ask him to come with you to prenatal appointments and anything baby-related and be sure and tell him that you'll give him his space aside from that.
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