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Me and mu boyfriend have been together for 2 years. A few months after we started dating I got pregnant and had a miscarriage at 3 months. We were both devestated and wanted a second chance, but our relationship has always been rocky. he has always been verbally abusive and always had female "friends" that call him even though most of the time he was living with me and we were always togther. He just got out of college and got a great job when we find out I'm pregnant again. At first he was thrilled and I was nervous that I was going to lose it again. Well I made it to 4 months and I feel secure. but his new job has him working nights and when he's home at night he can't sleep so he goes out with his single friends and doesn't come home all night. He does this 2 or three times a week and everytime I stay up all night crying. I try not stress because of the baby but I'm just so worried (and overly emotional). Also we always had plans to get elope but when it came down to it he backed out saying that he wanted to have a "real" wedding after the babys born. He gave me a engagment ring and the night he did he went out with his friends all night even though I begged him to stay. People tell me he is just having new dad jitters and he says my mood swings make me too hard to be around but I think he's haveing major commitment and responcibility issues. I am becoming increasingly depressed and I feel like it would be easier if he just wasn't around. But I'm also very scared to do this by myself and I really do love him.
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The best thing to do is relax. I know it sounds hard but if you keep nagging him and being over emotional it is going ot push him away. Let him have his freedom but also lake sure he understands where the line is drawn. It ok to have single friends but I dont think the females should be calling him. Do you talk to your guy friends often or do you have anymore>> It also sounds like he has issues in the "commitment" department. Marriage is something that happens no matter what the size or the reality or the wedding. If he loves you SO much then he should marry you and be done with the partying and leaving you at home!!!!!!!!! Good luck!
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I was in the same boat about 2 years ago...i was pregnant with my son and the father was just out and partyin a little toooooo much. i got fed up with it and decided to leave and its a good thing i did because i found out that he had gotten another girl pregnant. she stayed with him and they have been married for almost two years now. my son, who is 2 1/2 years old doesnt know his father because he is too busy with his new family. im not sayin that he may be cheatin on you but you should never let your guard down. if you feel like you dont want him let him go. he isn't helpin any how so whats the use. and please do not be afraid of raising a child on your own. i was only 19 when i had my son and we have been doing fine on our own. being a single mother actually makes you much more stronger. if you do leave him make sure that he understands he is the one that needs to make up his mind. i wish you the best of luck! and please don't do anything that will harm you and/or your baby. just take it one day at a time.
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 | Tal - August 29 |
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Well Sadie...
I read your story and.. gosh.. it so reminded me of my boyfriend and I.. how we are... My boyfriend does the exact same thing to me and I am now 4 months and a half pregnant and I also feel that I would be better off without him.. although I am scared of raising this child alone.. I love him very much.. but it's so hard because we're always screaming at each other.. But you know.. It's hard to say this.. but the best thing to do, would be to talk to him about how you feel... If things dont change.. then I'm afraid you know what to do.. You have a lot of people that I am sure loves you and cares for you. So take care and dont let a man ruin you.
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 | Saz - August 30 |
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Girl, just because you are pregnant to the guy does not mean he can run rings around you and do whatever the hell he likes, and if it is happening to the point that it is making you depressed, then his c___p has to go. Your physicall and mental health is way more important than that. Like Tal said, you already know what to do, now is not the time to ever be selling yourself short, you are better than that, and once you start to beleive it, then you are free.
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