Married But Pregnant By Another Man

14 Replies
joanna - March 5

I have been married for 7 years, never got pregnant by my husband. I am now 3 months pregnant by another man ( not just any man i am white and i am pregnant by a black man) it was just a one night stand i don't even really know him or who he is, my husband is never around and now i need to tell him. how do i do that and what should i do


KAY - March 5

If you need to talk you can email me


Sarah Anne - March 8

Hm, thats terrible! It must be hard when your husband isnt hardly ever around! - I think the best way is to start with the truth! I know it is going to be hard, but if you dont tell him soon. . . he is going to find out soon enough. Dont wait until he thinks it is his baby ..that would only make it worse. Before telling him you are pregnant, id tell him about the one night stand 1st. Good Luck!


~S~ - March 16

^ Uncalled for.


Keri - April 24

We all make mistakes. Tell him the truth, cause more lies will only hurt the baby. Everything you do here on out is for the baby.


NIKKI - August 15

in the same boat i had to tell cause this to me isnt just a little white lie that will go away better to tell now than let him think that his going to be a father it will come out in the end these things always do i know how this feels that your whole world is going to be turned upside down but it does get better after i told my husband he did say that he was glad that i told him and we werent going to live a lie were now friends a real weight has been lifted it was very hard to tell him but it had to be done


lifegoeson - August 18

Be honest and upfront including the race of the child. It will be hard and you will quickly learn who your true are and are not. The sooner you tell the truth the sooner time and healing can take place. The longer you hold out the harder things get. You and your baby wil be fine regardless of the outcome and the baby will be beautiful. You do have some challeges and your strength will be tested, especially with the racial factor you will face some judgement, but remember in the final a___lysis it is between you and God.


Lisa - August 19

Be sure first. It can take that long to concieve. So wait and see, have a pternity test, let your hubby know in advance and have it right after birth.


cathy - September 10

i am in the same predicament. my husband and i were trying to concieve since we got married which was one year success. i was getting frustrated that when he would c_m i even put my feet up and put a pillow under my buut to keep it all inside. anyway recently i saw my ex boyfriend and we had s_x and now i am 6 weeks pregnant. i am going to be honest i am not going to tell my x that i am pregnant and i wont tell my husband that the child i am carrying is not his. you may think i am evil but i will go to my grave with this.


to cathy - September 11

You probably won't go to grave with this unless you die very soon. Things like this have a way of coming out.


Marcia - September 20

I had an affair and got pregnant by my lover. I agonized over what to do. I finally told my husband. He begged me to have the child. I had a boy and we never looked back. We are very happy. He raises him as his own. I no longer see my lover. Only you know how your husband will react. If he loves you, he'll understand but it won't be easy. Tell him the truth


mijah78 - July 19

Be honest to him. Build up the courage to tell him by your own words. I've been married for 4 yrs which is not much...immediatly after nine months later we had our first child. shes a beauty. But, I started to feel life as a routine letting my husband know that I felt lonely that i needed to feel him close..we eventually slept with our backs to eachother and I mean he is the nicest man in the world but i felt lonely. we only knew eachother for seven months when we got married by the church and the whole nine yards..i had just gottenout of a relationship my first true love...i told my first love that i found somoene and he let me go wishinig the best giving advice and telling me that marriage was not easy since he had been already in one...i wnet ahead married and movd out of state then he was just in my mind all these years just wondeirng about how he was...i lied to my husband when we bumped into eachother i introduced him as just a friend after moving back...and since we were having troubile it was easy for me to find the time with my ex...he was still single and well he still the same nice guy...finanlly i gave up and couldnt i am paying my second baby is from my feelings are horrible towards my husband who is willing to forgive and forget...on the other hand I cant be with my husband these three months we have become greater freinds and i have had no contact with my ex...he knows he is the father and is still waiting patienlty to get together...i resist myself to try and make my marriagae work but my love for my ex is stronger thn marrgae-just want to also get some insight....from someone experiencg the same.


MelissaP - July 20

Mijah78-You reallly need to delve deeply into yourself and make sure being with your ex is what you really want. I was in a similar situation..but I never got pregnant. I had an ex that was constantly popping up into my life when things were going bad with my fiance and I. At the time I thought I wanted ym ex...but deep down I loved my fiance with all my heart and couldn't bring myself to leave him. A marriage can be hard to deal have to constantly work at it to keep things going. I used to run away from my problems and right into the arms of another man. I soon realized that that wasn't the answer and never would be. My fiance and I have been through hell and back it seems and our relationship is stronger than ever because of it. Make sure leaving your husband is what you really want..and remember the gra__s isn't always greener on the other side. I have come to realize that. Take care!


slowpoke01 - July 24

i read this to my husband to get his opinion..he said that if he were you he would pack up and leave and call your old man long distance and tell him. that way you will n ot be in reaching distance when he found out and maybe he would have time to cool off and think about it before you saw him again..


Unique insight - September 22

First I would like to thank the women for being brave enough to post here. Unfortunately many are quick to judge something they can’t possibly imagine. Having pregnancy issues with your spouse is a trauma like no other I have experienced. I am a husband responding and I can tell you that the concept of my wife being impregnated by another man was not a deal breaker for me if it were to  have happened. Were it becomes a issue I believe is how it came about. I believe this is the biggest obstacle that you would have to overcome. People raise and parent kids not of their own every day. 



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