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Hi All. My girlfriend is pregant. its been like two to three months now ... well atleast as far as I can estimate... cant say the real time cos she have not seen doctor. She is refusing to see the doctor, I have made several appointments for her but I always have to cancel cos she wont want to go.
We use to be so great together, enjoyed each other like soulmates. We were so in love ]]] but SNAP!!! she got preganant. She has turned into complete stranger. She basically hates me, she would use any excuse she can find so that she wont have to see me. She argues its hormornes, but I mean really now?? She has become completely irrational... its like she just have to do the wrong things. And for some reasons, I feel she only does it to me only. To everyone she is okay, I am the bad guy. We dont make love anymore, she doenst visit, if sh did she will just sleep all the way until she has to go.
Her parents dont know yet... well atleast that is what we want to think! We have plans of getting married and have started the negotiations (lobola) ... but she is extremely agro on me. I really dont know what to do and what not to do. Evertime we argue (which is like all the time now) she will say lets just break-up!
I dont know how to deal with her anymore. I am reading some books and a lot of sites, but she is just out-off a normal and doesnt seem to follow the trends.
I love her so much, and last time i checked she use to but now I am her prime enemy.
What does a man have to do in such???
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Does girlfriend have any unhealthy mental health history? Perhaps a cousin or uncle or aunt or grandparents? Great grandparents? Did you have a good relationship before pregnancy? How long have you known her? How long has she known you? If she is in her second or third month of pregnancy, just be patient, she might grow out of it. Usually the first few months are very hard on the woman. She could be having some type of gestational harmone problem. Harmones affect everything! You know how wacky we get when we have our periods, well imagine pregnancy...morning sickness, forgetting things, bad mood in general, vomiting, sensitive b___sts, bloating, going to the bathroom, headaches etc.
And why doesn´t she want to go to the doc? Is she afraid the doc will discover something? Does she hate docs? always has hated or disliked docs? Or did this just start now? Perhaps she doesn´t go to the doc because she knows you want her to go to the doc. She sounds like she´s acting like a child. Then again, she could come to her senses after a few months. You know, love never fails. Long suffering, kindness, words always seasoned with salt, did she want to be pregnant? Is she blaming you for the pregnancy? Was it planned or accident? In any case, you should always take the high road in a conflict. Be the man and don´t give up easily. Think of pregnancy as an adventure in your life that you are now on.
Love is all about be good forgivers and being forgiven. Thats what my mom says. You just keep at it. And don´t pay her too much attention when she spats at you. Also think about the baby, the baby will need two parents, mom and a dad. Dads are very important even if they don´t give birth. Have you tried talking to her to ask her why she no longer seems to like you?
Can you reason with her? Sometimes we are all a little stubborn. ;-) And don´t worry if she doesn´t want to see you that much. Just go with the flow. Love her, be there for her when she needs you but know also when not to be there. Perhaps she just needs a little time alone to realize what is going on. Perhaps she is not aware of what she is doing to you.
You said that she only does this to you¿?? That she is okay with everybody else? Don´t give up. Be a steady kind force in her life. and make sure she goes to the doctor! Without of course looking like you are telling her to do it. Get others to cooperate with you. Can you get her family to tell you things you could do or perhaps they could help you by talking with her and seeing if she opens her heart to them...
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