Baby Daddy Drama Confused Help

5 Replies
PregnantnConfused - September 17

I'm 20 years old and found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. I believe I am about 8 weeks. I told the baby's father (boyfriend) immediately when I found out. I originally said abortion. We even went to the clinic to get information on it. I began looking into the abortion method more and I got extremely freaked out. The whole process is scary. To add to that, I had been thinking about keeping the baby but didn't tell the father. That's my mistake. I told him last Tuesday, and tried to talk to him about it. He proceeded to tell me I was ruining HIS life. Nothing was resolved then. The next morning, I told my mom about it. She was upset for me, but slightly happy as well. She looked at it as fate and that it's a beautiful thing. That day I told my boyfriend that I was keeping it. He told me I lied to him since I have initially told him abortion (including before the pregnancy, I said I would get an abortion if I fell pregnant). I don't look at it as lying, I didn't intentionally lie. I changed my mind due to the situation. I didn't know what it would entail. Nonetheless, I let him vent and in the end, it resulted in the last name coming up. I had mentioned, out of anger, that the last name would be mine as I don't know what kind of involvement or how him and I would be in the future. He was mad. We worked that out, and I read about the last name online. I decided it could be his last name as he does deserve that. The next night, he went to talk to his sister, as did I (separately). She proceeded to state her opinion and say I should get an abortion. I turned it down as I don't want that for me, my body, or my child. When I came home, we began fighting again. He was back on the abortion (probably influenced by his sister). He continued to say I ruined his life and that I lied, once again. I decided it would be best for us to have some space apart and asked a friend of ours if he could stay with him for the weekend. The friend was happy to help. He then went out with him that night and got hammered. He then spent the rest of the weekend with his parents. On Saturday night, he told me he loved me and that we would talk the following night. He said it would be a good talk, it would help us and not to stress. I was so excited to see him. That day came and he ended up coming home at 9pm. I asked to talk, since he told me he would. He got mad, said he couldn't. I started to get frustrated as I was needing this talk. Not only is the relationship for the baby on the line, but I don't even know if he loves me and wants to be with me anymore. We had been rocky in the past. I'm expecting the worst as I'm done trying my hardest. Is he just scared? Is this the initial shock of everything? I'm so worried. He didn't even go to work today when I had dropped him off. His manager called me looking for him as I'm his alternate phone number. I tried to call him as well as text, no answer. PLEASE HELP!! Any similar situations?

 

birdjd - September 21

he is probably just scared. I just found out that i am pregnant i am six weeks my childs father was just someone that i was messing around with and when i told him he was just like how, i havent heard from him since.

 

birdjd - September 21

he is probably just scared. I just found out that i am pregnant i am six weeks my childs father was just someone that i was messing around with and when i told him he was just like how, i havent heard from him since.

 

Grandpa Viv - September 22

You don't exactly say, but this sounds like a live-in boyfriend. I agree that you have a right to change your mind, and he should accept that without accusations of lying - a bit manipulative. I don't know what scared you in your abortion investigation - perhaps you landed in a Right-to-Life clinic without realizing it. There is not much to be scared of in the first ten weeks unless you buy into the emotional scarring theory. He is scared that an LTA with privileges is turning to a relationship that threatens to be permanent, and that is something he had not considered until now. Everyone involved now needs to sit down and work out a budget for various contingencies. Is this do-able, or not? Best of luck!

 

javontaesmommy - October 16

i was in your postion when i had found out that i ws pregnant with my first t 19 as well, me and the boyfriend had broken up a couple days before i had found out i was pregnant and when i found out for sure i had called him and told him the results, he had told me i needed to "take care of it". I refused and told him i was going to keep it whether he was in the life or not, from that point on he had not talked to me for 3 months and i constantly emailed him to see what his plans where whether he wanted to be in the life or not,, 3 months past and it came time to find out the baby's s_x, he had showed up for it suprisingly and we found out were having a little baby boy!! He had tears rolling down his eyes i had caught it,, after the doctors appt we were sitting waiting to make another appoint 4 weeks later, he had admitted to me he was really scared and didn't know what to think and had alot of things on his mind and he had apologized to me for the way he had acted and what he said in the beginning, from this point on im 30 weeks and 3 days and im about a month and a half away from my due date december 24th!! Now we are moving into our own apartment and he is very excited to meet his son! so my advice is give it time he may just be scared and does not know what to think!

 

RebeccaT - November 16

TO ALL WHO LET THEMSELVES BE FOOLED BY A FOOL,I DONT KNOW WHY ITS OK FOE A SAUDI GUY TO HAVE s_x B4 MARRIAGE BUT ITS DIFFERENT FOR A WOMAN,YET THEY ARE THE ONES WHO WANT A VIRGIN ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT AFTER CORRUPTING ,,HOW MANY VIRGINS ALREADY,,RIGHT...IT ISNT FAIR AND THEN WHEN THEGIRL GETS PREGNANT ITS ALL THE GIRLS FAULT,,NO..ITS..JUST AS MUCH THE GUYS BECAUSE THEY ARE TO BE A MAN AND SHOULD BE STRONGER AND IF HE LOVED THE GIRL IN THE 1ST PLACE HE WOULDNT EVEN ASK HER TO GIVE OF HERSELF LIKE THAT,,,AND THEN TO NOT CLAIM HIS OWN CHILD,,WHEN HE DENIES THE CHILD,,AT THAT TIME,,ITS UP TO THE WOMAN TO DECIDE WHATS BEST FOR HER,,AND IF SHE CHOOSES TO NAME THE CHILD AFTER THE FATHER SHE HAS THAT RIGHT BECAUSE THE FATHER GAVE HIS RIGHTS UP WHEN HE DENIED THE CHILD-SPERM DONOR,WHAT EVER YOU WANT TO CALL HIM,,HE SURE ISNT A MAN,,THATS FOE SURE,,AND IF ANYONE OF YOU NEED A PLACE TO GET SETTLED HERE IN THE USA ,,IM A MOM & GRANDMA I CAN HELP AND UNLIKE THESE FREAKY s_x CRAZED GRANPA,S WHO JUST WANT TO USE YOU AS A s_x OBJECT,,I CAN REALLY HELP YOU,,,AND GIVE YOU THE GUIDANCE YOU NEED LIKE ANY OTHER MOTHER WOULD DO WITH A DAUGHTER....hottamalemom59atyahoodot.com.....IF YOU HAVE NO WHERE TO GO BUT HAVE THE MONEY TO GET HERE CONTACT ME...SOMEONE WHO WAS THERE B-4

 

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