18 & Pregnant

4 Replies
arabellamariah - February 13

I'm 18, engaged, & nearly 6 weeks pregnant. I'm a college student, but I'll take a break after this year.

 

My fiancé, his family, and I are very happy. He plans to join the navy, and train from April-October (when I'm due). College ends in May, I'd then stay with his family. We'd get our apartment and great benefits after training.

 

However, my family is the issue. My dad is verbally abusive, and my mom has a mild drinking problem/mental issues. I plan to marry my fiancé in April, and then lose contact with my family. I'd be in immediate danger if they found out, and they'd probably disown me. I'm scared my college will allow them in my dorm (they live two hours away). What do I do?

 

Grandpa Viv - February 13

It sounds like you will be well rid of the family. Are there financial issues you have to worry about? You are over 18 so I'm pretty sure you can talk to the college authorities and ask that the family not be allowed in the dorm. Simpler yet, don't tell your family anything until you have moved in with his family. Here's hoping you are able to finish the college piece some time in the future. Babies take up a bunch of time.

 

arabellamariah - February 13

We'll be okay financially, with navy benefits we should actually be pretty good. My college would be paid for, but I'm planning on taking a break until my baby is 3-4.

 

This semester of college is paid for, so I could definitely stay. However, my parents would find out about the marriage, because my mom would lose child support (I get literally nothing of that from her while I'm away). I'd also be showing by May, and my family would get suspicious if I didn't see them for two months.

 

Markersable - February 14

I agree with Grandpa Viv. PLEASE get your degree as soon as possible! I AM NOT saying your relationship will fail, but because you have a child in the picture, you need to be prepared for everything and a have a plan B, C, D AND E! Especially if you are cutting ties with your family and won't have their support if something happens..ALWAYS be prepared for something to happen because something ALWAYS happens. I know your thinking, "He's not like that, etc". PEOPLE CHANGE. He's joining the navy? Expect him to come out a little different than he was before. Please be absolutely sure that you want to cut ties with your family. I TRULY hope things work out for you. 

 

Grandpa Viv - February 18

Haha, a game of hide and seek with the parents. Are they both in the habit of popping into your dorm unannounced?  With the right clothes you might be able to hide the pregnancy through 5 months. Plead studying for finals and ask not to be disturbed. How is it going to work out when they come to pick you up at the end of the semester? WIll you have moved out the night before, leaving a farewell note on the door? Do they know enough about the boyfriend to find out where his family lives? Things could get exciting! Focus on your studies and for now live one day at a time.

 

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