Left Work Early

5 Replies
Stephanie - June 7

Hi! I graduated from Beauty school in March and had my baby May 9th, I just went back to work today. I started a brand new job that I have never done before. Amaya (my baby) is staying with my mother at my house so I feel very comfortable with who is taking care of her. Well, I cried all the way to work, a little when I got to work, and then I was fine for a few hours. I went to get lunch and talked to my aunt (who had talked to my mom) and she asked I was missing my baby, I broke down and couldnt stop crying. I spoke to my boss and she told me to go home for the day and try things again tomorrow. I was really not expecting this to happen to me. I have been ok with leaving her for a few hours at a time when I go shopping or something, but this was serious, like a panic attack or something, I couldnt breathe or catch my breath. It is not that I dont think she is being taken care of, but I am so afraid that I will miss out on something. Like the first time she laughs outloud, or sits up, or something small like that. I dont know how to get over this. I feel better about going back to work, but I am still a little worried. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get over this. I work from 10-6 Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.I know its not as bad as some of the other moms that have to work but it is so hard. She is only 4 weeks and 1 day. Any suggestions would be great! Thanks

 

Been There, Done That - June 7

Your guilt means that you are a Great parent! However, you along with ever other parent cannot be at your child's beckoning every single moment in time. My mom and dad would babysit my son when I went to night school and I hardly got to put him to bed for the first year. I set aside time to ask them the next day how he did, what he did, and I shared in their experiences with my son. My dad saw my child smile for the first time. I can't tell you how happy I was to see my dad tell me the story. That was priceless! You're fortunate to have you mom babysit. The key to enjoying life is PERSPECTIVE. You can look at your situation one of two ways: You can cry yourself to sleep every night from guilt because you aren't there at certain times of the day OR you can appreciate the fact that you and your mom get to take turns in sharing your child's life and experiences. Like it or not, your mom is also now a parent partner. She is also sacrificing a lot to babysit in a time when she should be merely visiting your child. Don't rip her of the chance to see a first smile, or giggle, or etc. Sit back and enjoy the help!

 

Stephanie - June 8

Thank you so much for your story. It does make me feel better. I also think one of my problems were that I had not prepared myself. I think I will do much better tomorrow when I go to work, I have talked to my boyfriend and decided that we will think about me getting to stay home when my mom goes back to work in August. Again thank you so much and I am hoping and praying that it gets easier.

 

Dore - June 13

Stephanie, I will be in your situation sometime during the upcoming two weeks. I have to return to work as well and my son is only 5 weeks old. The thought of leaving him is literally KILLING me. How have you been able to cope lately?? I have the same feelings as you when it comes to missing his first smile, laugh etc. This may sound silly but I feel as though he would look at me as a stranger and not develop a strong bond with me because I work long hours. "Been There, Done That" definetly shed some light on the situation, but no matter what, when your separated from your newborn, its torture. Please w/b and let me know how things have been going and how long it took for you to adjust.

 

Stephanie - June 13

Hi, well tomorrow it will be a week since I started work, it did get easier the second day and a little easier the third. I think it is actually helping us because I look forward to her in the afternoons and even at 2 in the morning when she wants to eat, I love holding her and cuddling with her. My mom is the one watching her during the day, so every night when I get home and we are eating dinner, she tells me EVERYTHING they did that day from how many times she changed "poopie" diapers to how long she has been awake to any new noises she makes, its really fun, I feel like I was actually there with her. It does get easier, but just make sure it is worth leaving her (if you are paying 100 a week for childcare and only bringing in $200, to me its not worth it. Good luck

 

Dore - June 13

Im glad to hear that it eventually does get easier, but I am dreading the initial first day. Im happy that your situation worked out for u. Thanks for your reply, and good luck with your daughter.

 

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