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Just curious: How old is your husband's child? Are your two kids younger or older?

My husbands child is 10 and I have a 7 adn 6 year old.

My husbands child is 10 and I have a 7 adn 6 year old and we are both young parents.

Perhaps he feels loaded down by the prospect of 3 reasonably young kids still at home. Barring his having a vasectomy, there is a likely possibility of his changing his mind in the future. I can share my own story if it helps. My dh and I are both 39, exactly one week apart in age, with 3 kids between us, mine is 20, almost 21, and his are 11 and 14. We were married 3.5 years ago, and he had had a vasectomy years before that during his first marriage. He was pretty deadset at never having any more kids...and frankly so was I. However, having a blended family such as ours kind of mixes things up a bit, and we began to consider changing our minds about 2 years ago. The result? One vasectomy reversal, one miscarriage I had last year at 6 weeks, and my current pregnancy which is getting close to the end of the first trimester. Still pretty surprised to find myself preparing to have another baby many years after my first...but if the both of you are young, there are many years left for you guys to contemplate the change. Trust me...my husband was TOTALLY AGAINST kids for a long time...but in the course of loving each other...we came to long for that bond that would ultimately tie this family together into a cohesive unit. There is still that chance for you.

how young are you? im thinking of ttc with my new husband as well

Well I am 26 and my husband is 29 so I consider us young enough to start over. Thank you docbytch for your answer. Congratulations on your pregnancy. For me it is just so hard knowing that even the idea of another child is completely out of my hands. He has not had a V. yet but has brought up that option and it just killed me. I wish that I had some control over our intimate life and my decision of having another child. to tmjulien....I don't know how old you are or your situation but if this is something that in your heart you feel you want and your husband as well then i say do it. There is nothing more special than the bond people have between their kids. ... So how old are you and how long have you been married?

My advice is patience and time. At first my DH was no open to having children at all. I have four from a previous marriage but the youngest is 10. Now he sees that four teenagers aren't nearly as much work as one toddler and that we can do it together since I raised these 4 on my own to this point. Give it time and he may change his mind.

Thank you for your thoughts. Sometimes it just gets so hard to be patient. We had a pregnancy scare a while back.. Well more like a scare for him and a realization for me how important it really was to me and how hurt I was to find out I wasn't pregnant. His relief was my devistation. I just really hate not having any control over the decision at all. When we are asked when we are going to have one of our own he jumps right out there and says he is done having kids and doesn't want any more and I am just suppose to deal with it and keep the emotions I am feeling in and agree. But thank you so much for your response...it is nice to know that there are men that start off dead set against anymore and later change their perspective........I can only hope!

Missyann...just curious...was there some sort of verbal agreement at the start of your marriage that you two would NOT even consider having kids? What are his reasons for not wanting any more?

No there wasn't any agreement between us on the issue. He says he just doens't want any more kids. He took on the resposibility of raising a child at that wasn't his and then had one of his own at 19 and says that he doesn't want any more because he doesn't start over. I think it is because it is because he chose to become a dad so young and can't wait for the day to just be a couple. I don't really know. He says that he doesn't want the added responsibility and just want to be able to take care of the ones we have. I didn't even consider kids at the beginning but now I really want one of our own but he is extremely closed minded to the issues. We just completely fight about the entire issue. He said if it was just to happen he would be okay with it but he was not going to plan to have another one at all. So for now we avoid the issue and pretend that we are okay with it.

It's odd if he is so deadset against more kids that he would not have gotten a vasectomy. What form of b/c are you two using? There are vastly different failure rates between the "perfect" b/c user vs the "typical" b/c user.

We aren't using any. I am allergic to the materials in condoms and due to cancer issues in my family from BC itself I can't use that so our only use is to pull out. He has talked about a V and it completely tore me apart. So as it stands he is in complete control.

Actually the fact you guys are using the pullout method is probably good. It has high failure rates and you stand a pretty good chance of getting pregnant from it. He must not be THAT against it if hes using this method.

I would start trying to figure out when you due to ovulate each month... and even though he isn't ejaculating inside of you... you will still up your chances of conceiving if you have s_x during your fertile time :) Sneeky Sneeky :)

docbytch, I have heard that but that is the same method we have used for 5 years and so far nothing but there is always hope. Myabe someday I will be blessed and be able to sign on as a mom to be but until then i can just keep trying. MrsShelton217 that is deffinately soemthing that could be tried.......at least then I am not being deseatful and trying fo get pregnant by lying about bc or other things like that. See that is the thing I won't do things to lie and get pregnant but having willing s_x isn't lying lol

missyann117, thankyou for being so encouraging. I am 28 and my husband and I have been married for 3 yrs. we have 4 children together. 2 each. only my 2 live with us. you are right we don't share that special bond and that's what i'm missing. He feels the same way but he's indecisive. one min he wants another baby, next he doesn't. i keep telling him i don't want to wait any longer. he's 36. I know exactly how you feel. I agree with MrsShelton217, keep track of when you O and make sure you have s_x on those days. Make it the best s_x he's ever had and maybe he will stay in. If its meant to be it will happen. Baby Dust to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!