 | F.M - August 13 |
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Hi! I have a problem with my hub I don't know what to do im despred my hus was married before and in his first marriage he had 3 kids one is 7,12,16 the oldest has a baby already well my problem is that he never makes time for me not even to go out alone everytime i ask for him to do somrthing with me he don't want to but when his kids call him his there for them not matter what and what it is i get so frecken mad that i cry im pregnat at this moment I have talked to him about it to but he says he feels guilty if me and him went out to a movie or any ther place and not have his kids with him ever since we got married we only went out alone for our 1st anerversery that was in march we don't even have s_x anymore and if we do it's olny 1-2 times out of the month i don't think his cheating sometimes i feel like leaving him I do Love him but he don't make time for me he always wants to have his kids with him I just don't know what to do anymore I just don't know how to find a way to make him spend a day alone with me just the both of us I think that mabye I souldve tought about first before marring a divored man he was different when we just dating cuz we would spend time alone but now his kids are always there and besides the child sopport he gives to his ex he still spends money on them when we go out more then what he spends on me and to top it off his 7 yr old wants to sleep with us when they spend the night Please someone tell me what sould i do im DESPRED..;0(
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| .. - August 14 |
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It sounds a little like you are trying to compete with his kids and that's not good. His kids will ALWAYS come first, period, as it should be. He is not a bad person for that. Something you need to consider (what men think about when marrying a women with kids) it's not just HIM you are marrying, it is his kids as well. A lot of what you are feeling can be hormornal which is understandable. Try to understand where he is coming from as well - he feels guilty for going out and having fun and his kids aren't there. That tells me he does have some separation issues and guilt over his failed marrage he needs to work out. But be supportive of him - don't condemn him or leave him because he is trying to do the best he can with his kids... Try to find a counselor who can help... Good luck!
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Hi, it is understandable that you feel like this but like the person in the last post said he is only trying to the best for his kids. It would be nice if you could spend some time alone together though on your relationship. Have you tried explaining how you feel to your husband? Think of it another way also, at least you know he is a good Dad and from the sound of it he will be a great Dad to your little one so you have no worries there. Try suggesting to him that you should have time to yourselves to enjoy each others company like you used to and set aside regular activities or days to do this. Children do put a strain on adult relationships because any good parent will put their childrens needs first. If this is your first child you will soon be able to understand his devotion to his kids.
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| m.f - August 15 |
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I try so much so all this won't get to me but it's hard i forost put on my post that sometimes when he picks his his kids up thats almost everyday they are with us sometimes a friend of his will come over to the house and he will leave with his friends and leave me to take care the kids while his out drinking with his friend i guess he forgets he brought them to the house they don't come over to spend to spend time with him and he leaves them to me yea he leave with his friend without telling me... but i can't go to a friends alone he will tell me to take his little girl alongif he spends time alnoe with friends why not with me yea i have talked to him about this but he says that things are not gonna change I miss the person he was before he says that if he wants to spend time alone with his friends he will and when he wants to I don't think you all understand me and wont but thats ok Thanks anyway for the advice....................................:)
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| .. - August 16 |
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I think we are understanding fine. You wanted sympathy for being put second to his kids. Now this friend thing comes up and we won't understand? If there is a problem, try counseling. If you are looking for sympathy, try elsewhere...
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 | m - August 16 |
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I don't think I need couneling! Had it and did't work I myself know his kids will always come first I understand that and I come in 2nd but what do I do to have one day one night to ourselfs last week i made plans for both of us rented a nice room and guess what he did went to go pick up his kids and brought them over to he said so that they go swimming in the pool................see what I mean
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