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Hi Everyone...First off, M2 how are you doing? I know times are hard right now but hang in there. Unfortunately this is a very common thing as well as scarey. There are so many women out there... including all of us that have been through the same thing. We all know the heartache it causes and the stress it leads to. Just try and relax and let the healing process take place. Remember we are all here for you. (next post for Avi)

Avi... I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. My constipation has started and yet my nausea remains strong. I realized that it is NEVER going away. We started working on the nursery this weekend and cleaned it out and painted. Its a light lavendar and a sage green. Its so cute. I dont know if you got a chance to looking at my website... there are some recent photos of my husband and I on there. The link is http://www.babysites.com/sites/knpandrews As for everything else... baby girl has been moving around ALOT. She moves all day and all night. I really am starting to worry that she doesnt sleep and that is a sign of things to come. Only a little over a week and a half until our 3rd trimester. Is it me or did the first on fly by... the second one went a little slower but still kind of fast. I have a feeling that the third one is just going to move like a snail. Hope that you are doing well. Hope to hear from you. (next post for helene)

Helene... I should tell you that I am also plus size and I felt the baby move at excatly 20 wks. Everything will take longer and seem that its not going to happen. My stomach still has not poped out. However I do have a little pouch on the bottom then a little valley and another pouch. It actually upsets me because I dont have that cute pregnant look yet. But my husband thinks it so cute. :) I think i look like a fat cow. However, the bottom line is I know its going to happen just later then sooner. I have been reading this great book for plus size pregnant women... Its called "your plus size pregnancy" by Brette McWorther Sember. Its actually a very handy book. Its give you websites for proper underwear and bras its not scarey at all like some of the other ones i have gotten. This is my fav. out of all. I strongly believe that all full figured women who are pregnant should read it. Not to worry my friend... you will feel your little bean move soon enough. Well ladies... I need to get going, I have a doctors prenatal appt. today and then off to work. Hope all are well and hope to hear from all of you.

Hi Kim, Thanks for yr mail. I had a really bad day yesterday...was allright in the morning but towards the evening jst keep crying. Then my husband took me out to have dinner & watch a movie..Click but I wasnt able to enjoy it. We got home & I jst cldnt stop crying till way past midnight. This morn too I have been very low & the weather is worse..its raining..we live in Georgia. I am confused..I just dont know what to do to be able to take my mind off..my husband is gng out of the country this Sunday & is away for a week..I think I will completely go crazy by then..I have never been such a weak person ever. Our families keep calling but u know what I just dont feel like even talking to any of them. But I hope & pray everyday for u ladies...please take a lot of rest....

M2... I can tell you that you are NOT alone. They way you are feeling is the way every women feels when she loses something such as a child. When i lost my first one I remember just crying while I was getting my D&C. My OBGYN at the time left women awake and only gave codine to lighten the pain. Well my codine didnt work becuase she had me wait one hour before. I felt everything, smelled everything and remember hearing everything. I balled through the D&C and on my way home. In bed for 3 days crying and then for weeks after that I would just start balling. I felts so violated. I felt so embarra__sed. I felt like less of a women because all my friends had healthy pregnancies. But I slowly learned that it wasnt that I was less of a women it was just that i was NORMAL. The pain does go away. I promise you it is not perminent. I promise you that it will not hurt your chances of having a child. You can actually start trying once you get your first cycle. Some docs say wait 3 cycles and others say 1. It is generally your preference. Trying soon after though is more of trying to fill a void and not trying to get pregnant for the right reasons. Let your heart heal. Pamper yourself completely. Reconnect with your husband and take control of what you have control of. You dont have control of a m/c but you have control of your emotional health. Try one step at a time. One day at a time. Wake up each morning as its a new day. Wake up as if your life is moving in right direction and you werent given this milestone in your life to overcome. But i PROMISE you the pain does get easier. Just keep your head up.

Hi kim, Thanks...I was very depressed this morn but then I jst told myself that I have to control this somehow..so I jst took the car & went to the closest Walmart..picked some groceries & then drove arnd my new neighbourhood a bit...Last eve I had one iritating realtive call me...she had the audacity to ask me if I had a problem with my ovaries & kept telling me abt people who cldnt concieve after a M/c..I shdnt have taken her call & wont in the future...sometimes people r so nasty & evil..cant believe it.........u take care though & god bless u 4 bng such a sincere friend of mine.....u seem to be always arnd...for me

M2... Forgot to mention about the annoying people that will offer their expertise of not know c___p about you. Trust me when I tell you dont waste your time listening to peoples unwanted advice. Dont waste you time with any notion they may give you. I actually had a relative ask me about my weight because I am what some people call plus size because I am not the size of a twig. Just tell them to worry about their own ovaries or better yet to b__w it out their b___t. Keep your head up darlin'

Hi Kim, U actually made me smile...people r crazy...and yes they offer what I call as free advice.. I have done well post noon today..didnt let myself get down ...everytime I had a potential of feeling low I jst did something else...we r gng out this eve to play some Trivia with our friends...if its such the 2 of us I kee talking abt the M/c..Hope I have fun....U take care...hope u r feeling good...u need to talk to me anytime jst mail ok..I m there for u & all u ladies who need support.Take care

Hi, all! Thank you for the advice Kim.. I think I am going to look for that book the next time I go to the library or book store. I won't have chance tomorrow because my SIL and I are leaving for NC to see my parents Sat morning. Anyway, my big news is that the genetic counselor called today with the best possible news - all is fine. And this time we know the gender - it's a BOY! I think I kind of already knew deep down, because when she asked me if i wanted to know it was almost like I heard it before she said it. I had to laugh about what you said about not popping out yet - I am huge I think, but I think most peopel just think I am fat. The weird thing is I have only gained about a pound in all this time (althoug I did read that many times if you are plus size, you won't gain much or even lose weight whiel pregnant ). If you want, i will e-mail you a pic of me at the e-mail you gave M2. It is not a great pic, but hey the belly is right there, large as life!

Avi - he constiptaion showed up again today. Not as bad as it has been, but probably because I did not have enough fiber, so I expect it is temporary. But, d__n, the pressure it puts on my bowels until it pa__ses!

M2 - Don't beat yourself up - you are goign through so many emtions right now, all of which you ar ent_tled to. I remember that was one of my biggest thoughts when will this misery end? Don't forget that alone with your grief and disappointment you are battling a whole mess of hormones. My sister-in-law (the one who had 3 m/c's) siad to me, oh yeah - I remember the "hormone rollercoaster" well! She was oneof the few peopel who undesrtood what I emant when I said I just felt like I had not control over my emotions. My mom came up for my nieces' 1st birthday party and ended up staying with us for the first week which was actually great. She cooked for us - made me macaroni and meatb___s which is my comfort food (nothing like my mommys meatb___s!) and she made my husband a cheesecake. It was good because I realized that I was extremely directionless and lethargic and she kept me getting dressed and moving even if it took the entire day to do it! AS much as i love my dh, he is not good at sharing emotions and not the type who is good at comforting you, so having my mom there was good for both us, as it took a little pressure off him. I teach at a big middle school and predicatbly there are a lot of female teachers. I can't tell you how many of the women I worked with came up tome and said, I have been there,I had one-two-three m/c's. And because most of these women were older than me or had started having their kids earlier, they now had healthy, beautiful kids in their teens or twenties, which just semd like such a ray of hope to me. As for your stupid relative - there is always going to be someone who says somethgn stupid like that. There was a link somewhere on here about stupid things poepel say after you m/c - I forget where, but yeah, it is amzing hw peopel will try to "diagnose" you - I mean the first thing the d__ned doctor says , it is not your fault. I rememrb thinking that at the same time I was doing everything right, my friend who was also pregnant and due two weeks after me was running herself ragged and she had no problems. Kim is right - don't rush into TTC - wait until you have sorted out your feelings and you know how you feel. Take care! You wil get through this - it just takes time.

Hi Helene, U r very sweet. The remaining half of my day was good. Went to Walmart saw Maternity & baby stuff for sale..felt bad but told myself that maybe the baby wasnt normal..and I rather have a nice normal one than an abnormal one..then I was a bit allright. Went to Trivia night with my husband & his friends. We r gng for a movie agn tonight..Pirates of the Carribean..its gng to be at midnight..everyone except me is working..but they all wanna go so I am gng too..... U know in all this..the good part is ..I found friends like u, Kim etc whom I have never seen but feel close enough...thanks for being arnd... u r right..sometimes yr husband cant understand..mine gets all worked up..I can read his face...glad yr mom was there...if u have the cheescake recipe..please mail it to me...I love it... Keep mailing & take care....and if u need me for anything I am right here....

M2- Glad you have plans for tonight. You really seem to be keeping busy and having a good att_tude about the situation. It is miserable and tough, but you seem like a strong person. ANd I know what you mean about it being "for the best"if there was something wrong with the baby. I clung to that thought. I even remember when I was lying on the couch (so I could be closer to the bathroom) the night after I went to the hospital and they put me on bed rest and praying that all would be okay - as time went on I started saying, okay, if there is something wrong, then I understand and I would rather you take this decision out of my hands (I know dh felt the same way because when we got home form the hospital, he asked, will this kid be able to take are of itself someday?). I am a special ed teacher and while I work with kids with learning disabilties during the school year, last summer I worked at a camp for kids with major disabilties and i kep thinking of some of the severly disabled kids there, some with multiple disabilities and I wondered if my baby would be like that. That is when I said, please God, do what you think is best, even if it is not what I am hoping you will do. Of course what I wanted was for the baby to stay and be perfect, but I just had to have faith that things would turn out for the best no matter how much it hurt. And I still tell myself that maybe that baby had something so wrong that could not be fixed. I remember being in Target one day a month or two later and walking down an aisle an boom there was this baby display of adorable furniture - very much my style. I was kind of like, oh I can't look at that, and then I said, screw it and walked upt to the display and starting checkign it out for "future reference" (but as off-hand as I could). I remember thinking, okay I am not pregnant, but I WILL BE and I can still plan, and hell, I just was, and there is no reason why I can't look. ANd every time I would go into the store I would walk past that same display and sometimes I would go over and look at it and sometimes I wouldn't. But then one time I was in the store and I as I walked past it I realized, oh my God, I AM pregnant this time, and it felt so good. And trust me, one day you will be walking in WalMart again and you will be checking out the baby stuff again and it will hit you that, wait a minute, you ARE pregnant again and you will just smile to yourself and this time right now will seem so far away.

Hey ladies, I am leaving for NC to visit my parents tonorrow so I won't be on-line for about a week. Take care! Hope all is well with each of you.

HI ladies, read all the posts. Sorry, kind of been busy. We were trying to buy a new sofa, love seat and a rocking chair near about July 4th. We bought the recliner and we will buy the rocking chair from babysrus. so this part of chosing and visiting different stores I thought was hard...going out in summer in LA and that to when the stores closes at 5/6pm. But the second part of disposing off the old sofa, love seat and a chair is more harder. It is in good condition, we just want to give it away to salvation army or something like that, but salvation army rejected because of couple minor stains .... rest of the agencies don't lift any over 60 lbs...out apartment doesn't let us leave stuff near the garbage area. our new furniture is arrving on Tue and Mon is carpet cleaning day. We are tryng to get rid of the stuff that really we don't need... and make more space for our little one. this coming week I have routine checkup appt. I got my blood test results back...I have no gestational diabetes ( good news), but thyroid levels arfe low. I myself started to feel little uneasy so told my doc to check. rest of the posts for all of you.

Helene, Hope you have a good vacation. First to you...all the best for your AFP results. I know how much I was scared. The day I got negative results, in the evening I went to the church. I am not very very religious, but anything for the kids. don't worry a lot though, just cross your fingers and pray to God. Usually, the chances are really low. enjoy your time with your loved ones. good to know that yoour constipation has settled down, but keep it up this way b/c as our uterus gets bigger, it puts pressure on our bladder and intestines....which makes us constipated, heartburn and visit the restroom like thousand times in a day. Once in a day munch on dry fruits, almonds are not only good for us, but good for the baby also. I forget, but I am going to set thngs, so that I remember. I take raisins with the almonds...raisins have a lot of fiber. I forgot to mention b/c of the busy schedule that for July 4th weekend my dh and I went to Hawaii, Maui....it is so nice. I thought I will get to relax by the ocean,but there are so many activities that we were interested in that how 4 days went by...I dunno. but now that I am back and can see how much we enjoyed. I was sooo scared before going, but apart from the six hours flight and tiredness all was okay. Everytime before going somewhere I would look around for the restroom...so probably on that island I visited whole lots of restrooms also. The submarine trip was great. It takes ppl to the bottom of the ocean, I was just little bit scared, but ppl around were so nice...in the ferry and submarine this lady kept asking me, if I was okay.