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Well, I don't think it is right to just buy your kid whatever they want. When kids have everything, they don't seem to appreciate what they have. When I was growing up, my parents did not have a lot of money. We only got toys at either Christmas or our Birthday. I don't have a single memory of my parents buying me a toy "just because". And I grew up very happy.

Toya, you come close to my definition. I would however change especially to ONLY. I think if I child gets what they want without learning how to earn it then they have been spoiled.

Most definitely buying them what they want is spoiling them. Good behaviour can be captured and recognised in so many other ways by a parent, not neccessarily rewarding the good behaviour with a toy but with a trip to the park, a hug, kiss.

Getting their own way. I have a cousin who is so spoiled she doesn't appreciate anything at all. I reward the kids with a lot of praise, hugs and kisses. My oldest is at the age where I make him do chores for his pocket money. All I ask for him to do is his bedroom and tidy up after himself.

I love buying my son things to reward him for good behavior. I don't think by buying him things he is spoiled. I grew up with nothing and don't want my son to grow up that way. He is an extremely well behaved boy and appreciates everything he has. He knows that he doesn't just get anything he wants when we go to a store. I think the definition of spoiling is when a child doesn't get his or her way and doesn't have any discipline. I have a niece who is extremely spoiled but not by material things. They just let her do whatever she wants and don't correct her because she is the baby. I always thought she was being neglected because it is easier to just give her her way than just deal with her. She is really spoiled.

I have a ticket system with my son. There are things of things for him to do and he gets a certain amount of tickets for each one. If he behaves bad then he gets tickets taken away. Tickets equals toys.... so he gets a lot of toys because he is very well behaved.

that ticket thing sounds like a good idea, definatly buying them everything they want is spoiling them i would probly praise my daughter by letting her pick what we have for a meal each week maybe two and if she misbehave she cant pick a meal but i dont have to spoil her thats what her grandparents are for she can have a special day with them for good behavior as well (she is the fist grandchild on both sides)

My nieces and nephews get bought so much stuff all the time, that when it comes to Christmas or Birthdays, they don't appreciate it. My niece actually started crying one Christmas, because she was fed up with opening presents and didn't want to play with anything. They're really spoiled! I hope Nadya won't be like that, but I think I may be fighting a losing battle with my family.

A child is spoiled when she whines to get her own way constantly. If someone says "no", she throws a temper tantrum. I was like that - I was horrible as a kid. It was just easier to give in to me than to try and shut me up. But, honestly, I probably only needed one good spanking.

I was like that too. They nicknamed me "I wanna", when I was a kid, because I wanted everything and threw tantrums when I couldn't have them. :)

We spent the last 18 months living with my in-laws. It was awful! Normally I do not buy my son lots of "treats" as he calls them- which can be anything from toys to candy. However, he LOVES to go shopping with mommy. So if I'm going shopping for things that I want, but don't need and he is good, I will usually get him something as well. However, my in-laws have spoiled the snot out of him and now I'm paying for it. First of all let me say that he could shred every personal belonging of theirs, say anything he wanted to them and he would still be "the best boy in the whole wide world" or Grandma and grandpa's Angel. Everyday they would come home and bring Aidan a treat. EVERY DAY! It did not matter if he had been good or bad, he got a treat every day- and when we tried to stop it, they would tell us that we were being mean and then I would catch them sneaking the treats to him!! Now he has an att_tude that I call the "what else" att_tude. He is a very good boy, but it is so embara__sing when he opens his presents at his birthday and asks what else or if someone brings him a special present from a trip they've taken and he asks what else. My own mother doesn't know what to give him for Christmas, because she want's to take us all on a vacation, but she knows he's too young to understand why he didn't get an actual present on Christmas from her. Anyway, sorry for the rant, but with the holidays coming up, this issue of "I want everything and I deserve everything regardless of how I have behaved" is really becoming an everday struggle. Even the "threat" of Santa watching is not enough- but it may still be too abstract a concept. Again sorry for the long post, but I needed to get it out! Thanks everyone!

Mine don't get everything they want and never will, that's life. But I do try to make a simple wish come true here and there, as long as their behavior warrants it. When they're adults it will be bills, bills, bills like it is for us...let them have some fun while they can.

Something I figured out over the years was that, it means more to you if you worked for it. Money wasn't really a big problem when I was growing up, and as I said a few posts ago, I was one of the spoiled brats...in fact, I may have been High Empress of the Spoiled Brats...lol...but it wasn't until I was out on my own, paying my own way, that I realized it's so much better to earn stuff than just have it freely given to me. So, my daughter will get stuff for Christmas and her birthday...but anything in between, she's going to have to earn, through good behavior, etc.