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I am 37 and m/c on the 25th of May. On the 17 of May went in for first prenatal checkup and doc said that there was an empty sac - said that it could be a bad pregnancy and I would miscarry or that I was not as far along as dates said. They drew a mess of blood and sent me home. The next night (on the 18th) I went to the er with pretty bad cramps and they took a mess of blood and did another u/s then after spending 6 hours in the er the doc came in and told me that me hormone levels had dropped and that I would in fact miscarry. The doctor (who had the personality of a bedpan) was very blunt and matter of fact about it and even sent the nurse out of the room to get a miscarriage package. He then did and exam and sent me home. (of course the whole time I am freaking out and crying (big sobs). Started bleeding on the 23rd and 2 days after that the pregnancy was over (after what felt like 2 hours of labor). Have had many different reactions to the loss from ppl saying sorry to others saying that there was never a baby there so there is nothing to mourn about, was even told that I should be happy that I didn't carry to term a baby that could have had a mult_tude of physical and mental problems. I am sorry if I am stepping on anyones toes by saying this but I feel that life starts at conception and therefore there was a baby and now that baby is gone. OB/GYN says that we can try again in 3 months. I know that none of this is in the form of a question I just needed to vent a little. I hope that this will give all of us that are in the same situation a sounding board where we can vent our feelings about what is happening and has happened to us.
My thoughts are will you all.
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HI DEENA I WAS READING YOUR STORY AND IT IS SO TERRIBLE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT IT BEING A BABY FROM CONCEPTION I THINK THE SAME THING. I WOULD BE UPSET AND MOURNING AS WELL. I THINK PEOPLE JUST DONT ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT I HAVE NEVER MISCARRIED BUT I WANTED YOU TO KNOW I CARED TO READ YOUR STORY AND REPLY AND LET YOU KNOW HOW SORRY I AM THAT WOMEN WHO REALLY WANT BABIES AND WOULD BE GREAT MOTHERS SOMETIMES HAVE THESE PROBLEMS ITS JUST NOT FAIR. AND I HOPE YOU CONCIEVE AND EVERYTHING GOES PERFECTLY FOR YOU AND THE BABY.LOTS OF LUCK.
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Nelly, thank you very much for your kind words and for caring enough to read my story and make a comment.
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i am so sorry for your loss and forget about other peoples stupid remarks it was a baby from the beginning when the egg and sperm met......but rest a__sured u will have a healthy baby when the time is right ......... a mc is just gods way of saying for what ever reason that baby didnt need to be born........ he needed another angel
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I can't believe anyone could say such things about your loss. A loss is a loss. I am so sorry for what you went through and for the insensitivity of others. My condolences.
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I'm very sorry for your loss, and wish you much better luck with your next pregnancy. However, I don't think some of the people you've talked with are trying to be deliberately cruel and insensitive (the ones that have talked about the possibility of the child having a mult_tude of physical and mental problems). I think they're trying to say that having a baby with so many problems isn't something you aim for when conceiving a child, and it's a very difficult thing to deal with once the child is born, though you would love the child. Nearly everybody tries their darndest for a healthy baby, but it doesn't always happen, and the people who are saying this to you, I'm sure, would want the best for you and any babies you might have later on. I agree that life begins at conception, but even nature terminates that life sometimes for reasons we may or may not understand. It doesn't mean nature is cruel, though; it's trying to keep the healthiest babies coming into the world so they have the best chance at survival. Even so, you had hopes and dreams of having a healthy child, and that's gone...for this pregnancy, anyway. You have every right to mourn the loss. I, too, had a miscarriage in my second pregnancy (at 6 weeks), and it was very sad, though I remember feeling that I didn't lose a baby, but the potential for a baby (because it was so early in the pregnancy). I don't believe the sense of loss I had then would've been the same had I been 6 months along, or after the child was born and it had a lot of health issues that might have caused it to pa__s on after birth. In that respect, nature did a favor (though it would've been best for everything to work out right from the start).
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Don't be sorry for your feelings. Good for you for letting them out. Regardless of the science here, your heart was preparing for your baby and therefore you have suffered a loss. I wish the best of luck for you next time but that doesn't erase this time, trust me I know.
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