I Feel So Guilty-pg116838490110
4 Replies
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We had our baby on Thursday, and every day since then someone has been by. Mostly my mom. Now, obviously I love her, but she does things that stress me out. For one thing, she likes to talk baby talk to the baby, which irritates my husband (and me, but him more) because he's worried that it'll hinder her learning and language skills. She's also really loud when she talks to the baby, even when the baby's asleep, I don't think she realizes it though. She keeps giving advice that sometimes goes against what the pediatrician says, which I just ignore, but it's the way she constantly tells me things I should or shouldn't do, like the baby would die if left to just us.
Anyway, she called today to say she was coming by and I stood up at the urging of my husband (I got stressed out last time she was here, and cried uncontrollably, possibly hormones helped there) and told her that she didn't have to stop by and she said she wanted to and I said that I know she does, but that we haven't had one single day with just the three of us since the baby was born. She just said okay and then kind of changed the subject.
Now I feel really guilty. I know there's nothing wrong with wanting time to ourselves but for some reason I feel like a horrible person. Anyone going through something similar or have any advice? I don't want her to feel she's not wanted or needed but I would like a little space.
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you'll get over it. I'm the same way. I always worry about other peoples feelings meanwhile I'm in constant hell. One day even if you dont need her tell her to come over and help you or something, that way she'll think you do need her and wont feel like shes intruding. And as far as your thoughts/beliefs and hers...just tell her what you think-- "Mom, we dont want to talk baby talk to the baby, I heard it may interupt their ability to learn language.." just tell her without being really ugly, and even if you dont need it act like you need her or want her over sometimes.
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take advantage of her being there. While shes there say "since your here do you want to help with the laundry, dishes etc. It will be nice if she helps and if she doesnt want to help she might come around less often.
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That would work if she didn't drive the husband up a wall. I think we probably will need her help once he goes back to work but for now, I like some privacy :)
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Before my baby was born I told my mom she could come for the birth and after that I want some time just to learn to be a mom. I asked he to wait until he was 2 weeks old and I was a little more used to having a baby around for her to come. When she came and he was two weeks old-it was great she helped make dinner and help around the house. Also by that time I was so ready for a break from the baby and get some sleep so it was great. Maybe you could give her a time to come over and you can know ahead of time and prepare for her being there. Also let her know nicely the "rules" you would like her to go by. As for the baby talk thing-right know the baby doesnt know the difference between gagagogo and hello how are you. Maybe save that battle for when she is a little older. Or do I what I did. When people would come up to my baby and talk baby talk I would laugh and say-wow hes looking at you strange he must not understand that language-all he knows is english. It would usually stop the baby talk nonsense. Hope this helps some.
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