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Actually I was worried about you to Michelle, but I feel that a lot you went through might not be strictly related to OCD and PPD. I dont think anyone was being mean!! Update from me! I feel great! I'm 16 weeks with the new baby and of course no worries with the old 1 year old anymore :) Thank god, I'm going to have a great out look on this one and if it comes back it does I will beat it I did it this time and your only as strong as your weakness ones was! So I will make it! I dont need mediation, Therapy though does help wonders and did well for me last time if I need it this time I will seek but I feel I can deal with it! I have to stay in a strong positive mind set! Good luck ladies :)

I sort of agree with you on the fact this Forum is about PPDOCD not Psychosis as Michelle E mailed me and freaked me out with this information about her shock therapy and stuff, I did however tell her not to write to me as people with OCD are sensitive to triggers, and going crazy was a big fear when I had my PPDOCD I was by no means CRAZY, because as it states and therapist agree You can be crazy if your scared of going crazy the crazy dont care or know they are going! :) So keep that in mind ladies, you can take meds and do as you need to get through this, but you also do not need to fear the worst, Exercise, taking care of yourself and getting alone time can really help you over time :)

First of all, everyone is ent_tled to their own thoughts and feelings. Michelle said she would pray for me. I'm not particularly religious, but I was flattered because that was her way of letting me know that she cared, not that she was shoving jesus Mary and Joseph down my throat. No one is forcing you to believe anything. We are here to support each other by any means possible and getting into theological or debates over semantics is a waste of time and space. Second, if someone has something else that intermingles with their ppocd; i.e. psychosis, they should feel free to discuss it without judgement. PPD is so common that almost every individual willing to reveal their ppocd also reveals that they suffer from PPD. In fact, a lot of the symptoms overlap. The fact that post partum psychosis is rare and so devastating makes it difficult for those who went through it to find a way to deal with it. Everyone's story is different and everyone's symptoms are different. We need to respect that and use our strengths to help others where they are weak instead of creating walls between us.

I am sooo glad someone is sticking up for me. I am sorry i offended anyone to begin with but we are here to support one another and help one another not be haters like a chat room would be. I have been thru heck and back but i am ok now and thats been 4-5 years ago and i have learned from it and dang it ...it made me a heck of a lot stronger than i was before i ever has a baby i was weak and depressed now im happy and content. see the difference. i say blessings and i will pray for you because i feel bad that you are going thru what i did and your right psychosis is rare and i had it so what it doesnt make me a bad mommy i did what i needed to ...to be there for my daughter dang it and those ECT's were my only way out because i cant have SSRI's which is every depression med out there almost. i had no time and had to hurry for my baby and even b___st fed her for 5 months.......that shows strength and i had both my kids all natural no drugs im a strong women and im not going to let any of you get me down again......so what if i said what i said you voiced your opinion now im voicing mine and you have freedom of speech what about me? so there im done thank you mamagreensleeves you are kind and opened my eyes to those bullies and showed me not to look down but to keep my head high because i went thru just as much if not more trauma then them and they wanna JUDGE ME EFFF that. thanks and you know what GOD BLESS lOL.

So anyway three weeks off all the major meds; I still take a little benzo at night which I'm cutting down now; and I feel great. I still get the head whooshes and crazy nightmares occasionally, but the worst of the SSRI withdrawal is over. Now, I've got to deal with this stuff head on... But at least I know better now. I can recognize when an ocd thought is trying to take hold and create a cycle and I'm able to disengage. I can recognize when anxiety is there ... For no apparent reason and NOT identify it with something to obsess about. I know my cards and how to play them! They may not always be the best hand, but at least I know the rules at this point. Question: anybody try some alternative therapies? This is the year of rejuvenation for me and getting off my meds was only the first part. I want to quit smoking start exercising and possibly using herbal or natural supplements to help the overall imbalance... But I really don't know where to start other than I'm very close to the end of stage one- operation ditch the pharmaceuticals that are destroying my kidneys and suvkinv my creativity away etc (llithium is not an easy drug to process so beware-I am also an individual that deals with bipolar disorder so that played a huge role in my Post Partum reaction) So I'm really trying to embrace a better overall lifestyle. Next is quitting smoking, which I know is going to be one of the hardest habits to kick... Anyway looking for some ideas. I'm really happy that I've made it this far. I never thought a year ago that I could be this confident, in love, and successful with or without meds. Thanks for all the support ladies.

thank god im not alone!!! im 6 weeks postpartum and a week after i gave birth i started to have panic attacks...i start having horrible thoughts and once i start to think crazy i go in a state of panic and my whole body starts to shake n i get really cloudy minded n then lots of pressure in my head n a sick feeling in my stomach...i have a history of anxiety but after i gave birth it got so much worst ...im constantly worrying "what if" im alwaysworrying about if something happens to me whos gnna take care of my daughter..n then at times i get scary thoughts that just pop up out of nowhere like what if i loose control n hurt myself or hurt my baby...ugghhh im trying keep myself together I've even started taking b complex vitamin and a herbal medication (mood booster) called amoryn which helps takes the edge off but doesnt take it away completely helps me alot but man i can't wait til this goes away for good cause it keeps me from enjoying my babygirl n im so ready to be normal!! n just enjoy life ...im sick of feeling this way ...sick of worrying ....n i def want them crazy thoughts to leave for good cause i will never hurt my babygirl....n i def dnt want to have those horrible thoughts in my mind......jus wanna b sane!!!

You're not alone. But this won't go away. It takes acceptance understanding and time. Bear with it and get the help you need.

I believe I have been suffering from postpartum ocd for almost two years now. After my son was born, I was the same person as I always have been. No signs of depression, until my son was about 6 or 7 months old, then I started to notice different things, such as, Intrusive thoughts, unwanted images, of my son, that I just wish that It would stop! It seem like all my worries, thoughts, and images have ceased for now, then it seemed that everything that I was feeling before, all my worries, the intrusive thoughts, and unwanted images, have returned when my son turned one. It seemed like it all got worse, I never told anyone, because I was afraid of what they would think and they wouldn't trust me with my son. I love my son so much and I know I could never hurt him! I never really knew what postpartum ocd was till I looked up every thing I was feeling online about a few months back. I have some good days, and most are bad days, I just want the cycle to end. Myself and my husband wanted another baby, so we got preganat again. As thrilled as I was, I was also terrified that my ppd ocd will just get worse. After my daughter was born, I feel like it's time for me to get the help that I need. 'm tired of suffering in silence, I'm tired of feeling alone in the world. I just want to be my self again. I'm tired of struggling with the fears of what if, I'm tired unable to sleep at night due to crying, I just love my children so much and I would give them the world. I want to get help for my babies, and myself, so I can be the best mom I can be for them:)I only told my husband how I have been feeling and he has been super supportive. But, I rather be on medication for the rest of my life then have to live through the horror of this everyday!!!! I know I'm over come this, because, I am strong person, I have fought through depression before, and I know I can survive this, but I hate that it's taking so long, I just wish all these thoughts, images, worries, and feeling will disappear and never return ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel for any mother or father going through this, I know there is hope, just have faith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I share what I'm going through to let you know to anyone your not alone. I thought I use to be, but I know now that is not true.

I believe I have been suffering from postpartum ocd for almost two years now. After my son was born, I was the same person as I always have been. No signs of depression, until my son was about 6 or 7 months old, then I started to notice different things, such as, Intrusive thoughts, unwanted images, of my son, that I just wish that It would stop! It seem like all my worries, thoughts, and images have ceased for now, then it seemed that everything that I was feeling before, all my worries, the intrusive thoughts, and unwanted images, have returned when my son turned one. It seemed like it all got worse, I never told anyone, because I was afraid of what they would think and they wouldn't trust me with my son. I love my son so much and I know I could never hurt him! I never really knew what postpartum ocd was till I looked up every thing I was feeling online about a few months back. I have some good days, and most are bad days, I just want the cycle to end. Myself and my husband wanted another baby, so we got pregnant again. As thrilled as I was, I was also terrified that my ppd ocd will just get worse. After my daughter was born, I feel like it's time for me to get the help that I need. 'm tired of suffering in silence, I'm tired of feeling alone in the world. I just want to be my self again. I'm tired of struggling with the fears of what if, I'm tired unable to sleep at night due to crying, I just love my children so much and I would give them the world. I want to get help for my babies, and myself, so I can be the best mom I can be for them:)I only told my husband how I have been feeling and he has been super supportive. But, I rather be on medication for the rest of my life then have to live through the horror of this everyday!!!! I know I'm over come this, because, I am strong person, I have fought through depression before, and I know I can survive this, but I hate that it's taking so long, I just wish all these thoughts, images, worries, and feeling will disappear and never return ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel for any mother or father going through this, I know there is hope, just have faith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I share what I'm going through to let you know to anyone your not alone. I thought I use to be, but I know now that is not true.

Hello landonsnlillyannasmommy I'm so very sorry to hear what you are experiencing, it has been a couple of years since I posted how I felt. I just wanted to let you know that things have gradually got better for me. Happy2Be gave me some good advice about just watching the thoughts like clouds pa__s by and this has really helped me. Just let the thoughts pa__s you by, don't try and banish them, acknowledge with as little meaning as possible and then let them float by. Hope this makes sense to you. I found that the meaning attributed to the thought really causes the pain. Also I found that if I let a thought take seed the mental pathway in my head it creates get deeper and I find that thought harder to get rid of. Whereas if I don't try to rationalise it and resolve it just let it pa__s, that mental pathway is lighter and eventually easy to get rid of. I hope it makes sense. I started the process of getting better after I had read this forum. I realised that I had been suffering with OCD for many years. Now I know what the 'illness' is I can find the road to recovery. I had thought of this as a Bully but if it hadn't got that bad and only lingered I would never have known what it was and would have probably suffered with this for many many years. I told my partner about how I was feeling and they had similar irraional thoughts but unlike me holding on to them and judging them just let them pa__s by. I felt tremendouslly! better after this conversation. The thoughts when spoke about are a lot less powerful than when they are just locked inside your mind. You really are not alone with this. I have started to go to a local OCD support group and hope this will help. I have heard that medication and particularly Cognitive Behavioural Therapy work wonders. I know it is very hard to talk about but I can not express enough how much better I felt about this after I had spoken to my partner. I've been advised that doctors will not be suprised at all about this when you talk to them and there is some very good and positive help out there. I take Equizen IQ tablets, to help level out my moods I don't know if they work or not but I read somewhere they can help, and it probably helps with pre menstal tension a bit too. They are natural and its just my thing but I know that there is really good medication out there too, so its really worth knowing there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Hope this has helped you a bit, it helped me immensly to find out I was not alone. It seems to be a cruel illness that affects really kind people. I do feel a lot better than I did, no where near the same. It really does get better. My best advice like Happy2Be is just to let your thoughts go like clouds - Good luck with your journey through Motherhood, you sound like a very caring Mum who is determined to do her best by her children. Very best wishes.

Hello Happy2Be You replied to my comment a couple of years ago and I just wanted to say thank you for your advice - letting your thoughts go past like clouds this has recently started to really work for me. I've just revisited my post and just wanted to thank you for your words they were very apt and have helped me. Thank you for your kind advice good, very best wishes.

Hi TrueXanadu Did your Postpartum OCD went away on its own? Or did u have to take any therapy and/or medicine? I am not sure if I had it or not, since I was not having ay scary thoughts of harming my baby, but the thoughts were pretty illogical and I feel like its going away for me around after 3-months postpartum. Please do reply. Thank You.