Weight Gain And Husband S Lack Of Understanding
9 Replies
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I was very skinny before the pregnancy: size 2. I gained 15 kilos since I got pregnant. I exercised during the whole first trimester but my doctor asked me to stop. I kept going for walks and worked throughout the whole pregnancy. I still gained weight because I know. I ate all the things I was not used to eat such as bread, rice, pasta while I was used before the pregnancy to exercise 1h30 daily and eat as little as 800 calories per day. We go out with friends and their wives never had babies and are very skinny. I am the only one pregnant now and whenever we go out with them, I come back home feeling depressed and unhappy about the pounds I gained. I can't do anything about it now, I can't exercise and I don't want to tell my husband that he hurts me when he speaks about weight. I feel so hurt and even regret to have to decided to get pregnant at times. I know I will go back to exercisinga nd eating healthy after the delivery which is in two weeks, but I just hate the way my husband and his frienfs made me feel while I was pregnant. I will never forgive them. Please let me know, how soon can I start exercising after the pregnancy and how much time does it take to lose the pounds gained during the pregnancy.
Thanks.
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Perhaps your husband should go to a prenatal exam with you so that your doctor can explain to both of you why anorexia is so dangerous not only for a developing baby, but also for a grown woman. 800 calories a day is not enough for anyone, particularly someone who exercises 1.5 hours a day.
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I am sure your husband, and his friends do not understand what they are saying to you. I am also a size 2 (first tri), work out very often, and consume around 1000 cal. I am not an anorexic, and am just a not a big eater and love to work out. I am sure when your baby arrives (which by the time I am writing this you prob have delivered) your husband and friends will be more into the miracle you have gone through. I have read that sometimes husbands act in this way because they are not in touch with the pregnancy in it self. Your friends are probably just jealous, and maybe uncomfortable with pregnancy and don't understand how this makes you feel. Good luck, and I hope everything went well for you.
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The writer of the original message never stated that her friends SAID anything negative to her. Her husband is the only one who voiced an opinion. SHE is comparing herself to her friends. As is her husband. They both have body image problems. As a recovered anorexic/bulimic, I can easily recognize the signs. I also know that coddling someone with a destructive body image does her no favors. Instead of telling her what she WANTS to hear, it's better to tell her what she NEEDS to hear. She and her husband need to see a professional, either her OB or a therapist. The truth of the matter is, even if she loses the weight, will she she truly be happy with an unsupportive husband? There are issues about control and perfection that need to seriously be addressed.
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You don't need to loose weight, your husband needs to loose his very negative att_tude. You need to gain confidence, enjoy yourself, baby and every pound! Believe me, I had a miscarriage and would love your problem.
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Sounds like you need to find friends who have kids and families or people who share what your going thru because everyone knows you need a good support system when you are pregnant. You are SUPPOSED to gain weight for that baby. Your body is trying to prepare and nourish that child. Oprah had the best show one day and showed you where that weight is going (x lbs to amniotic fluid, x lbs for the baby, etc) it was really an eye awakener why you gain weight and how important it is! I was impacted by that show before i even was married and thinking kids. You need a support system.
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Hey, I feel for you. Before I got pregnant, I weighed about 105 pounds. I'm now 20 weeks, and weigh 120. I KNOW it's the baby, and looking in the mirror, you can still see all the muscle tone under/around my baby belly, but the baby belly is still there. It's traumatizing for me to go from a size zero to a size 7 or larger. But, I know that while I'm big for ME, I'm still smaller than 90% of the women out there - you can't hardly tell I'm pregnant, unless you know me - then you can tell that I'm huge. Errr - point is, don't stress about the weight; EAT, because you are eating for your child, and then, after you have the baby, DON'T kill yourself trying to get back down - love the way you look as you are; you might not be super thin anymore, but if your husband is anything like mine, he's most likely loving every inch of your new curves.
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I'm with Anne. 800 calories per day is way too little! Your baby needs nutrients and considering how little you were eating pre-pregnancy, it is perfectly natural for you to gain some weight- it would be a problem if you didn't. If you think a few pounds ruins you, or your husband does, you need to get some counseling. Good luck with the delivery!
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You just better hope your kid doesn't come out with birth defects cause you only ate 800 calories and worked out so much.
For the love of your child thinks about its safety instead of trying to be a supermodel.
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