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that was no judgements "from" me :) I can't type when I am holding a squirming baby!

Thanks Caro and MNMOM. I am definitely taking everything you all state here in to consideration. I just feel perhaps it shouldn't be this difficult of a decision. I mean....if I want a baby so bad then why can't I just say...I'm keeping it? Or if I don't want it that much...why can't I just say, okay....I must terminate? I really thought I would have some divine intervention by now. Again, I'm so glad this forum is here for us to support each other.

nicensa__sy, you will work it out. Don't put pressure on yourself to decide now - you still have plenty of time to make a decision. Your hormones a probably staring to kick in, and that makes it harder to make a decision. (This morning I couldn't even make a simple decision - like decide whether to go shopping myself, or wait to go with my husband when he got home). Even though I wanted to be pregnant, I am still scared at times, so what you are feeling is really normal....you will do fine :) No matter what you decide, you will be ok :) I have a friend who is a single mum, and she thinks it is the best thing she ever did. She is also in a situation simliar to yours where her partner is married with another family. She and her daughter have so much fun together - they are a close knit unit and it brings lots of joy to her life. Not an easy decision to make, but you will work it out. Good luck with your decision xx

hi I just wrong a long message but didn;t log in an dnow have to start again...so this will be shorter.I am also 40. Did you know that at 40, we only have a 5% chance of being pregnant any given cycle, 5%! I knwo you love your partner and love is not to be judged but this chidl is trul a miracle and I know you have the burden of being able to do anything you want but I beg you to reconsider abortiona nd think of adoption at the least. No one her will judge you, it is not our place. But, you ar giving up part of yourself ...a part that is much more than eduactaion or a career...a part of you...a small miracle taht has made it and deserves a chance..you can do this. We are here for you in all matters...email me if you woudl like...I'll be happy to share with you...thestarsplitter at yahoo.com Good luck and God bless you...my prayers are wth you.,

Hi agian. Sorry the email si thestarsplitter1at yahoo.com For website , i am not rying to sell or advertise anything I just want to give a little hope and help to a fellow preggo sister..thanks...

All of you my answers have nothing to do with being shallow and I am far from skinny. I am trying to tell her the plain and simple truth. I am older and I have several older friends. And as you get older your chances of pairing decrease. I am constantly trying to be there for them and it is sad but true fact. They don't get dates anymore. Now you can shame my taste all you want but being alone all the time with your two dogs gets old and tired after a while. The men start to treat you like trash because for every one of them there is 25 single women. These are the facts, they are not meant to be mean but they are the truth. I deal in facts and truth. Sorry guys.

Emily, Perhaps the lady didn't want to hear the truth; she was venting....she probably knew the answer in her mind but seeing it in black and white offended her....since it wasn't what she wanted to hear. Is she stupid; getting pregnant at 40 and wanting a social life after? The only way would be if she was rich and could pay to have sitters, trainers, plastic surgery, etc. But you are right; having a baby IS a big man repellent; she'll have to wait until the kid is several years old before she gets dates; and it will be tough. I know and have decided trying to date at my age is a colossal waste of time. I've met a lot of guys; and they're nice at first but they ALL want s_x; and if you don't give it to them they will find a woman willing to and I refuse to sleep with a man for that reason; my life is too precious!!! Love, Janet P.S. Now, I got to vent.... I am logical. More then most women. I offend because I am logical. I can't help it. I am what I am. If you don't want the truth go to a movie. If you ask me a question, I tell you the truth. Sorry guys... last post. Criminalize me if you want but I have seen it and I stand behind my opinion.

Emily & Janet - my guess is your att_tude and negativity is the issue here, and is what men find unattractive, not your appearance....sorry to hear you are both so sad and lonely....I hope you find happiness. Smile and be positive, it goes a long way....

It amazes me how ignorant some people can be. I only wish I had as much time as you do to sit around and come up with ways to educate others to your ways of thinking. I see why you are single. Perhaps we are looking at split personalities here as both Emily and Janet are under the same screen name???? Hmmm.....

Goodmorning Nicensa__sy & Caro08. You both are so funny, and so right (amen to that)!! johnemib, nobody on this forum has the time to keep responding to your idiotic way of thinking (the "truth" ---- yeah, right); we all have more important things to do. As I said, you're just an attention seeker, but you're not gonna get it here. I wish everyone on this forum would just ignore you. Caro08, thankyou for being such a positive force for Nicensa__sy; she needs to hear from more people like you. Nicensa__sy, you're right! I noticed that "Emily" and "Janet" are under the same screen name also; we truly could be dealing with split (or multiple) personalities here; however, I wish all those personalities would keep their warped opinions to themselves. Nicensa__sy, unfortunately, I found out I wasn't pregnant (got my cycle) :-( , but I will still be trying (smile). If you're 40 (with no children), and are fortunate enough to get pregnant; as stated by many of us on this post ---- count is a blessing. This may be your only chance. I know I have a 1, 2, & 3 yr old, but I would count it a blessing to be pregnant just ONE MORE TIME. ps. johnemib/Emily/Janet, you might want to go see a shrink about all those voices in your head; I hear they can work wonders! It's worth a try.

Well I responded one more time, it was a failure. I don't know how they can lead someone who mentioned financial strains, being single, and wanting a life after into a pregnancy without any warning. Not a single one has mentioned how hard it is to raise a child on your OWN!!! I have means, security, Chris, and family and I AM worried. She will have to be up all night and go to work the next day. They said we are schizofrantic and should seek psycological help. They a__sume I am single. I don't understand why people are so close minded? Why stomp on someone stating a different opinion? It supposed to be a forum from all sorts of women. Apparently only approved answers are acceptable. Well, all I can say is I can sleep at night. I warned her even if no one else did.

Abortion is a sensitive subject especially for older women. However, you did get pregnant without fertility pills or even trying. This probably means you're still fertile you still have time. Johnemib has some points and I think everyone is being a bit harsh. If we are from the US then we shouldn't be suppressing opinions or abortion rights. If this forum is only for "approved" opinions then what is the point? As an older single person I would tend to agree (not with abortion). You shouldn't go into this situation blind. Ask yourself what is your situation? You need to take in mind your particular situation and what you want in the future. I am on my second pregnancy well into my forties with no fertility drugs for either pregnancy. Even with a nanny I am always out of energy and I do not work.

3 babies at 41 is clearly the IDIOT in need of attention. If you are going to walk into a baby with finacial strains and no father at the age of 40 you need to consider your options, including abortion! The only person who needs psycological help in a serious way in 3 babies at 41. She has is off her rocker and has lost her perspective. Maybe when her husband leaves her with those three kids will she think differently. You had better think seriously about your means and support system. Having a baby at our age takes everything you have and then some. You will definitley be out of the dating scene for the duration of pregnancy and there after. And this Janet is right. Having a baby like spraying man off all over your body. Jesus, you guys seem like the christian aniti abortion right.

Sorry joanne_B2, I know you thought I'd be fuming over your comments about me, but I'm not (smile). Have a nice, CHRISTIAN day. :-) ps. Hubby & I have been together 17 years, and he ain't goin' nowhere. It's too good here honey --- but if he does, I'll tell him to give you a call; you sound like you could use a little comfort.... :-)

WoooHoooo.....this is better than my soap opera!!! Listen, I do thank all of you who have been supportive (both sides). Just some of you have enough etiquette and manners to know how to phrase things. I know there will be a financial burden...duh..isn't it that way for everyone? I do get a monthly check now that pays me pretty well....thank goodness I got those b___bs a while back, huh??? Just kidding....But seriously, I do get money every month (we all want more...right?) so that's not as much the issue as I almost died 2 years ago and I feel as if my life is not back on track yet...and now this. I do think it's a blessing to be able to be pregnant at my age. I just feel in my heart that this is not the right time. I really need to get my stuff right or I will never be right for a baby. The only thing comforting me right now is the fact that the doc didn't get a heartbeat. I also think I may have miscarried over the weekend, but not sure yet. (waiting for doc to call back)...Bunny, I'm sorry to hear aunt flow came to town. I'm still rooting for ya!!!

Well it does seem like a good soap opera. I have to say there seems to be some bullies on this site. As for abortion, you should think about it. Can you handle it? If you can't, that doesn't mean you can't handle it later. If you got pregnant by accident there is a good chance you could have one intentionally later.