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It's YOUR body. He is seperated from you, and from what I gather isn't interested in you, but only the baby. I would very firmly tell him that the actual birth cannot be recorded, but that he may record the baby and things going on soon afterwards. Whatever you decide, you should make it very clear to your doctors and nurses so they can help control the situation if he tries to go against your wishes. I wouldn't trust the motives of a man who is seperated from you if he wants to record your most intimate and personal areas, birth or not. But that's just my opinion. There will be plenty more to film, and many more memory-making opportunities. I hope he is as eager to help you raise the baby as he is to film it. Stick by your decisions.

I would not let him film it, nor would I let him anywhere near the birth, but that's just me.

Well, I think Sherry is ok. Very nice job. I would not let him do it too. Really depends on how well you know him. Tell him the doc said no way. Not you.

I think for the sake of the baby dont let him video tape it - I would hate a video of my mother giving birth to me circulating around. Once the baby is born and you are cleaned up then let him video. Good luck.

same- no video- it's his baby (and yours) but YOUR body and your giving birth- put that down on your birth plan and make sure your hospital knows you do not want videotaping - and that he is your ex and not active husband (just in case he tries to go against your wishes)

Vaj, I think you're getting some pretty good and consistent advice here -- he's not allowed "down there" anymore -- period. Even if he tries to make up as you get closer to delivery, I wouldn't trust his motives -- no matter what your feelings say at that time. Make a plan now and stick to it. Check with your doctor, because you might not have to lie about filming not allowed in the delivery room. Also, don't bring him to any appointments. Better to draw the line now. You could also let him know that he'll be allowed only in the waiting room. That way you won't get soft when in labor about wanting the recording, and also, there's no reason you need some negative energy in the room with you. The nice thing is, if you change your mind, you can request to have him come in to the room. (But he doesn't have to know this ahead of time, does he?) Besides, is there a video of yours or his birth? Probably not. Do your parents feel like they missed anything? Now my personal thought from what I've surmised from girlfriends: Men spend too much time focusing and zooming with the camera that they miss out on the experience and, most importantly, don't give mom proper attention during birth.

I will not let him video tape me either. If you are not together any longer, just make sure you will feel confortable having him around the moment of the birth. You need to feel fine, safe, in control; I don't think I will allow him to be next to me. True it's his baby as well, but it was a choice to leave while pregnant. He can come after the baby is born and give some peace while you are into labor. Best of lucks with your baby!!!!

I left my first husband when i was 6 months pregnant, so I know how you feel. Just hang in there. Everything will be fine. On the video note. My sister in law had me video tape her babies being born. She asked that a tasteful G rated tape be done. I taped the happiness and the joy on their faces. I taped there hand holding during a contraction, I taped the babies first cry and the first introduction. They are beautiful tapes, that even the child would be happy to watch one day. My suggestion to you is to have someone you trust video tape the experience in such a way as I have described, then give the tape to you. You can then give a copy to the babies father in it's entirety or edited to what you feel comfortable showing. This is a good way to make both of you happy. It may be your body, but it is also your child and who is to say that the two of you will not get back together?

I've heard that most doctors and or hospitals today do not allow video taping any more do to possible law suits. I agree with maidencanada, if you want to record the experience somehow find someone you trust.