Pregnancy Info HOME

Wow...you are not stupid. We are never stupid. If this is the first time things are working out for you and this pregnancy is working then maybe it's meant to be. I see it as a separate thing from your man in your life. If you have no children please believe that a child will change your life forever. You do not necessarily need a man to make it all happen. I came on this website because I have two great kids and just miscarried at age 38 and I really do not know what to do next....but reading your story touches me because I have been in your place. I am now married to a pretty great man, but did not always have that luck. But I must say, if you are ready for a great ride, a baby can give you so much that you have never dreamed of. I mean it! Listen to your heart and it will lead you the right way. And reach out for help when you need it. There's so many wonderful people out there to help you if you look!

Kea, You are definitey not stupid. Our emotions get the best of us at the best of times!! I am pregnant with my first and like you, I don't feel mature enough either. But here we are, and somehow, we learn to deal. And surprisingly, we do manage and are the better for it. You will do great with or without someone!!! It is a lot that you are dealing with right now. Take some time for you!! You will be alright!!!!

betsy and charlene, so many thanks for your words of encouragement. you're right, hormones are getting the better of me. i have a little more perspective now, and will follow my pre-pregnancy belief that any chance given is worth taking. Betsy, i hope everything is ok, i don't mean to be insensitive mentioning termination when there are women out there having the awful experience of miscarriage which i know is traumatic at any time. i hope you find support from the many experiences shared on this site. Charlene, may your pregnancy be as smooth as your answer. thanks for the comfort and time taken to give it, girls. x

Kea, its totally normal to second guess yourself on a matter this large. I'm 39, been married for 9 years, and own finacially stable, and I still wonder if we are ready. Its a big event in your life. If you didn't have any intrepidations, well, then you should be worried. I've had friends in your situation and once they hold their baby for the first time they have a hard time picturing their life any other way. Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!

thanks Lena. well, it wasn't meant to be. I'm distraught and have mad baby fever now, could go out and grab any (single) man. i guess that answers a lot of my own questions. incidentally i went to my doctor today and asked him to investigate any reasons why i might be having problems staying pregnant. his answer in short and verbatim was unless i am "in a stable relationship and have been trying for months", he will not order any tests. i understand why he might suggest a stable relationship before pregnancy, but i'm mad that he was so unsympathetic to my 'not knowing'. and it's hardly fair to go into a future relationship with someone who might desperately want kids together and then it not be an option down the line. you have to bear in mind i'm in the UK, our doctors have more power than we do as patients! He didn't even examine me or offer support, just told me to take painkillers and turned away from me. i felt so bad i burst into tears in Starbucks. at least i don't have to consider my ex in all this now. Good luck all you wonderful ladies, treasure your opportunities and successes, and cherish your partners who are there when things aren't so lucky, ready to love you and maybe, hopefully, try again.

Kea, its funny how we don't know the answer to something until the decision is made for us. I'm sorry for your loss, and for your doctors lack of empathy regarding your loss. I don't intend this to sound cra__s so please don't take it that way. Our bodies have an amazing ability of knowing when a pregnancy is right or wrong. Pregnancies can end because the conceptus isn't "right" or even because of tremendous stress in our lives. I just read a new report yesterday that examined 200 couples, their stress levels, and their conception rates. Both stressed women and men have a high m/c rate than their non stressed counterparts. Also, stressed couples (where one or the other partner was stressed) took an average of 4 cycles to produce a live birth compared to 2 cycles for the nonstressed couple. Your relationship of 12 years just ended and that could be tramatic enough in itself. Another thought is that your m/c could have been caused by low progesterone, whch is one of the most common causes of m/c. Thankfully this is easily treatable with progesterone supplementation. Next time you find yourself pregnant, schedule a progesterone and hCG test IMMEDIATELY. The sooner you get results the more likely you'll be able to save the pregnancy. Now regarding your partner deliemna (Sure wish we could use paragraphs here) have you considered IUI? To be honest, I never thought I would be an IUIer. I have a good friend who was conceived by the old "turkey baster" method in the 70's and until I realized IUI was my only option (my husband had a vasectomy 20 yrs ago) I would kinda chuckle to myself. Now that I've come to terms with our fertility issue, IUI doesn't seem odd at all. At 39 I'm at that age where I just want a baby and I realize it will be our baby no matter what.

thanks for the chuckle, the turkey baster made me laugh, finally. i know adoption or like are options we all have, i just hope that you achieve your pregnancy with your partner without having to consider them, and what a great story to tell your kids every thanksgiving when preparing your turkey, that we should be grateful for the baster too! sending you love and positive thoughts

My friend also has a full-brother, conceived the same way. One Thanksgiving he set a place for the Turkey Baster and they make jokes about it every Thanksgiving, marriage, graduation, etc. Its good not to take ourselves to seriously.

yes kids need to parents BUT sometimes its NOT possible. My husband died leaving me with young children and i raised them on MY own with NO support and they are healthy, smart and fun people that i enjoy. THEY are my family and with the help of GOD we survived and with alot of laughter due to the fact that i trusted he would take care of us and he has. im so proud. i know its hard for people who raise kids alone but it is possible and having a selfish man who doesnt want his kids doesnt deserve them and they are better off with out him. You are alot maturer than you realize and you will see when this child is born, Motherhood matures us all..lol so dont worry hun

Kea - If you've read any similar stories the majority of us beleive that married or alone bringing a baby into the world can be scary. You are mature enough and have gathered a lot of wisdom in your 35 years. My advice is to keep it. Your baby will bring more joy and happiness to your life than you could ever imagine. Being a single parent is not ideal, but it you can make it like millions of others do. You are not stupid! If you meet another man that will not except your child then that man is not for you anyway. It's hard for you too see how importnat you baby will be to you now, but when your baby is in your arms the sky could fall and it would not matter as long as you have your baby. Trust me once you have your baby, your perspective on life will change for the better. I hope this helps. I have a 4 year old son and nothing else mattered after I had him. My life is all about making his life the best it can be and I love every min. of it.

adoption is an option!!!! we would love to adopt your bundle of joy if you are able to carry it through.... wannabe_mommy1100@yahoo.com