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Once again, I didn't mean to start a holy war by asking my question. It appears, though, there will always be hugely differing opinions on this one. I can understand, and agree with, some of what's being said, yet disagree with other things, too. For instance, going back to something CM said earlier...while there are grandchildren being raised by their grandparents because the parents have "issues", that's not the only, or usual, scenario I've seen. Typically, it's that both parents work outside the home. Neither the parents nor the grandparents want the children in daycare (not to mention it saves money, though I know of some grandparents who are paid). Also, about my adult children having "their turn" at having kids. I don't mind my children having their own kids, but as said before, I would want them to be married when they start having families. But, let me ask you a question. I understand that most people have only a couple of children these days. When I was younger (and well before then), large families were common...I'm talking a good 6, 7, 10, or more children. That would, most likely, mean mom would be having kids when at least one of her grown children was having babies, too. Why would she be "taking away" from the happiness of one of her own children? It makes no sense to me. It should be double happiness, and shared happiness. That's like saying if you're a single parent, either through death or divorce, and any children you have are grown up and getting married, it would be selfish if you got (re)married, too, because it's now your "children's turn". I'm not in compet_tion with my children, nor am I trying to be. If I didn't know better, it seems more so that age discrimination is at work here. I feel as though I'm reading something that says, "Okay, you raised your kids into adulthood. Don't think about doing anything other than becoming a grandma, and certainly don't think of doing anything that 'young' people do." I don't dissect everything I do and a___lyze it to see if it's something that a younger vs. older person would do. If I feel able to do it, I do it. It's the same with things that might be considered "man" stuff. If I can lift up a heavy object by myself, I'm not going to call my husband over to do it just because he happens to be a man. While it's true that I have no way of knowing what sort of condition I'll be in 10 years (or if I'll even be alive), the same could be said for ANYBODY. You have no idea of how many times I've heard of, or read of, local people dying at young ages and leaving behind little children. Before you a__sume it's all due to accidents, sometimes their tragic deaths are due to illnesses (especially cancer).
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I agree with what your saying confused. Like I said my dad was great and he was strong and able for years. If you wanna try for another one then go ahead!! Just make sure to take extra good care of yourself for the childrens sake. You are not ancient or anything. My dad was 15 years older then you. And he is still here today. No one knows what the future holds. If we start putting age restictions on giving birth then when is the acceptable time to start having kids and when should we stop? I dont think that you should let anyone put you down and say you will be unfit. I wasnt saying that by the way. I was reflecting. I could die in five years and you could be around for 25 30 40 more. no one knows and if you wanna have a baby then by all means dont let anyone sway your decision. God knows whats best and if he sees fit to give you another who are we to question it. Good Luck hun!!!
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Dobytch~ Thanks. It is so hard. The one thing about having such an older parent was that I always appriciated him and never took him for granted even today. I was brought up with old fashion values. Like marriage being a sacred thing and waiting for marriage before you give it up. not to say that parents to install these values today but it is less common. People get married to get divorced and have what do they call them s_x buddies. anyways I am not trying to cause drama but I am so thankful that I have a dad who made sure I learned the important things in life.
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to confused- i am not in your situation, i'm only 30 (and i already have 6 kids) but i thought i'd give my opinion. i say- go for it. if you and your husband are healthy, i see no reason not to. i know lots of mothers who are over 40+ and are still having children. (my friend hanna is 43 and is preg with #10.) i respect everyone's opinions here and am not looking to argue, i just thought i put in my 10 cents. good luck.
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To jennifer_33106 - my gosh my gosh my gosh...... must have been so hard watching your father developing dementia.... Poor poor girl... Thinking of my kids, too - their father was 56 and 57 when they were born. I did make him promise to live to walk his daughter along the isle - but it was all half jokingly, of course... He's the best with the kids, our little son is a small copy of him, kind and gentle... I think to have a GOOD dad for a shorter time is better than to have a BAD dad forever.
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ConfuseD, just a bit of a different angle - could it be the *motherly* hormones working? I mean, when I was in around pregnancy and baby time, I wanted badly to have more,,,,, Then they turn into toddlers and pre-schoolers and you think - aha, that's what the REAL labor is... Then again, you have had many more kids and know better. As some here said - your own feeling is the best counsel. Too bad you bump into c___ppy doctors - wish you find less spooky ones, or at least educate them with your own experience...
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